Tag: comfort for moms

Understanding God’s Love

Psalm 127:3 (NIV) “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”

He Gives Us Real-Life Examples

Sometimes, I wonder does God give us children to understand His frustrations, unconditional love, empathy, and desire for more than we want for ourselves. I can remember my mother telling me, “I can’t wait till you have children of your own.” Of course, it wasn’t until I had children of my own; I could understand her perspective.

Reminders in the Word

When reading the word, I sometimes relate to motherhood. It is something that is a part of my identity and that I can easily relate and understand. For example, my children’s selective hearing. I will tell my daughter specific instructions, at which she will do something entirely different or my favorite, nothing at all. Then, it ends up messed up, and I either have to help her or tell her again. Then by “GODcidence”, I am reading Jonah how God told him to flee Ninevah.

[“Cliff Notes” version, although Jonah is a very short yet powerful chapter in the Bible] He does his own thing deliberately disobeying God and sets out for Tarshish (for those new to the story which is thousands of miles in a different direction). Jonah ends up in the belly of a big fish (aka whale). God the Father delivers Jonah and again tells his hard headed child to go to Ninevah and deliver a message.

Jonah 3:1-2 (NIV) “Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.”

As I am reading this, of course, I think “man Jonah sounds like my daughters’.” There is a difference, though; our God has so much more compassion and patience than I. He is slow to anger (which I am working/praying on).

More than I deserve

Jonah 4:2, 4-5 (NIV) 2 “He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.

4 But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”5 Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city.”

It even angered Jonah to think after all he had done God still provided. Even though Jonah had no right to be angry, God still provided Him shade from the sun. Just like when my twelve-year-old gets mad at me for doing what’s right for her but not the way she wanted me to. Doesn’t make me stop loving or caring for her. I am her mother, who still loves her and will always do anything to provide.I sometimes sit back thinking I am so undeserving of His grace. God reminds me of the grace and unconditional love through my girls. Comparing God’s love to a mother’s love is the only way I can make sense of His unwavering love.

None Like Him

Now, I know the story of Jonah is not about how to love your children, rather obey the Lord and to forgive everyone. Comparing it to my kids helps me gain perspective. (Since, coming back to my faith I have found several different applications of the story of Jonah.) There is no man that would give their Son for me much like how I would give up everything for my girls, (which “Godcidentally” God has given me them too). I am grateful for my Heavenly Father’s unconditional love and although sometimes I feel I am not worth it or don’t like how things are done. At the end of the day, He loves me for who I am, and that will never change.

What helps you understand God’s love?

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Meant to be together

I don’t think I realized my need for a community or friends until I left college. When you’re in a social setting that surrounds you with opportunities to create friendships, it’s easy. Then I got married, had a baby, and moved six hours away from my friends, family and the life I had made. I went through seasons of life in a flash. We lived in Massachusetts and my husband was following his career aspirations and worked long hours. I stayed at home with our newborn daughter and although I wasn’t alone I felt very much alone. It took years to make friends, which were just mom friends of children that my daughter grew up with. There were a few lasting bonds as our children grew older but nothing like my good ole college days.

A change of heart

Six years later, we moved back to my hometown and I reconnected with old friends from high school. Then, I began to follow Christ and suddenly my love affair with the Lord began to come between my friendship. As I became more acquainted with Christ the people I chose to spend my time with weren’t those old high school buddies.

1 Corinthians 15:33 ³³Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

I needed to be with people who had similar interests and beliefs and had more to offer me than a high bill at the bar during happy hour. I needed people who believed in what I believed, Jesus. Again, that yearning for companionship began and I started to look at the only place I knew, church.

Being new to Christ, I was amazed at how hard it was to find people who I could connect with beyond the pleasantries of chit chat at church. I finally thought I had connected with another mother of three children who ages were the same as mine. It was great to have someone to relate to on multiple levels. I confided in her struggles and suddenly she severed ties. I am still not sure why and it is very awkward at church; I could have questioned myself, what I say? Did I do something?

There are no perfect people: Especially Christian church goers

Matthew 15:8-9 “‘These people honor me with their lips,but their hearts are far from me.⁹They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’

Of course, there is more detail to the story but it’s not worth getting into. I did learn though, not every one at church has the same heart; others have ulterior motives. I later learned that this women has a history of befriending new members and then abruptly ending the friendship; using the guise of friendship to help grow her direct sales business and then inexplicably moving on. (We all have our issues, no perfect people right?)

Needless to say, I was disappointed but we shouldn’t give up.

Hebrews 10:24-25 ²⁴And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Someone for everyone

I began attending women’s bible studies at our church, hoping I could find women in Christ to learn, grow and bond with.”Turning the other cheek,” on my past experiences and moving on. Through women’s bible stduy, I would fullfill the need for fellowship while growing in Christ-win-win, right? In my group their was a good mix of new believers and old but I couldn’t relate to the women personally (spiritually,yes) and it wasn’t the companionship I was seeking.

