Tag: chrisitanity

Breaking up with Busyness

Post author By De
Post date September 9, 2019
12 Comments on Breaking up with Busyness

Breaking up with busyness

September is National Self-Care month. Self-care is not about massages and manicures but about doing the things that help you operate at your best self. For me, that means breaking up with busyness. For the last several months, I have been busy with no results. The things that I invest time in has not brought fulfillment. The things that my busyness is taking away from is falling by the wayside. This month I decided to self-care I need to stop being busy and do the things that are going to bring fulfillment.

Psalm 62:1 (NIV) Truly, my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.

What I knew

I was taught, “idle hands are the devils’ playground.” It has stuck with me throughout my life. Still busying myself with a task, some meaningful and some meaningless. Then, I became a mother and applied that to my children. Signing them up for classes, keeping their weekly calendar full with outings, play dates and activities. Teaching them that they should always have something to do and not allowing them to have the time of rest or leisure. After rereading the story of Mary and Martha I came to an epiphanie- “I need to break up with busyness.”

Luke 10:41-42 (NIV) “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

For the first time in my adult life, I wanted to be a “Mary.” Previously, I took pride in the fact that I was an exceptional multitasker and exemplary at time management. I realized slowing down and taking time to “be still” was an admirable trait.

Why is Busyness Applauded?

Many people are always on the go until they reach exhaustion. Busyness is considered tremendous, and stillness is deemed to be lazy. When we are still, we can hear God, be closer to Him, and use His guidance.

Mark 6:31-32 (NIV)
³¹Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”³²So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

Are we valuing our relationships?

Being busy also keeps us from having meaningful relationships with others. We are so wrapped up in the go-go; we aren’t fostering our communities and fellowship, which is very important.

Hebrews 10:24–25

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and ball the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Are we meaningful and present in our significant relationships, like our spouse or children? Are we filling our time and presence with stuff and activities? Is it worth the stress and isolation to be task-oriented?

Three Ways I plan to break up with Busyness

Say “No” more. I often say, “yes” before even thinking of how it will add or take away value from my life. I plan on saying, “Not Yet” and “No” more and see if the situation or task will take away from my life.
Get over FOMO. I often say, “Yes” because I don’t want to miss out on anything. I have always been like that but I am starting to realize that I don’t have to be part of everything and that is okay. Age brings you the wisdom I guess.
Knowing my Why. If I stayed focused on the “why” I am doing something than “what” I am doing will either have more or less meaning. Being rooted in my “why” will help me discern of the things that are meant for me.

My “Aha” Moment

The story of Mary and Martha was an epiphany for me. I discovered I wanted to fellowship, devote more time to God and my family and friends. Have a more meaningful and present relationship with the people in my life. It gave me permission that I needed to slow down and reduce so that I could be more like Mary. When I am planning for my children now, it’s memorable experiences versus expertise in activities. I spend quality time in the Word, with my husband daily, my family, my dog and my stress level are low. I am living the “Mary” lifestyle and enjoying the moments instead of calculating my time. So, the last part of the year I am going to be doing less and enjoying more. This life was not meant to cram as much as we can into every hour but to enjoy every hour that we have. That’s the plan let’s see if I stick with it.

Does busy equal important? Which would you prefer the “Mary” or “Martha” lifestyle?

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Understanding God’s Love

Psalm 127:3 (NIV) “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”

He Gives Us Real-Life Examples

Sometimes, I wonder does God give us children to understand His frustrations, unconditional love, empathy, and desire for more than we want for ourselves. I can remember my mother telling me, “I can’t wait till you have children of your own.” Of course, it wasn’t until I had children of my own; I could understand her perspective.

Reminders in the Word

When reading the word, I sometimes relate to motherhood. It is something that is a part of my identity and that I can easily relate and understand. For example, my children’s selective hearing. I will tell my daughter specific instructions, at which she will do something entirely different or my favorite, nothing at all. Then, it ends up messed up, and I either have to help her or tell her again. Then by “GODcidence”, I am reading Jonah how God told him to flee Ninevah.

[“Cliff Notes” version, although Jonah is a very short yet powerful chapter in the Bible] He does his own thing deliberately disobeying God and sets out for Tarshish (for those new to the story which is thousands of miles in a different direction). Jonah ends up in the belly of a big fish (aka whale). God the Father delivers Jonah and again tells his hard headed child to go to Ninevah and deliver a message.

