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Breaking up with Busyness

Breaking up with busyness

September is National Self-Care month. Self-care is not about massages and manicures but about doing the things that help you operate at your best self. For me, that means breaking up with busyness. For the last several months, I have been busy with no results. The things that I invest time in has not brought fulfillment. The things that my busyness is taking away from is falling by the wayside. This month I decided to self-care I need to stop being busy and do the things that are going to bring fulfillment.

Psalm 62:1 (NIV) Truly, my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.

What I knew

I was taught, “idle hands are the devils’ playground.” It has stuck with me throughout my life. Still busying myself with a task, some meaningful and some meaningless.  Then, I became a mother and applied that to my children. Signing them up for classes, keeping their weekly calendar full with outings, play dates and activities.  Teaching them that they should always have something to do and not allowing them to have the time of rest or leisure. After rereading the story of Mary and Martha I came to an epiphanie- “I need to break up with busyness.”

Luke 10:41-42 (NIV) “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” 

For the first time in my adult life, I wanted to be a “Mary.” Previously, I took pride in the fact that I was an exceptional multitasker and exemplary at time management.  I realized slowing down and taking time to “be still” was an admirable trait.

Why is Busyness Applauded?

Many people are always on the go until they reach exhaustion.  Busyness is considered tremendous, and stillness is deemed to be lazy.  When we are still, we can hear God, be closer to Him, and use His guidance.

Mark 6:31-32 (NIV)
31 Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”32 So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

Are we valuing our relationships?

Being busy also keeps us from having meaningful relationships with others.  We are so wrapped up in the go-go; we aren’t fostering our communities and fellowship, which is very important.

Hebrews 10:24–25

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and ball the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Are we meaningful and present in our significant relationships, like our spouse or children? Are we filling our time and presence with stuff and activities? Is it worth the stress and isolation to be task-oriented?

Three Ways I plan to break up with Busyness

  1. Say “No” more. I often say, “yes” before even thinking of how it will add or take away value from my life.  I plan on saying, “Not Yet” and “No” more and see if the situation or task will take away from my life.
  2. Get over FOMO. I often say, “Yes” because I don’t want to miss out on anything. I have always been like that but I am starting to realize that I don’t have to be part of everything and that is okay. Age brings you the wisdom I guess.
  3. Knowing my Why.  If I stayed focused on the “why” I am doing something than “what” I am doing will either have more or less meaning. Being rooted in my “why” will help me discern of the things that are meant for me.

My “Aha” Moment

The story of Mary and Martha was an epiphany for me. I discovered I wanted to fellowship, devote more time to God and my family and friends.  Have a more meaningful and present relationship with the people in my life.  It gave me permission that I needed to slow down and reduce so that I could be more like Mary. When I am planning for my children now, it’s memorable experiences versus expertise in activities. I spend quality time in the Word, with my husband daily, my family, my dog and my stress level are low.  I am living the “Mary” lifestyle and enjoying the moments instead of calculating my time. So, the last part of the year I am going to be doing less and enjoying more. This life was not meant to cram as much as we can into every hour but to enjoy every hour that we have. That’s the plan let’s see if I stick with it.

Does busy equal important? Which would you prefer the “Mary” or “Martha” lifestyle?

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Understanding God’s Love

Psalm 127:3 (NIV) “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”

He Gives Us Real-Life Examples

Sometimes, I wonder does God give us children to understand His frustrations, unconditional love, empathy, and desire for more than we want for ourselves. I can remember my mother telling me, “I can’t wait till you have children of your own.” Of course, it wasn’t until I had children of my own; I could understand her perspective.

Reminders in the Word

When reading the word, I sometimes relate to motherhood. It is something that is a part of my identity and that I can easily relate and understand. For example, my children’s selective hearing. I will tell my daughter specific instructions, at which she will do something entirely different or my favorite, nothing at all. Then, it ends up messed up, and I either have to help her or tell her again. Then by “GODcidence”, I am reading Jonah how God told him to flee Ninevah.

[“Cliff Notes” version, although Jonah is a very short yet powerful chapter in the Bible] He does his own thing deliberately disobeying God and sets out for Tarshish (for those new to the story which is thousands of miles in a different direction). Jonah ends up in the belly of a big fish (aka whale). God the Father delivers Jonah and again tells his hard headed child to go to Ninevah and deliver a message.

