Tag: chrisitan parenting

Understanding God’s Love

Psalm 127:3 (NIV) “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”

He Gives Us Real-Life Examples

Sometimes, I wonder does God give us children to understand His frustrations, unconditional love, empathy, and desire for more than we want for ourselves. I can remember my mother telling me, “I can’t wait till you have children of your own.” Of course, it wasn’t until I had children of my own; I could understand her perspective.

Reminders in the Word

When reading the word, I sometimes relate to motherhood. It is something that is a part of my identity and that I can easily relate and understand. For example, my children’s selective hearing. I will tell my daughter specific instructions, at which she will do something entirely different or my favorite, nothing at all. Then, it ends up messed up, and I either have to help her or tell her again. Then by “GODcidence”, I am reading Jonah how God told him to flee Ninevah.

[“Cliff Notes” version, although Jonah is a very short yet powerful chapter in the Bible] He does his own thing deliberately disobeying God and sets out for Tarshish (for those new to the story which is thousands of miles in a different direction). Jonah ends up in the belly of a big fish (aka whale). God the Father delivers Jonah and again tells his hard headed child to go to Ninevah and deliver a message.

Jonah 3:1-2 (NIV) “Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.”

As I am reading this, of course, I think “man Jonah sounds like my daughters’.” There is a difference, though; our God has so much more compassion and patience than I. He is slow to anger (which I am working/praying on).

More than I deserve

Jonah 4:2, 4-5 (NIV) 2 “He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.

4 But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”5 Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city.”

It even angered Jonah to think after all he had done God still provided. Even though Jonah had no right to be angry, God still provided Him shade from the sun. Just like when my twelve-year-old gets mad at me for doing what’s right for her but not the way she wanted me to. Doesn’t make me stop loving or caring for her. I am her mother, who still loves her and will always do anything to provide.I sometimes sit back thinking I am so undeserving of His grace. God reminds me of the grace and unconditional love through my girls. Comparing God’s love to a mother’s love is the only way I can make sense of His unwavering love.

None Like Him

Now, I know the story of Jonah is not about how to love your children, rather obey the Lord and to forgive everyone. Comparing it to my kids helps me gain perspective. (Since, coming back to my faith I have found several different applications of the story of Jonah.) There is no man that would give their Son for me much like how I would give up everything for my girls, (which “Godcidentally” God has given me them too). I am grateful for my Heavenly Father’s unconditional love and although sometimes I feel I am not worth it or don’t like how things are done. At the end of the day, He loves me for who I am, and that will never change.

What helps you understand God’s love?

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Raised in the Church not Christ

Post author By De
Post date September 3, 2015
5 Comments on Raised in the Church not Christ

Colossians 2:20-23 (NIV) 20 Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules:21“Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”?22 These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings.23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

Raised in the Church

The legalistic church I grew up in focused on rules; You had to do this, dress like this,eat this, say this to get into the kingdom of heaven. For a rebellious teen and young adult this was something I had no interest in. It wasn’t until I became an adult started studying Gods word that I realized Jesus didn’t care about the rules. The rules were meant for people to follow to control them. Jesus cares about the inside your heart and where you faith lies by following man made rules; keeps you focused on the outside and doesn’t allow you to grow on the inside.

Playing the Part

Matthew 23:5a (NIV) “Everything they do is done for people to see:

Some people like me inherit their faith; born into their faith but not something that they have chosen for themselves. You grow up learning how to act like a Christian, talk like a Christian and you are honoring your heritage. You are learning how to play the part but never surrendering your heart to Jesus and falling in love. Then, there are those who learn how to be a Christian. They can recall scripture, dress modestly, know the prayers and how to pray. They are simply going through the motions never really committed but just keeping up appearances. Either way, whether they are inheritance or reluctant participants of Christianity; they are just following the rules and not truly serving God.