Jonah 3:1-2 (NIV) “Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.”

As I am reading this, of course, I think “man Jonah sounds like my daughters’.” There is a difference, though; our God has so much more compassion and patience than I. He is slow to anger (which I am working/praying on).

More than I deserve

Jonah 4:2, 4-5 (NIV) 2 “He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.

4 But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”5 Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city.”

It even angered Jonah to think after all he had done God still provided. Even though Jonah had no right to be angry, God still provided Him shade from the sun. Just like when my twelve-year-old gets mad at me for doing what’s right for her but not the way she wanted me to. Doesn’t make me stop loving or caring for her. I am her mother, who still loves her and will always do anything to provide.I sometimes sit back thinking I am so undeserving of His grace. God reminds me of the grace and unconditional love through my girls. Comparing God’s love to a mother’s love is the only way I can make sense of His unwavering love.

None Like Him

Now, I know the story of Jonah is not about how to love your children, rather obey the Lord and to forgive everyone. Comparing it to my kids helps me gain perspective. (Since, coming back to my faith I have found several different applications of the story of Jonah.) There is no man that would give their Son for me much like how I would give up everything for my girls, (which “Godcidentally” God has given me them too). I am grateful for my Heavenly Father’s unconditional love and although sometimes I feel I am not worth it or don’t like how things are done. At the end of the day, He loves me for who I am, and that will never change.

What helps you understand God’s love?

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We Left the World

Flash Back Friday calls for a post that was originally published June 2015! Through our faith we have managed to find a steady foundation for our family to stand. We have lost some friends, gained some and opened our eyes to a new life in Christ. Together as a family we work steadfast to be a light for God in all we do. Although, we may fail we are no longer living in the world that we once were.

I have not always been a mother fueled by her faith. Not long ago, I was a mother trying to raise two little girls to be the best they could be in this lost world. We were living in the world. We were believers but we didn’t have a relationship with God. We would say our goodnight prayers but that was about all I had taught my children about God.

As our family grew from just one little girl to two little girls and then three. A yearning of fullfillment plagued me. Living in the world was no longer satisfying. I needed more purpose, more substance, I needed God in my everyday life. My life changed from needing God in my life; to wanting God in my life. Once my mindset changed life how I knew it quickly transformed.

One day, I decided that praying for God to be apart of my families life wasn’t going to cut it. We needed fellowship, praise and education. I began searching for a church to attend. It didn’t take me long because God already had a home for me.

Guided by Him I went to church one Sunday which was different for me because I was raised to attend church on Saturday. Although, I was raised different everything felt so right.

During the last worship song the Holy Spirit took over. I was filled with overwhelming joy. Then, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me clearly “you are home”. That was the beginning of my family leaving the world and beginning to serve Christ.

My daughter’s love our Church and participate and serve wherever they can. I too serve in the Children’s Ministry and attend small groups and Bible study. I have made fast friends and had some deep connection with some women. My husband is also more faithful and leads our family everyday in prayer before we go our separate ways.

It’s all so amazing what God has done in our lives. My husband once said, “we used to have a happy home but now our home is filled with pure joy.” The difference is uncanny and hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it. My marriage is stronger than ever and I now feel that I am living in purpose instead of day to day. This journey that my family is on through God’s grace is only getting started.

Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on things above not on earthly things.”

How did you bring your family to Christ? Were you always a Christian family or did you make come from living in the world too?

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Idolizing Success

FaithFueled Friday

Psalm 31:6 (NIV) I hate those who cling to worthless idols; as for me, I trust in the Lord.

Idols

Chasing the impossible dream

Did you ever have to read the poem, A Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes? I loved it; I used to think of it when things would go wrong in business. It now has new meaning. I used to be an Entrepreneur I was so obsessed with the “Success” of my business; fulfilling my dream. At the time, I had two little girls 10 and 6 and one on the way. I don’t know if it was the pregnancy hormones, but I was on a mission to put my business on a stable platform before I had my baby. My need to succeed placed on any other priority. I relentlessly pursued every opportunity right or wrong. Looking back I have realized; my business never would be successful because God was not in the equation. I did not commission Him to help me reach my goals. I took it on my shoulders to carry that burden and became weak. Spending wasted ours chasing money and success.