Jonah 3:1-2 (NIV) “Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.”

As I am reading this, of course, I think “man Jonah sounds like my daughters’.” There is a difference, though; our God has so much more compassion and patience than I. He is slow to anger (which I am working/praying on).

More than I deserve

Jonah 4:2, 4-5 (NIV) 2 “He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.

4 But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”5 Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city.”

It even angered Jonah to think after all he had done God still provided. Even though Jonah had no right to be angry, God still provided Him shade from the sun. Just like when my twelve-year-old gets mad at me for doing what’s right for her but not the way she wanted me to. Doesn’t make me stop loving or caring for her. I am her mother, who still loves her and will always do anything to provide.I sometimes sit back thinking I am so undeserving of His grace. God reminds me of the grace and unconditional love through my girls. Comparing God’s love to a mother’s love is the only way I can make sense of His unwavering love.

None Like Him

Now, I know the story of Jonah is not about how to love your children, rather obey the Lord and to forgive everyone. Comparing it to my kids helps me gain perspective. (Since, coming back to my faith I have found several different applications of the story of Jonah.) There is no man that would give their Son for me much like how I would give up everything for my girls, (which “Godcidentally” God has given me them too). I am grateful for my Heavenly Father’s unconditional love and although sometimes I feel I am not worth it or don’t like how things are done. At the end of the day, He loves me for who I am, and that will never change.

What helps you understand God’s love?

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Growing Faith Muscles

 

FaithFueled Friday

Changing old habits

When I first came back to Christ, I was a stressed, worried mess. I worried about everything I had no control over, (which is everything) making myself physically sick. It may even have been the cause of me losing one of my twins in my last pregnancy. I would go over scenarios over and over again in my mind, making things worse each time. Then, after speaking with an excellent friend and mentor about my constant anxiety; She suggested a “God Box.” A “God box” is to place all my worries. First, I would write down my issues, pray, and then deposit it in the box. Anytime I began to worry, or what she likes to call “mentally masturbate” (that’s why I love her so) I would look at my box and acknowledge that I had already given it to God.

Matthew 6:34 (NIV) 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Growing Faith Muscles

This small gesture brought me great peace. At the time it was hard for me to trust completely in the Lord. I still sometimes struggle with this. In the world, you are so used to leaning on yourself for solutions when problems arise. In Christ, He will carry your burdens (Who does that? Not your fellow man!) which are something I am not used too. Breaking old habits is hard. Being a child of God, is just that, a child where you must learn new skills.

Matthew 11:28 (NIV) “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

Pumping My Muscles

Faith, Grace, and Mercy seem to be a like a muscle you need to grow; You must continually exercise it to see results. My friend’s suggestion of a “God Box”, which I now call my “prayer box” was exactly what I needed to increase my faith and truly understand God’s grace. Constructing my first box was simple. I took a tissue box covered it in shimmery paper and cut a hole in the top. All my worries were placed in it. I would still worry; it wasn’t an instant fix, but instead of continually going over the scenarios the box reminded me to pray.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus

 

GrowingYourFaithMuscle

Seeing Results

Eventually, my stomach subsided, things began to get better, prayers were being answered, and I wasn’t worrying.  Months went by, and I continued to exercise my new coping mechanism. One day, in the midst of prayer, God told me to open the box.  First, I didn’t realize how much stuff I worried about.  Secondly, I didn’t know how many prayers God had answered in less than three months.  His grace and mercy brought to fruition in my life.  Rewind two years later, prayer (and of course God) has changed my life, health, and stress.  I still break out the box when I need to release my burdens. I also use it to praise Him when I open it up to see all the things that he has done for me. If only I knew of His sovereignty sooner (not just in theory but actual application) in my adult life.

GrowingYourFaithMuscle.

How do you handle your stress? How do you strengthen your faith?

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Outside of my Comfort Zone

still

The voice of the Lord twists the oaks ad strips the forest bare. An in his temple all cry, Glory! Psalms 29:9

Lacking the ability of direction

I have a horrible sense of direction. Always have not sure if it’s inherited but my mother does too. Get us together and we are the blind leading the blind. I learned when my daughter was in 2nd grade that we all have certain genius’. And spatial genius-being good a directions and space, that is something that I lack.

