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Breaking up with Busyness

Breaking up with busyness

September is National Self-Care month. Self-care is not about massages and manicures but about doing the things that help you operate at your best self. For me, that means breaking up with busyness. For the last several months, I have been busy with no results. The things that I invest time in has not brought fulfillment. The things that my busyness is taking away from is falling by the wayside. This month I decided to self-care I need to stop being busy and do the things that are going to bring fulfillment.

Psalm 62:1 (NIV) Truly, my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.

What I knew

I was taught, “idle hands are the devils’ playground.” It has stuck with me throughout my life. Still busying myself with a task, some meaningful and some meaningless.  Then, I became a mother and applied that to my children. Signing them up for classes, keeping their weekly calendar full with outings, play dates and activities.  Teaching them that they should always have something to do and not allowing them to have the time of rest or leisure. After rereading the story of Mary and Martha I came to an epiphanie- “I need to break up with busyness.”

Luke 10:41-42 (NIV) “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” 

For the first time in my adult life, I wanted to be a “Mary.” Previously, I took pride in the fact that I was an exceptional multitasker and exemplary at time management.  I realized slowing down and taking time to “be still” was an admirable trait.

Why is Busyness Applauded?

Many people are always on the go until they reach exhaustion.  Busyness is considered tremendous, and stillness is deemed to be lazy.  When we are still, we can hear God, be closer to Him, and use His guidance.

Mark 6:31-32 (NIV)
31 Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”32 So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

Are we valuing our relationships?

Being busy also keeps us from having meaningful relationships with others.  We are so wrapped up in the go-go; we aren’t fostering our communities and fellowship, which is very important.

Hebrews 10:24–25

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and ball the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Are we meaningful and present in our significant relationships, like our spouse or children? Are we filling our time and presence with stuff and activities? Is it worth the stress and isolation to be task-oriented?

Three Ways I plan to break up with Busyness

  1. Say “No” more. I often say, “yes” before even thinking of how it will add or take away value from my life.  I plan on saying, “Not Yet” and “No” more and see if the situation or task will take away from my life.
  2. Get over FOMO. I often say, “Yes” because I don’t want to miss out on anything. I have always been like that but I am starting to realize that I don’t have to be part of everything and that is okay. Age brings you the wisdom I guess.
  3. Knowing my Why.  If I stayed focused on the “why” I am doing something than “what” I am doing will either have more or less meaning. Being rooted in my “why” will help me discern of the things that are meant for me.

My “Aha” Moment

The story of Mary and Martha was an epiphany for me. I discovered I wanted to fellowship, devote more time to God and my family and friends.  Have a more meaningful and present relationship with the people in my life.  It gave me permission that I needed to slow down and reduce so that I could be more like Mary. When I am planning for my children now, it’s memorable experiences versus expertise in activities. I spend quality time in the Word, with my husband daily, my family, my dog and my stress level are low.  I am living the “Mary” lifestyle and enjoying the moments instead of calculating my time. So, the last part of the year I am going to be doing less and enjoying more. This life was not meant to cram as much as we can into every hour but to enjoy every hour that we have. That’s the plan let’s see if I stick with it.

Does busy equal important? Which would you prefer the “Mary” or “Martha” lifestyle?

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Understanding God’s Love

Psalm 127:3 (NIV) “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”

He Gives Us Real-Life Examples

Sometimes, I wonder does God give us children to understand His frustrations, unconditional love, empathy, and desire for more than we want for ourselves. I can remember my mother telling me, “I can’t wait till you have children of your own.” Of course, it wasn’t until I had children of my own; I could understand her perspective.

Reminders in the Word

When reading the word, I sometimes relate to motherhood. It is something that is a part of my identity and that I can easily relate and understand. For example, my children’s selective hearing. I will tell my daughter specific instructions, at which she will do something entirely different or my favorite, nothing at all. Then, it ends up messed up, and I either have to help her or tell her again. Then by “GODcidence”, I am reading Jonah how God told him to flee Ninevah.

[“Cliff Notes” version, although Jonah is a very short yet powerful chapter in the Bible] He does his own thing deliberately disobeying God and sets out for Tarshish (for those new to the story which is thousands of miles in a different direction). Jonah ends up in the belly of a big fish (aka whale). God the Father delivers Jonah and again tells his hard headed child to go to Ninevah and deliver a message.