Hypocrisy in the church

Just because you call yourself a Christian doesn’t mean you are a follower of Christ. Hypocrites, yes I said it, hypocrites is probably one of the reasons I left my faith when I was a young adult. I was apart of a startling statistic about Christian youth; 69-94% of Christian children raised in the faith leave the faith within 2 years after high school. The number one reason those young adults leave is due to “hypocrisy”. When I was growing up I was apart of the “drug problem” that families who pass on the legacy of Christianity subject their children to. I was “drug” to church every week to dress up and show up but never having that same experience at home through study or prayer. My family was Monday-Friday sinners and weekend Christians. When it came to having my own freedom to choose I chose the world and not to my faith.

Raised in Christ

Matthew 23:3b But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach.

Now, that I have found my way back to Christ and am in love. I am making a conscious effort not to repeat the cycle with my children. I am trying to teach them to have the armor of God and learn and know the truth for themselves; so that they may not be led astray. I want to teach them to show grace to others just as Jesus shows us grace everyday. I want them to see that I have a relationship with God and not just going through the motions. Now when you are in love, everyone knows it. Not only is it written all over your face, your acts but it’s all that you can talk about. Children are very observant and they pick up quick. The easiest way to see if you’re expressing your love is to ask your children;They will tell you right away.

We as Christian parents, must encompass being a Christian as an identity something that cannot be separated from us. Not a character we play at Church but a person we are day in and day out our identity. We have bad days as parents and as people and that is when I express God’s unconditional love. I show them how prayer can help you in times of stress, forgiveness, as well as, times to rejoice and praise. I am determined to give my girls the tools they need so that they do no become a statistic.

As we live our lives as Christian parents are we showing our love for God?

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Tags chrisitan parenting, Christ, Christian, Christian Family, church, faith, hypocrisy, Jesus Christ, rules

Battle of Motherhood christian mom christianity Faith Journey Family

Modesty doesn’t define faith

Post author By De
Post date July 7, 2015
4 Comments on Modesty doesn’t define faith

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.” Matthew 5:13

This is typically not the Bible verse used when discussing the way Christian women should dress. I think that since we are representing ourselves within society that it could appropriately be considered as part of what God calls us to do. He appointed us to be the means of preventing or curing the growth of that corruption which prevails in the world, and of seasoning people’s minds with wisdom and grace.* Typically, when discussing the way women should dress;
1 Timothy 2:9-10 (NIV) ⁹I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, ¹⁰but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

I could go on and on about how literal some people take this verse without doing their research. Paul the apostle, had no problem with jewelry or dressing nicely. He was referring to women dressing like the non believing women of his time and how they dressed, more specifically Roman women of the time.

I grew up in a very legalistic religion that had a doctrine for all the different facets of life. It took this verse by verbatim to define the way women should dress. When I became a young adult I left my faith for a variety of reasons. As a rebellion my modesty was one of the first identities of the world that I adorned. I got my ears pierced and would wear obnoxiously large Cubic Zirconia that sparkled from miles away. Plastered my face with way to much makeup (one thing was because I could; The other, I did not know how to properly apply it.) I bought midriff, form fitting, low cut tops; (that was the criteria: must be form fitting, low cut, midriffs.) Way to short, shorts and skirts. Now that I have been born again, I have a yearning to represent Christ. A struggle I have is finding a suitable definition of modesty.

1 Corinthians 12:23 (NIV) and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,

I was raised that to be modest you need to be covered from your neck to your ankle, preferably in a skirt; (definitely when attending church) but not required. Makeup, jewelry, and fancy hairstyles were not acceptable or appropriate. That lead me to do research of a new definition of modesty. In the last week, I have read conservative to liberal Christian perspectives. Observing other Christians, people in my church and leaders as well as celebrity public Christian personalities. Then, I had a conversation with a sister in Christ on the issue of bathing suits at the beach, which led me to this post. After reading some strong opinions and fear based views. I turned to the source the Bible and Bible commentaries. I have a definition of what my family and I will teach my three daughters as being modest or representing Christ.

Godly women can be fashionable and attractive and I don’t mean sexually attractive. I mean the dictionaries definition of having beneficial qualities or features that induce someone to accept what is being offered. What is being offered in our case is the truth of Christ. This doesn’t mean that we should be dress for other peoples approval. That we are not sloppy or frumpy and take care of our appearance. I do believe modesty is something which families need to take a very close, careful, prayerful look at for themselves. Then determine to be a woman after God’s own heart and what that would outwardly look like to represent their inward beliefs. “Your clothing should be tight enough to show that you’re a woman, but loose enough to show that you’re a lady!”