So, for the last year I have felt lost.  Like, I know I am going in some sort of direction but a little confused.  I have been seeking God’s guidance and his response has been, “be still.”  Well they tell you when you are lost to stay still till someone finds you, right? I am not the stay still type of person. I have been pursuing different directions trying to find the direction of this evolving new me for about 4 years, but still lost.  Again, seeking God’s direction and again, His response “be still.” This time is different, I am tired of thinking I am heading in the right direction only to be getting further and further lost.  I want to stay still, but how does one stay still?

How does one stay still?

Have you ever tried to stay still? I have stayed still in moments, each time progressively longer but never till I found an answer.  Never committing fully or entirely grasping the concept of “staying still.” If someone put a gun to my head I could probably master it but honestly;

Who wants a gun held to their head?

I rather voluntarily submit. I am trying to be still before God forces me too.  He has gently reminded me from time to time for some time now.  I have decided that I really really want to obey.

The definition of be still is-not moving or making a sound; deep silence and calm; stillness; and quieten.  I am someone who is constantly moving. I always having an idea that needs to be brought to fruition. I am loud, not calm (calmer now that I am older but still I wouldn’t characterize me as calm), constantly active and quieten-I had to look that one up and nope not that either. To sit still is literally torture to me which makes me think:

“Why does God want to torture me?”

Yet, I really feel that God wants me to be still, so what does that mean for me? I honestly have no clue what to do when you are still and my husband jokingly says,

“that means do nothing.”

So, I go to google because clearly someone has had to created steps to “doing nothing.”

Yea, no.

Next, I got to the source the ultimate instruction manual the Bible. What does the Bible say about being still?

Figuring out the steps

I am being still to honor and serve God therefore, once I achieve being still then I need to wait on God.   Okay, waiting now that is something that I am very familiar with. I am not am an impatient person. So, not only does God want me to be still, but He also wants me to wait. Who ever said this being a Christian thing is easy- is a LIAR! So, I now take this journey down a path to strengthen my faith I find that God is working on three things in me- my ability to be obedient, my ability to be still and to be patient and wait on Him to come guide me where I need to go.  Let’s tackle one thing at a time: be still.

stillwater

In my google search there was not a Wiki-How on how to be still but there was a quote that resonated with me.  “You can only see your reflection in still water.” Did you get the same “Aha” that I did? Praise God for shining a little light on the subject. Here I am lost trying to find my way trying to find my calling. I told a friend one time I felt like a Spaghetti noodle being flung on the wall trying to see if I stick.  I have so many talents, passions, ideas but every time I go to God to see where to take them I get the “be still.” Then, this quote brought so much clarity. I can’t figure out how to use these talents, pursue my passion until I am still enough to see my reflection. God wasn’t trying to torture me at all He was trying to give me the direction that I have been praying about for years and my hard headed self was trying to figure it out myself. When He really was answering me. How many times do we do that? Ask God to answer our prayers and then ignore Him when He actually does? (You can put your hand down, now.)

“The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” Exodus 14:14

He makes things so easy sometimes I feel like we are the ones who complicate it. So, I need to be still so that I can figure out and hear God better and start going in the direction of whatever purpose He has for me. Yep, easier said than done. So, actively trying to be still which for me is taking a step back from everything but raising my family. Daily devoting into the word, reading books, the Bible and just learning  and growing in Him. For when I am actually still enough to see my reflection I want to be ready. I hopefully don’t have to wait too long.

Be Patient and Wait

This brings me to the next growing pain from God. I haven’t completely achieved being still and obedient. Although, I am honestly giving it all that I have growing that muscle daily but being patient and waiting is a lesson that I have learned before from God. Again, haven’t mastered it but I think He was preparing me for this phase of life so I have some understanding on how it is done. There are a few passages, highlighted, sticker-ed (Yes, I put stickers in my Bible) and heavily noted on waiting. My absolute favorite and another “Aha” is:

We wait in hope for the Lord;

He is our help and our shied.

In him our hearts rejoice,

For we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,

Ever as we put our hope in you.