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise,for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Although, the knowledge was what I needed in my spiritual walk. After a year with the study group, I did find someone that was also seeking a group of women to fellowship with. We had similar personalities but in different seasons of life. God kept connecting us in various ways to fulfill our need for a friendship with a women in Christ. She wasn’t what I thought I was looking for but she was exactly what I needed.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 ¹¹Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,just as in fact you are doing

Do you think it is important to have Christian friends or it doesn’t matter what they believe? Is it hard for you too to find Christian friends?

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Giving Glory not Seeking Attention

Post author By De
Post date July 21, 2015
2 Comments on Giving Glory not Seeking Attention

1 John 2:15-17 (NIV) ¹⁵Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. ¹⁶For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. ¹⁷The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

The Wrong Road to Success

When I was in the world, I constantly sought acceptance and recognition from others. Striving to keep up with the Jones’ to prove to others I was equal to them and their success. Never measuring up to the constantly raising ceiling of status and fearing mediocrity. Then, I accepted Jesus who unconditionally loved me whether I was poor or rich. No matter my social status I was perfection in His eyes. My desire to possess things I couldn’t afford put my life and marriage under emotional and physical stress. The more I focused on what I didn’t have the more anxious and depressed I became. Then, I grew more in Jesus. I realized that only He could create the wealth and comfort I sought. Only through Him what I yearned was easily possible. Jesus fed thousands with only 5 loaves and 2 fishes; made wine out of water. He could surely help me pursue my dreams.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) ²⁸“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Finding My Way

All I had to do was connect with Him he was all the acceptance I need. All I had to do was glorify Him for all He has done, which should be easy since He has been the only one to actually do something for me by giving His life. Then, I realized Jesus love for me. With His unfailing love my life and has been renewed. I now am grateful for His sacrifice which has brought contentment and harmony to my life. I no longer have to prove to man I am worthy. I have to praise Him for making me worthy. I am now content with wherever I am in life because I know that no matter what I achieve or have on this earth, the best is yet to come. With that understandings brings a new awareness of how beautiful my life truly is and makes me want to be a light for Jesus. To show how God’s glory is shining through me.

Isaiah 55:12-13(NIV)¹²You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.¹³Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown,for an everlasting sign,that will endure forever.”

Continuing on the right path

Now that I know this realization, I still struggle with staying focused on Christ. Old habits are hard to break and I still sometimes look at the greener grass on the other side of the fence. Although, I know that it is the same grass I am tempted to want it. I have to rely on Christ to keep me focused. I need him daily in my life to keep me from my own desires to want what others have. I try to find encouragement in the word. Being new to Christ I try to learn the word and am amazed at how that day’s devotion or a post I see on Social media is calling me back to where I need to be. I have asked mentors when will the struggle end and it won’t. “The struggle is real” but God’s grace is redeeming and without the struggle I don’t think that I would have the appreciation that I have.

Galatians 5:16 (NIV) ¹⁶So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Is it hard to put your own pride aside and do for God? Do you seek guidance from God when setting to achieve goals? What do you do when you find yourself falling into old habits?

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Modesty doesn’t define faith

Post author By De
Post date July 7, 2015
4 Comments on Modesty doesn’t define faith

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.” Matthew 5:13

This is typically not the Bible verse used when discussing the way Christian women should dress. I think that since we are representing ourselves within society that it could appropriately be considered as part of what God calls us to do. He appointed us to be the means of preventing or curing the growth of that corruption which prevails in the world, and of seasoning people’s minds with wisdom and grace.* Typically, when discussing the way women should dress;
1 Timothy 2:9-10 (NIV) ⁹I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, ¹⁰but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

I could go on and on about how literal some people take this verse without doing their research. Paul the apostle, had no problem with jewelry or dressing nicely. He was referring to women dressing like the non believing women of his time and how they dressed, more specifically Roman women of the time.

I grew up in a very legalistic religion that had a doctrine for all the different facets of life. It took this verse by verbatim to define the way women should dress. When I became a young adult I left my faith for a variety of reasons. As a rebellion my modesty was one of the first identities of the world that I adorned. I got my ears pierced and would wear obnoxiously large Cubic Zirconia that sparkled from miles away. Plastered my face with way to much makeup (one thing was because I could; The other, I did not know how to properly apply it.) I bought midriff, form fitting, low cut tops; (that was the criteria: must be form fitting, low cut, midriffs.) Way to short, shorts and skirts. Now that I have been born again, I have a yearning to represent Christ. A struggle I have is finding a suitable definition of modesty.