Ecclesiastes 1:14 (NIV) I have seen all thins that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Idol

Flaws in the dream process

Now, the poem has new meaning. What happens to a dream deferred? It remains, it’s not going anywhere sometimes it needs to rest and placed for a later time. Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? It all depends on where your heart is. My heart now belongs entirely to God any dream that doesn’t glorify him has shriveled and died. I have new ideas that I am finding out can incorporate some of the old thoughts but unless it’s foundation is placed in the Lord it’s on shaky grounds. Or fester like a sore and then run? It did rot, I thought about “What will people think?” “What about all that energy I put into it?,”What about others who can obtain their dreams?” at one point all sore points but I have now found contentment in God and those wounds have healed.

idol.

Gaining the focus I need

Does it stink like rotten meat? Not anymore that has been thrown away. There is a new dream, one that involves God who can make it better than anything I could have done on my own. Or crust and sugar over– like a syrupy sweet? The peace I have, the lack of angst, the new focus is so much more pleasing. I sit back and look at those who I used to run with towards the shiny gold medal. I see the error of our ways and rather than be sore or smell the agony of defeat, I feel contentment. That is so much sweeter than being in the rat race. Maybe it just sags like a heavy load? Not for me I have someone to help me carry that burden, someone to give my yoke to so that I can be free from burdens. Or does it explode? Only through his grace has my business taken on new heights. The delivery has changed, but it is far exceeding anything that I could have done on my own. All because I put my idol of “success” away and leaned and relied on God. Is there something that you are making a priority over God? Is there something that you’ve done a priority and want to give it over to him now? Either way, what were your results?

Philippians 3:12-14 (12) Not that i have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. (13) Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But on thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, (14) I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

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Meant to be together

I don’t think I realized my need for a community or friends until I left college. When you’re in a social setting that surrounds you with opportunities to create friendships, it’s easy. Then I got married, had a baby, and moved six hours away from my friends, family and the life I had made. I went through seasons of life in a flash. We lived in Massachusetts and my husband was following his career aspirations and worked long hours. I stayed at home with our newborn daughter and although I wasn’t alone I felt very much alone. It took years to make friends, which were just mom friends of children that my daughter grew up with. There were a few lasting bonds as our children grew older but nothing like my good ole college days.

A change of heart

Six years later, we moved back to my hometown and I reconnected with old friends from high school. Then, I began to follow Christ and suddenly my love affair with the Lord began to come between my friendship. As I became more acquainted with Christ the people I chose to spend my time with weren’t those old high school buddies.

1 Corinthians 15:33 ³³Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

I needed to be with people who had similar interests and beliefs and had more to offer me than a high bill at the bar during happy hour. I needed people who believed in what I believed, Jesus. Again, that yearning for companionship began and I started to look at the only place I knew, church.

Being new to Christ, I was amazed at how hard it was to find people who I could connect with beyond the pleasantries of chit chat at church. I finally thought I had connected with another mother of three children who ages were the same as mine. It was great to have someone to relate to on multiple levels. I confided in her struggles and suddenly she severed ties. I am still not sure why and it is very awkward at church; I could have questioned myself, what I say? Did I do something?

There are no perfect people: Especially Christian church goers

Matthew 15:8-9 “‘These people honor me with their lips,but their hearts are far from me.⁹They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’

Of course, there is more detail to the story but it’s not worth getting into. I did learn though, not every one at church has the same heart; others have ulterior motives. I later learned that this women has a history of befriending new members and then abruptly ending the friendship; using the guise of friendship to help grow her direct sales business and then inexplicably moving on. (We all have our issues, no perfect people right?)

Needless to say, I was disappointed but we shouldn’t give up.

Hebrews 10:24-25 ²⁴And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Someone for everyone

I began attending women’s bible studies at our church, hoping I could find women in Christ to learn, grow and bond with.”Turning the other cheek,” on my past experiences and moving on. Through women’s bible stduy, I would fullfill the need for fellowship while growing in Christ-win-win, right? In my group their was a good mix of new believers and old but I couldn’t relate to the women personally (spiritually,yes) and it wasn’t the companionship I was seeking.

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise,for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Although, the knowledge was what I needed in my spiritual walk. After a year with the study group, I did find someone that was also seeking a group of women to fellowship with. We had similar personalities but in different seasons of life. God kept connecting us in various ways to fulfill our need for a friendship with a women in Christ. She wasn’t what I thought I was looking for but she was exactly what I needed.