Even if you dress the part doesn’t mean that you have a corner on truth. It’s possible to have a modest outward appearance while having the immodest heart of (critical, self-righteous, and judgmental towards those who do not see things the way you do).

1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV) Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

Showing grace to everyone no matter what they appear to look like. Whether, you are wearing tank tops, shorts, skirts, dresses, and a bathing suit. Yes, my daughter wear bathing suits, to the pool or beach, I just don’t feel a bikini is essential to them becoming faster swimmers. Respect your body, your family and most important honor God in all that you do including what you wear.

Do you feel that modesty has an effect on your faith?

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Birth of a Calling

Proverbs 16:9 In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.

Eighteen months ago a baby was born; Faith fueled Mom. God had put this on my heart a few months before my third daughter was born. We will be celebrating her first birthday on Friday, July 3rd. Being the Mompreneur for 10 years prior, when I received the idea for FFM I had instantly decided that it could be a new business venture. (Haha can you hear God laughing?) I quickly drew up the business plan, pieced together a logo, created a make shift website and BAM! I would add this to my plate too.

Then, I actually became a mother for the third time and unexpectedly my life changed. Unlike, with my other daughters this time I resisted this life change. At the time, I was building my “empire”. Working towards following my dream to own a multi-million dollar business. I was going to strap this baby girl on and keep moving forward, fast and furious. I had planned to be a mom, a wife, pursue my dreams, and work on FaithFueled Mom on the side. If anyone could do it it would be me because “I am Superwoman!” God had other plans.

For months, I continued to busy myself getting busy. Just a hamster in a wheel consulting with God in times of great despair and/or during hardships, setbacks but never to lead my footsteps. Psalm 119:133 Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.

One day, I began to pray for my business, in addition to my normal prayer but this time for God’s guidance and provisions. Well you know that saying, “be careful what you pray for?” God answered mine and I didn’t like the response.

Road blocks went up in my business. I am not one who gives up so I prayed harder. I was called again but I still wasn’t ready to give up my plans. I acted as if i didn’t hear what direction I was told to take. More things started to go wrong with my business.

I began to pray more and specifically for God’s guidance. Again, very clearly stated I was called. God told me (not asked) to put my business on hold and to “be still!” Then there were confirmations that from unlikely sources. Again, I played deaf; kind of like a child with selective hearing.

Now there is nothing wrong with being a mom. It is so much harder than being a kind-of-present work at home mom; but I thought I had mastered that role. It was time for me to pursue other dreams. Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.

I continued to do just that as if I didn’t hear God’s calling. He began to strip more away till the writing was on the wall. Evidently clear with bright neon glitter paint (because as I have said before that is the only way to get my attention). Reluctantly, I put everything on hold and I began to “be still”.
Psalm 46:10 Be still for I am God.

I dove head first into study of the word. I felt if I couldn’t devote to my business I would devote to God. (Maybe that would make Him happy and give me my business back; Again, do you hear him laughing?) Every study I did was a little piece of the puzzle. Yet, I didn’t have a box to see what the picture was I was putting together. In the back of my mind I knew I was still playing hard to get.

My studies led me to Divine Interruption, Being a Disciple, I attended Beth Moore’s Living Proof Conference. Everything that I did my heart screamed “put your business on hold be present for your girls.” Then, I signed up for a Online Bible Study and it led me to finally surrender.

During Online Bible Study and week after week; were more confirmations. More pieces to my map to follow. God’s guidance was clearly stated. Then, I read “We must choose to leave first. We must see by faith the rewards ahead and then move forward.”

This time when neon glitter paint was presented I had no choice but to be obedient and submit.
I first spoke with my husband literally in overwhelming tears, who confirmed my step. I prayed about it and confirmed my steps. I spoke to my sisters in Christ they confirmed my steps and so I began. I am pretty headstrong when it comes to something I want or in this case don’t want.