1 Corinthians 12:23 (NIV) and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,

I was raised that to be modest you need to be covered from your neck to your ankle, preferably in a skirt; (definitely when attending church) but not required. Makeup, jewelry, and fancy hairstyles were not acceptable or appropriate. That lead me to do research of a new definition of modesty. In the last week, I have read conservative to liberal Christian perspectives. Observing other Christians, people in my church and leaders as well as celebrity public Christian personalities. Then, I had a conversation with a sister in Christ on the issue of bathing suits at the beach, which led me to this post. After reading some strong opinions and fear based views. I turned to the source the Bible and Bible commentaries. I have a definition of what my family and I will teach my three daughters as being modest or representing Christ.

Godly women can be fashionable and attractive and I don’t mean sexually attractive. I mean the dictionaries definition of having beneficial qualities or features that induce someone to accept what is being offered. What is being offered in our case is the truth of Christ. This doesn’t mean that we should be dress for other peoples approval. That we are not sloppy or frumpy and take care of our appearance. I do believe modesty is something which families need to take a very close, careful, prayerful look at for themselves. Then determine to be a woman after God’s own heart and what that would outwardly look like to represent their inward beliefs. “Your clothing should be tight enough to show that you’re a woman, but loose enough to show that you’re a lady!”

Even if you dress the part doesn’t mean that you have a corner on truth. It’s possible to have a modest outward appearance while having the immodest heart of (critical, self-righteous, and judgmental towards those who do not see things the way you do).

1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV) Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

Showing grace to everyone no matter what they appear to look like. Whether, you are wearing tank tops, shorts, skirts, dresses, and a bathing suit. Yes, my daughter wear bathing suits, to the pool or beach, I just don’t feel a bikini is essential to them becoming faster swimmers. Respect your body, your family and most important honor God in all that you do including what you wear.

Do you feel that modesty has an effect on your faith?

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“Fear Based” vs. Grace Based” Parenting

Post author By De
Post date April 12, 2015
1 Comment on “Fear Based” vs. Grace Based” Parenting

Now that I look back I feel that my parents did the best that they could. A lot of their parenting were to create fear so that I would not have to endure some of the hardships they experienced due to their own mistakes. As parents we want our children to better than us and try to lead them in the right direction.

We love our children so much and we don’t want them to succumb to the world so we do the best we can to keep them away. We teach our children John 3:16 NLT “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. Sometimes being interpreted as we have follow Jesus not the world and those who do are bad or evil. We often forget about John 3:17 NLTGod sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

Fear and judgement is pervasive and condemning and does not create an attitude of love. My understanding is that we are to be disciples and follow God’s way which is loving, graceful and inclusive not exclusivity and discriminant.

We are surrounded by the lost and as Christians we are here to be a light for God. You can’t be a light for someone else if you are to busy putting out there light to let your own shine; by condemning or judging their behavior, conduct or appearance. Even if there actions are offensive we should be graceful. Rather than looking at what we don’t like or want for our family maybe we should see how we can teach or grow from these situations or circumstances. Maybe we can to teach our children how to be disciples of Christ to that “bad influence” instead of the “steer clear” attitude.The only way that we can do that for our children is to be that example.

Our job is to teach our children to love God and love others. We have to remember Mark 12:30-31 NLT ³⁰And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. ³¹The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Showing our incredible love for God that overflows to our incredible love for other people. We can teach our children how to be good disciples.

“Grace Based Parenting” it is defined as treating your kids as God’s treat His-with grace. There is a fine balance between teaching them to Fear the world and using legalistic standards of parenting; and total abandonment of the foundation of God by becoming so accepting that you do not create a environment for your children that sets a standard of how to live. Every situation needs checks and balances.

Think of what John 1:14 (NLT) ¹⁴So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness.And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son. You must have grace but still stick to God’s truth. They go hand in hand. By being a walking reflection of God’s love will condition your children to act within those limits. Without feeling that by falling short of His grace that the love is conditional on living beyond a level that is attainable.

Try to remember to be graceful with your love because if it wasn’t for God’s grace we would be in trouble. With all the dumb things as adults that we do and the fact that He still loves us. We can cut our children a little slack and strive to be just as graceful. Yes, teach your children about the Bible; set a acceptable living standard but reinforce it with grace.

I would define the difference of a “Grace Based” Christian Family as a family that shows God’s heart,a kind family, generous family, shows kindness and love in all that they do, they serve others, most importantly they are humble. The “grace based” Christian family is a loving family that loves and cares for others no matter what or how they live, they care about others and wants the best for others, they improve others quality of living by focusing upwards and outwards versus inward.

I would define “fear based” Christian family of fearing or being “sin managers”; by making sure that sin stays away from your family. Versus living and growing from situations where we innately fall into sin. If we strive to have Jesus loves for others, be merciful, gentle, and not fault others when they struggle through temptations, nonjudgmental.

Remembering Christ loves ALL no matter their disappointments, short givings.There is victory in Jesus who is the only way that we will overcome sin and grow and learn. When correcting your children do it through love.