Tag: christianity

Categories
christian mom christianity Faith Journey

Learning to Wait on God

Learning to Wait

When Mimi was a baby she signed, which is an excellent way to communicate her needs. Two of my daughters signed (my middle one refused). Our signing girls during infancy/toddlerhood whined less than my middle who refused.

When we woke up in the morning after our good morning kisses, my baby would sign “milk.” I usually reply “Wait” (in sign) at which she began to get anxious. Continually signing milk, waving her arms, kicking her feet. She knows it is coming, but she wants it NOW! Once she gets it, she is satisfied and content.

No Patience

Now, my baby is also a “healthy eater,” horrible sleeper, but more than makes up for it in food consumption. When she was younger she would sign “eat,” and I respond “wait” her reaction is entirely different than when she wants milk.

Mimi would proceed to fall out on the ground and have a tantrum. Crying, yelling, signing till I put her in the high chair and fed her.

waitingon-god

Waiting without God

Waiting without God and waiting with God. I have found similarities with my one-year old’s patience. When I first found Christ, I would wait without God. Praying for things and anxiously waiting for God to answer; similarly to my toddler when I tell her to wait. Sometimes, I would have a full out tantrum because things weren’t happening in my time or how I wanted them.

I can Help God Mentality

Then I progressed in my faith and became like my middle daughter, Lailah. When I tell her to wait for something, she’ll take it upon herself to do it on her own. Calling herself “helping” me out usually ending up in a spill, break or simply a mess. I have “helped’ out God quite a few times resulting in nothing that I wanted or a long messy drawn out way to it.

Waiting with God

As a believer and an adult. I wait differently than I did when I first came into my faith. I have found Scripture to guide me; yet, still, work in progress. I still need to work on my execution.

Similarly to my oldest daughter; when she asks me for something, and I say “wait.” She will wait for a while to come back to me and “remind” or ask me again.  Then, if I still haven’t done it, she will ask if she can help me and wait a little longer.  Thanking me once I execute my task because of our fourteen years together she has gained trust in me and knew that I would get to it when I can.

4 Ways Scriptures Shows us to Wait

Like my relationship with all my daughters; I have learned to wait with God as I have matured in my faith. As I have grown, I have found that I need several things for me to have patience, hope, and trust that the Lord will answer my prayers. I may not like the answer, but I will receive a reply nonetheless in due time.

1. Wait

When waiting with the Lord, you have to have trust and confidence that He will answer you as well as stay close by His side so that you are ready when it is time. (Kind of like my twelve years old)

Psalm 33:20-22 (NIV) 20 We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.21 In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. 22 May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you.

This verse to me is a proven process of what is needed to wait for the Lord.

2. Help

I look to God for his help in trouble instead of offering my “help.”

Psalm 46:1(NIV) God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.

3.  Rejoice

Instead of fretting; I rejoice no matter what. I am grateful to turn to and to help me in need. I just need to come to Him, be grateful to Him and wait for Him to take action.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

4.  Trust

Something that I learned and continued to grow in is trusting in the Lord.  How He does things because it’s usually different from my own but always so much better than anything that I could do for myself.

Proverbs 3:5 (NIV) 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

waiting

What helps you get through the waiting phase?

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
Categories
christianity Faith Journey faithfueled friday

Bible “phobia”

I received this Bible for free in exchange for a review as a BibleGateway Bible Grid Blogger. I have amazon affiliate links that I receive a commission from the sales, but all of my opinions are my own.  My Full Disclosure Policy 

2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV) For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline

Bible “Phobia” can be a real source of trepidation

I remember growing up reading the King James Version of the Bible and thinking it was the equivalent of Shakespeare. Eloquent words strung together that I couldn’t understand or follow; It was intimidating, to say the least. Then I grew up spiritually. I enjoyed listening to sermons, reading books about devotion and faith, but when it came to the Bible. I will have to admit it became intimidating and scary. I joined a Bible studies group and still owned that same KJV Bible I had been carrying with me since I left for college.

While in Bible Study people would read the verses clearly in a language I could understand. Say what?  I would try to follow along with my KJV still lost and confused. Until one day, I noted their version of the Bible and immediately sought the help of Amazon.com. Oh, the options, so many to choose from; deciding on an NIV (New International Version) for myself and NLT (New Living Translation) for my daughter. Since then, I have purchased an Amplified Bible, too (AMP) and have become a little Bible-obsessed.