Jonah 3:1-2 (NIV) “Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.”

As I am reading this, of course, I think “man Jonah sounds like my daughters’.” There is a difference, though; our God has so much more compassion and patience than I. He is slow to anger (which I am working/praying on).

More than I deserve

Jonah 4:2, 4-5 (NIV) 2 “He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.

4 But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”5 Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city.”

It even angered Jonah to think after all he had done God still provided. Even though Jonah had no right to be angry, God still provided Him shade from the sun. Just like when my twelve-year-old gets mad at me for doing what’s right for her but not the way she wanted me to. Doesn’t make me stop loving or caring for her. I am her mother, who still loves her and will always do anything to provide.I sometimes sit back thinking I am so undeserving of His grace. God reminds me of the grace and unconditional love through my girls. Comparing God’s love to a mother’s love is the only way I can make sense of His unwavering love.

None Like Him

Now, I know the story of Jonah is not about how to love your children, rather obey the Lord and to forgive everyone. Comparing it to my kids helps me gain perspective. (Since, coming back to my faith I have found several different applications of the story of Jonah.) There is no man that would give their Son for me much like how I would give up everything for my girls, (which “Godcidentally” God has given me them too). I am grateful for my Heavenly Father’s unconditional love and although sometimes I feel I am not worth it or don’t like how things are done. At the end of the day, He loves me for who I am, and that will never change.

What helps you understand God’s love?

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Living in or on purpose?

Kind of Choice

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

What I thought I wanted

Day in and day out, we are moving, are day and our lives by choices.  From the moment we wake up, till the moment we rest; Each day a set of new choices.  What do I wear? eat? Do I exercise? Stay in bed? Do I say this or that?   When I was living in the world,  my choices were impulsive. I was getting by day-to-day just trying to get through the day, moving ahead and living in purpose. I didn’t stop to take into account what I was doing till after it was done.  I could easily be influenced by outside circumstances and was going with the masses.  Looking back I was living a very meaningless life not making a true difference. Although, my intentions were to make a difference and I thought I was achieving. I wasn’t making true connections with anyone or thing.  When you live in purpose,you are just going through the motions; doing what is popular.  It wasn’t until I woke up and chose more for my life, a legacy for my daughter and a positive contribution to society.

Day to Day

What I really wanted

When I started living on purpose the mundane day-to-day became something more.  I am not going to lie it became difficult in all the right ways. I had to be more conscious in my actions, speech, dress. I had to think ahead and plan more and I had to place more direction and guidance in God.  Living by impulse is easy, living intentionally is hard; you might set out daily to tackle your to do list but that is not intentional. Tackling your to do list is just taking care of your daily task that need to be done.  How does that impact your salvation? How does that encourage others to consider their salvation? I thought I was positively  contributing to society but in all actuality I was serving myself.  Getting the things done to make me more comfortable to achieve my goals and to execute my plans.

Accepting I was wrong

When I found God it was self-serving at first, I was looking for a ways to ease my pain. Make my life better, fix my life but as I started to grow in Him I discovered that was not fulfilling. I wasn’t really content until I started spreading His word, shining His light was much more powerful, purposeful and that contribution to society that I was looking for.

Psalms 63:1 You God, are my God, earnestly I see you; I thirst you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.

I think the hardest part was realizing that my own desires and dreams weren’t getting me where I thought I wanted to be. It’s hard to think of others and not myself.  When I realized that His dreams far exceed anything that I could dream myself.

Different Choice

It’s better than you think

To live day-to-day thinking, how can I be a light while check off my to-do’s? Years ago, if someone would have said to me, “Leave all you know,dreams,aspirations and follow Jesus. It will be the most fulfilling thing you’ve ever done and you will still achieve all your dreams and more. I would have said, “Put down the purple kool-aid,” but I am here today to tell you, it’s true! (I don’t even like Kool-aid, so I am not sipping, I promise just sharing what I have found to be true.) It’s hard following, learning, being obedient, going against your nature but it’s the best thing that I have ever done.  My days are no longer mundane they are meaningful and rich. My dreams are not a struggle its just a different path and I am no longer living in purpose. I am living on purpose-this is the life I was meant (we were meant) to live.

Psalm 71:8 My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long.

Are you willing to make a sacrifice for Christ and take a leap of faith? If not, what is holding you back?