Beginning the journey of following was the easiest thing I ever done. A path had already been forged ahead for me. The entire time that I was ignoring God, things were happening with FFM without me. I was receiving hits on the website I had hastily built when I first got the idea. Organizations were reaching out to me to offer the members of my groups benefits, tickets, etc. Now, here I am daily trying to create a stable Christian environment for my daughters to thrive. While creating a community of caregivers who are fueled with faith and want to raise their children in faith, grace and love.

We have successfully completed our first Walk & Study; a six week fitness and bible study for moms. We have hosted a couple Mom’s night outs. For the first time I feel more than just satisfied and content I feel fulfilled or shall I say faith fueled. More than I ever was with my business I couldn’t put on hold.

As for my business, I continually get sales through my affiliates that allow me to follow this Godspiration. I now willingly am guided by God daily and devote to Him. I have a strong relationship with the Lord, my family and my husband which is better than I ever dreamed.

Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Have you heard your calling? Did you run and hide or did you fully submit? How far did that take you?

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Faith Journey

“Fear Based” vs. Grace Based” Parenting

Post author By De
Post date April 12, 2015
1 Comment on “Fear Based” vs. Grace Based” Parenting

Now that I look back I feel that my parents did the best that they could. A lot of their parenting were to create fear so that I would not have to endure some of the hardships they experienced due to their own mistakes. As parents we want our children to better than us and try to lead them in the right direction.

We love our children so much and we don’t want them to succumb to the world so we do the best we can to keep them away. We teach our children John 3:16 NLT “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. Sometimes being interpreted as we have follow Jesus not the world and those who do are bad or evil. We often forget about John 3:17 NLTGod sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

Fear and judgement is pervasive and condemning and does not create an attitude of love. My understanding is that we are to be disciples and follow God’s way which is loving, graceful and inclusive not exclusivity and discriminant.

We are surrounded by the lost and as Christians we are here to be a light for God. You can’t be a light for someone else if you are to busy putting out there light to let your own shine; by condemning or judging their behavior, conduct or appearance. Even if there actions are offensive we should be graceful. Rather than looking at what we don’t like or want for our family maybe we should see how we can teach or grow from these situations or circumstances. Maybe we can to teach our children how to be disciples of Christ to that “bad influence” instead of the “steer clear” attitude.The only way that we can do that for our children is to be that example.

Our job is to teach our children to love God and love others. We have to remember Mark 12:30-31 NLT ³⁰And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. ³¹The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Showing our incredible love for God that overflows to our incredible love for other people. We can teach our children how to be good disciples.

“Grace Based Parenting” it is defined as treating your kids as God’s treat His-with grace. There is a fine balance between teaching them to Fear the world and using legalistic standards of parenting; and total abandonment of the foundation of God by becoming so accepting that you do not create a environment for your children that sets a standard of how to live. Every situation needs checks and balances.

Think of what John 1:14 (NLT) ¹⁴So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness.And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son. You must have grace but still stick to God’s truth. They go hand in hand. By being a walking reflection of God’s love will condition your children to act within those limits. Without feeling that by falling short of His grace that the love is conditional on living beyond a level that is attainable.

Try to remember to be graceful with your love because if it wasn’t for God’s grace we would be in trouble. With all the dumb things as adults that we do and the fact that He still loves us. We can cut our children a little slack and strive to be just as graceful. Yes, teach your children about the Bible; set a acceptable living standard but reinforce it with grace.

I would define the difference of a “Grace Based” Christian Family as a family that shows God’s heart,a kind family, generous family, shows kindness and love in all that they do, they serve others, most importantly they are humble. The “grace based” Christian family is a loving family that loves and cares for others no matter what or how they live, they care about others and wants the best for others, they improve others quality of living by focusing upwards and outwards versus inward.

I would define “fear based” Christian family of fearing or being “sin managers”; by making sure that sin stays away from your family. Versus living and growing from situations where we innately fall into sin. If we strive to have Jesus loves for others, be merciful, gentle, and not fault others when they struggle through temptations, nonjudgmental.

Remembering Christ loves ALL no matter their disappointments, short givings.There is victory in Jesus who is the only way that we will overcome sin and grow and learn. When correcting your children do it through love.