Trying something new

After a few years with my NIV Bible, I finally purchased my favorite version thus far, (NASB) New American Standard Bible. I LOVE IT!! I’ve tried other Bible and keep coming back. I have to admit I purchased this Bible because of a Bible Teacher that I love and follow Kim Cash Tate said she uses it.  Now that I have my own, I understand. I love this translation and my specific Zondervan and all the extra information it provides.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV) All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

 

Finding what works Best

Before, I was afraid of not knowing enough or understanding the Bible. I didn’t have my favorite verse memorize or couldn’t pull a verse out of my head to comfort someone in need. My fear of the Bible kept a significant barrier between me genuinely knowing God.  I never participated in Bible-based conversations because I had no idea what they were saying. Once I started reading the Bible (in a version I could understand), I was fascinated with it. There are so many stories, heroic, scandalous, educational, motivational, directional stories. I think every topic you could think of is covered in the Bible. I began to use the Bible to answer my questions on faith, how I should go about situations, even on the type of marriage I wanted, and how to raise my children. It’s all in there waiting to be discovered and study.  Now I try to get into the word at least once a day, and I always have my Bible near (I downloaded the Bible app).

Psalm 119:130 The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.

What about a Bible for those who have more questions?

Recently, I received the NIV Study Quest Bible made by Zondervan.  It is the first Bible that has Questions and Answers throughout.  I was so excited to receive this new version and immediately began exploring the Bible.  This Bible “breaks-it-down” and is a great Bible for someone who has lots of questions or newly exploring studying the Word.  After seeing all the references and resources, I gifted it to my daughter.  She is at a point where she needs more substance in her walk with Christ, and I think this Bible is a fantastic source of more in-depth discussion about the Bible but intimidating like my NASB Study Bible.  I have been catching her studying more often. She told me she loves the questions and answers.  She said she usually has questions when reading the Word and its nice to know she is not the only one. The further explanation of passages and verses has allowed her to grow and become more in-depth in her study.  It’s a pretty cool Bible!

A little extra help is, okay!

A Bible Commentary is another way to gather more understanding of the Word. Whether its separate sources or included in your Bible notes. Bible Commentaries are a fantastic way to dissects verse by verse and bring more knowledge to the meaning. Some Bibles’ include the commentary, but you can buy a separate one too that usually goes into greater detail.

 

It tells you what was happening during that time the verse was written, information about the author, and some may even give you physical location reference points for a greater understanding. Don’t let your lack of knowledge keep you away from the Word. It is fundamental to growing your relationship with Christ and creating a deeper understanding of your faith. It’s the WHY and the HOW that you sometimes need.

We need the Truth from the Word

When I first came to Christ, no one took me under their wings and showed me these things or told me I could use a different version of the Bible. Not that I needed permission, but I did need guidance. I was looking for a mentoring program but never found one. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we had a Titus Women type mentorship in the Church? Many churches have it, but mine does not, I even asked and never was connected with anyone so I had to seek out mentors myself.  Online Bible Teachers became a great source. It’s not ideal but in this disconnected world. It’s nice to find a community somewhere even if it is virtual. In this modern world, we must use every tool necessary to get the Truth. There is salvation in the Word and so much to learn and grow you need to find a Bible the one that allows you to understand. I am grateful for apps like the Bible Gateway that has over 150 version right in the palm of your hand.  They also have the BibleGateway.com/plus, which is a membership that offers expanded Bible studies, resources, and more for those who are looking for more ways to connect in the Word.

Have you let your lack of knowledge or understanding keep you from the word?

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
Categories
Faith & Self Care Faith Journey Weightloss Journey

Progress in Action

When was the last time you admired yourself in the mirror? When have you showed your self love? Gazed in the mirror and saw God’s beautiful creation. I find that we use the mirror incorrectly. Instead of finding why we are special we are critiquing why we don’t live up to some fictionalized standard. It is so easy to get overly critical of our appearance, character, actions, and habits; Especially when we are not meeting our expectations of what we should.

self love

My Mirror Avoidance

Throughout my weight loss journey, my vanity and worldly views would steal my joy.  Looking back now that I am mental, spiritually and physically happy I realize this is a big problem for lots of people.  Hindsight is always crystal clear.  I would consider myself pretty confident, but I let the enemies whispers of self-hate and conditional love ring in my ear.  Believing these lies just didn’t feel right.

Psalms 139:14, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

self love

Has this always been?

I am the oldest of six children in a blended family; four girls and two boys. My mother was a great example of loving who you are for what you are. I always remember her encouraging us to love ourselves. Physically I have always been thin, physically active, overachiever who did not shy away from anything.

When I got pregnant with my first daughter, I gained 95 pounds; who knew eating for two was just an expression? (Not I) It took me a while, but I lost the weight and got back to myself. Then, I had my second daughter elated and educated I tried not to make the same mistakes. Eighty-five pounds later I got back on that horse again and worked off the weight. Next, was baby girl number 3; I was determined to gain the recommended weight, walked, ate right and I did a little better only a measly 75 pounds.