Psalms 34:20-22

essentials to waiting

4 Essentials to Waiting

  1. WAIT. Although, we don’t want to we must wait on the Lord. He is only conspiring for our good and although it may seem like a long time for us it is only a moment for Him. His plan supersedes our plan and He wants more for us than we can even imagine all we have to do is wait for His provision.  For your salvation I wait, O Lord. Genesis 49:18
  2. HELP. If it really gets too hard to wait, too much to bear then we need to rely on Him but to be impatient with God and try to do things our own way means that we don’t trust in Him to provide. We are so used to instant gratification but doesn’t meant that is how things should be. God is our refuge our strength in ever present help in trouble.  Psalm 46:1
  3. REJOICE. One of my favorite quotes is: When times are sweet give thanks and celebrate. When times are bitter give thanks and grow. We should always rejoice in the Lord, “For this is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalms 118:24 It can always be worse but it is only a day, a moment, a season and blip in time that the Lord gives us, We should rejoice. So when waiting rejoice for where you are presently. Rejoice for where you will be in the future and rejoice and praise the Lord always for his provision. Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4
  4. TRUST. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and not lead to your own understanding Proverbs 3:5 because honestly, you just won’t get it. He has a upper story a meaning and a purpose planned out. What we are looking at here and now is not the full picture. It is a narrow perspective. We have to have trust in Him that He is conspiring for us in all things (which He is). How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, on those who take refuge in you.

I know what I need to be doing and I kind of know how to do it. So, I am just going to take a seat before He makes me take a seat and let God do His thing. I will try to rejoice and not look at it as torture because He could ask me to do far greater and harder things than to just be still. (ie. Moses, Abraham, Gideon, David….just for example)
Has God ever asked you to do something out of your comfort zone?

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Giving Glory not Seeking Attention

Road

1 John 2:15-17 (NIV) 15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

The Wrong Road to Success

When I was in the world, I constantly sought acceptance and recognition from others. Striving to keep up with the Jones’ to prove to others I was equal to them and their success.  Never measuring up to the constantly raising ceiling of status and fearing mediocrity.  Then, I accepted Jesus who unconditionally loved me whether I was poor or rich.  No matter my social status I was perfection in His eyes. My desire to possess things I couldn’t afford put my life and marriage under emotional and physical stress.  The more I focused on what I didn’t have the more anxious and depressed I became.  Then, I grew more in Jesus.  I realized that only He could create the wealth and comfort I sought. Only through Him what I yearned was easily possible.  Jesus fed thousands with only 5 loaves and 2 fishes; made wine out of water. He could surely help me pursue my dreams.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

crossroads

Finding My Way

All I had to do was connect with Him he was all the acceptance I need. All I had to do was glorify Him for all He has done, which should be easy since He has been the only one to actually do something for me by giving His life.  Then, I realized Jesus love for me. With His unfailing love my life and has been renewed.  I now am grateful for His sacrifice which has brought contentment and harmony to my life. I no longer have to prove to man I am worthy.  I have to praise Him for making me worthy.  I am now content with wherever I am in life because I know that no matter what I achieve or have on this earth, the best is yet to come. With that understandings brings a new awareness of how beautiful my life truly is and makes me want to be a light for Jesus. To show how God’s glory is shining through me.

Isaiah 55:12-13(NIV)12 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown,for an everlasting sign,that will endure forever.”

glory

Continuing on the right path

Now that I know this realization, I still struggle with staying focused on Christ. Old habits are hard to break and I still sometimes look at the greener grass on the other side of the fence. Although, I know that it is the same grass I am tempted to want it. I have to rely on Christ to keep me focused. I need him daily in my life to keep me from my own desires to want what others have. I try to find encouragement in the word. Being new to Christ I try to learn the word and am amazed at how that day’s devotion or a post I see on Social media is calling me back to where I need to be. I have asked mentors when will the struggle end and it won’t. “The struggle is real” but God’s grace is redeeming and without the struggle I don’t think that I would have the appreciation that I have.

Galatians 5:16 (NIV) 16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Is it hard to put your own pride aside and do for God? Do you seek guidance from God when setting to achieve goals? What do you do when you find yourself falling into old habits?

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