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Giving Glory not Seeking Attention

Road

1 John 2:15-17 (NIV) 15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

The Wrong Road to Success

When I was in the world, I constantly sought acceptance and recognition from others. Striving to keep up with the Jones’ to prove to others I was equal to them and their success.  Never measuring up to the constantly raising ceiling of status and fearing mediocrity.  Then, I accepted Jesus who unconditionally loved me whether I was poor or rich.  No matter my social status I was perfection in His eyes. My desire to possess things I couldn’t afford put my life and marriage under emotional and physical stress.  The more I focused on what I didn’t have the more anxious and depressed I became.  Then, I grew more in Jesus.  I realized that only He could create the wealth and comfort I sought. Only through Him what I yearned was easily possible.  Jesus fed thousands with only 5 loaves and 2 fishes; made wine out of water. He could surely help me pursue my dreams.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

crossroads

Finding My Way

All I had to do was connect with Him he was all the acceptance I need. All I had to do was glorify Him for all He has done, which should be easy since He has been the only one to actually do something for me by giving His life.  Then, I realized Jesus love for me. With His unfailing love my life and has been renewed.  I now am grateful for His sacrifice which has brought contentment and harmony to my life. I no longer have to prove to man I am worthy.  I have to praise Him for making me worthy.  I am now content with wherever I am in life because I know that no matter what I achieve or have on this earth, the best is yet to come. With that understandings brings a new awareness of how beautiful my life truly is and makes me want to be a light for Jesus. To show how God’s glory is shining through me.

Isaiah 55:12-13(NIV)12 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown,for an everlasting sign,that will endure forever.”

glory

Continuing on the right path

Now that I know this realization, I still struggle with staying focused on Christ. Old habits are hard to break and I still sometimes look at the greener grass on the other side of the fence. Although, I know that it is the same grass I am tempted to want it. I have to rely on Christ to keep me focused. I need him daily in my life to keep me from my own desires to want what others have. I try to find encouragement in the word. Being new to Christ I try to learn the word and am amazed at how that day’s devotion or a post I see on Social media is calling me back to where I need to be. I have asked mentors when will the struggle end and it won’t. “The struggle is real” but God’s grace is redeeming and without the struggle I don’t think that I would have the appreciation that I have.

Galatians 5:16 (NIV) 16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Is it hard to put your own pride aside and do for God? Do you seek guidance from God when setting to achieve goals? What do you do when you find yourself falling into old habits?

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My Need for Discernment

This Or That Way Directions On A Wooden SignpostAccording to the dictionary, discernment means “the quality of being able to grasp or comprehend what is obscure.” This is not a strong trait of mine.  That saying, “can’t you just take a hint?” NO! I am very black and white; concrete thinker. When it comes to picking up on clues that’s what I need God for.  I have to pray everyday for his help in this department, sometimes several times a day depending on the day that I am having.

B

Now we (and I am referring to saved Christians) know God leads we follow, whether we actually follow that is another blog post.  Some of us stumble along and others confidently go on our way.  He opens doors we graciously or reluctantly walk or bump into them. I wish there was always a clear cut path to take.  I struggle with this in parenting too. If we could just have a “how to” or instruction manual for each child and their particular personalities. Then I could confidently raise my girls and wear the badge as the “best mom ever”, couldn’t we all? I am the type of person who reads the instruction manual cover-to-cover before proceeding to tackle the complicated Ikea furniture. When I begin to struggle with discernment I go to the life instruction manual; Yes, I am referring to the Bible.

Proverbs 2:6-8 6 For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. 7 He holds success in store for the upright,he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, 8 for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.

shield

There it is was as if God had sprinkled glitter (of course in my favorite color) on the pages just for me to see. The words wisdom, knowledge, understanding, success, shield, guards, protects all stood out to me.  Now, when I need a magnify glass to grasp and comprehend the obscure. I call on knowledge and wisdom from God.  Sometimes I need understanding because although I think of myself very intellgient. Sometimes I just don’t get it.  When I care to much I may need a shield, guard and protecton of my heart.  No matter what it is or what I need it’s comforting to know God’s got me covered.He has provided me with the discernment to see the way and the decision or choice to be made.  Leading me while protecting me the entire way.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Do you think of discernment as something you choose to see or a natural gift?

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