This time around getting back on that horse has not been a smooth ride. When I reached a year postpartum, I was still carrying that baby (weight), still exercising, eating right but to no results. So, like most overachievers for the and last year I have been working harder and beating myself up for only losing 5 pounds or whatever number.

1 Thessalonian 1:1 To this end also we pray for you always, that our God will count you worthy of your calling, and fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power

self love

Going back to bad habits
Then, I did the obvious but sometimes second nature to me. I have the bad habit of thinking I can solve problems on my own.  I prayed about it; it’s funny how I know I have no control yet, I still think I have some control. After praying daily for God’s guidance and strength, he answered almost immediately and led me to people who could help me, Scriptures that could encourage me, and a devotional that could guide me.  Just add the personal trainer to the list of the alpha and omega. It took me six months till I felt myself coming back.

Psalm 30:1-2 I will exalt you, Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me.2 Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.

 

Proverbs 16:3 (NIV) “Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.”

Getting over self made hangups

I think my biggest issue I have and am constantly needed reminders and refocus is asking God for help in everything. Remembering how much He loves me for who I am right now today and not who I will be in the future. He doesn’t stop loving me because of what I did in the past, what I look like today. Even the small insignificant things that I feel wouldn’t matter to Him I must come to Him. If they matter to me, they matter to Him, and I should seek Him in all things. Once I got over my insecurities, relied on God’s strength and had faith in His sovereignty; my life became better, my mind got better, my insecurities dissipate, and I now can shine His light to others who felt as I once did. I now want to invite the love of Jesus to others and share the gift of self-love that He has given me.

What do you see in your mirror’s reflection? How can God help you know what you are looking?

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
Categories
Faith Journey faithfueled friday Family

Understanding God’s Love

Psalm 127:3 (NIV) “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”

He Gives Us Real-Life Examples

Sometimes, I wonder does God give us children to understand His frustrations, unconditional love, empathy, and desire for more than we want for ourselves. I can remember my mother telling me, “I can’t wait till you have children of your own.” Of course, it wasn’t until I had children of my own; I could understand her perspective.

Reminders in the Word

When reading the word, I sometimes relate to motherhood. It is something that is a part of my identity and that I can easily relate and understand. For example, my children’s selective hearing. I will tell my daughter specific instructions, at which she will do something entirely different or my favorite, nothing at all. Then, it ends up messed up, and I either have to help her or tell her again. Then by “GODcidence”, I am reading Jonah how God told him to flee Ninevah.

[“Cliff Notes” version, although Jonah is a very short yet powerful chapter in the Bible] He does his own thing deliberately disobeying God and sets out for Tarshish (for those new to the story which is thousands of miles in a different direction). Jonah ends up in the belly of a big fish (aka whale). God the Father delivers Jonah and again tells his hard headed child to go to Ninevah and deliver a message.

Jonah 3:1-2 (NIV) “Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.”

As I am reading this, of course, I think “man Jonah sounds like my daughters’.” There is a difference, though; our God has so much more compassion and patience than I. He is slow to anger (which I am working/praying on).

More than I deserve

Jonah 4:2, 4-5 (NIV) 2 “He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.

4 But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”5 Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city.”

It even angered Jonah to think after all he had done God still provided. Even though Jonah had no right to be angry, God still provided Him shade from the sun. Just like when my twelve-year-old gets mad at me for doing what’s right for her but not the way she wanted me to. Doesn’t make me stop loving or caring for her. I am her mother, who still loves her and will always do anything to provide.I sometimes sit back thinking I am so undeserving of His grace. God reminds me of the grace and unconditional love through my girls. Comparing God’s love to a mother’s love is the only way I can make sense of His unwavering love.

None Like Him

Now, I know the story of Jonah is not about how to love your children, rather obey the Lord and to forgive everyone. Comparing it to my kids helps me gain perspective. (Since, coming back to my faith I have found several different applications of the story of Jonah.) There is no man that would give their Son for me much like how I would give up everything for my girls, (which “Godcidentally” God has given me them too). I am grateful for my Heavenly Father’s unconditional love and although sometimes I feel I am not worth it or don’t like how things are done. At the end of the day, He loves me for who I am, and that will never change.

What helps you understand God’s love?

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
Categories
christian mom christianity Faith & Self Care Faith Journey Weightloss Journey

Dressing the New Me

I remember when….. always dates you when you start off something like that, but I do; I remember when I was a self-proclaimed fashionista. I don’t know if I was stylish, but had a sense of style, and then I became a Mom. With each lil diva, I fell into a different sense of style.  It happens, you change, your lifestyle changes, your body changes and so does your wardrobe.

 

Getting Summer Ready

So, here I am looking at the summer fashions thinking I am finally smaller its what I have worked for; right? I’m going to go to the store grab an Easter dress and a few things that don’t come in Small, Medium or Large or my personal favorite One Size Fits all (which anyone who has been bigger girls it should be One Size Fits Most). You know the clothes you just pick your favorite color and put it on. The “oh so forgiving” stretchy material and go about your day.  Well, here I am again shopping for the summer season while currently in a new life season.

Misperceived “Small” Section

Although, last year when I was hoping to be thinner to shop in the “smaller” girl section this year it’s just overwhelming and I have no clue where to begin. I thought shopping for a smaller body in the smaller section with the old perception that the smaller clothes are better but guess what? Nope, there is not a new sense of satisfaction with the smaller section.

Mama was right, “I hate that!”

The fitting room mirrors are the same in the smaller sections as they are in the plus size section. Unforgiving, unflattering and self-esteem were demoting. So, does that mean that they reflection in the mirror doesn’t depend on a size but depends on a person in the clothes? Didn’t our Mama say that to us maybe once or twice before, I hate it when my Mama is right. In this case, though I wish she were wrong I wish that my outside reflection would silence my inner thoughts.

1 Peter 4:12 12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.

Anxiety Robs Your Joy

I was diagnosed with anxietybdisorder when she was 25 I understand the demon that can turn good intentions into mental breakdowns. Anxiety disorder looks different on everyone and is handled differently by everyone. As of lately, my anxiety has been at all time high. I have a lot of things going on in this season of my life. I have also realized that although my faith has grown in many areas of my life trust, dependence, and reliance. Anxiety is where I allow the enemy to get to me. Especially, lately since recommitting myself to Christ until January.

I hadn’t had a panic attack in years (probably 3 or 4) and the in January before taking my NASM Certification I had a full out, time stopping panic attack before I left to take my test. It’s been a long while like I said since that has happened and I had forgotten how debilitation they can be it took days to get back to my positive mindset and ever since I have, to be honest, I have had a fear of my old friend anxiety creeping back in.

Growing through Disorder

I received two reminders; one, I realize how far I had grown in Christ because my instant reaction was unceasing prayers until the overwhelming feelings of fear, uncertainty, inadequacy and tears lots of tears went away. Second, it was a wake-up call on how I need to cling to God and get closer to Him.  The snooze button has been shortening my time more and more in the morning with God, and my life has continued to go nonstop meaning I probably should be waking up earlier instead of later to give me the peace, clarity, and direction I feel I receive from my morning studies.

John 10:10 (ESV) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Getting back to my Basic Needs

I am in the homestretch of finishing my associates in Fitness and Exercise Science. I have decided to continue to get a Bachelor’s Degree in the field. I am still training to compete in an NPC Figure Division Competiton in October. I will am teaching a few group fitness classes in the next few weeks, launched my soul project (I do believe it will change women’s lives) Bibles and Bootcamps and I am a mother of a 13,9 and two-year-old and wife of a teacher, basketball coach, and entrepreneur.

Let’s just say my anxious moments are more frequent and my time is more limited which is probably why something fun and exciting as clothes shopping is bringing overwhelming anxious feeling; because that’s what anxiety does, takes something meant to be harmless and makes it so much more. I was reminded that prioritizing my time with God is essential these days.)

 Finding Peace in Jesus

No matter what I put on if I don’t have peace on the inside then it is all meaningless.

That shopping trip was so discouraging. I got my Easter dress and decided to try again later. I spoke with a friend who encouraged me to give it another try to see myself through Jesus’ eyes. To find the joy in shopping again, trying on different options, having things fit. Now, I don’t believe I found a special pair of “Jesus glasses” the next time as I looked in the mirror but I do know that a different perspective some time with the Father and I found the joy in shopping again much to my husband’s dismay.

Colossians 1:10 “so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.

Victory in the Fitting Room

I haven’t worn shorts in about three years; well guess what? I got two pairs. I usually buy very flowy tops because flowy hides muffin tops and is what I was used to and became accustomed to with the forgiveness of leggings and the miracle of compression I didn’t realize that I no longer have a muffin top to cover with flowy tanks. When you wear a uniform of workout gear or over sized shirts and leggings, it’s easy not to notice these things.

My anxiety has been a catalyst as well as a hindrance in the past decade of my life. But as I sit in the fitting room staring at the reflection of a girl who worked hard to get to the small section and realizing that the tag number doesn’t matter. Despite my size, if I don’t turn to Jesus to resolve my problematic thoughts I will never have peace.Regardless, of what I look like on the outside. My point is no matter the size you are now enjoying all the victories and don’t let the enemy steal joy from you that you deserve.

What mental roadblock have you had to overcome? What did you do differently to address them?

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares