priorities – FaithFueled™ Mom

Breaking up with busyness

September is National Self-Care month. Self-care is not about massages and manicures but about doing the things that help you operate at your best self. For me, that means breaking up with busyness. For the last several months, I have been busy with no results. The things that I invest time in has not brought fulfillment. The things that my busyness is taking away from is falling by the wayside. This month I decided to self-care I need to stop being busy and do the things that are going to bring fulfillment.

Psalm 62:1 (NIV) Truly, my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.

What I knew

I was taught, “idle hands are the devils’ playground.” It has stuck with me throughout my life. Still busying myself with a task, some meaningful and some meaningless. Then, I became a mother and applied that to my children. Signing them up for classes, keeping their weekly calendar full with outings, play dates and activities. Teaching them that they should always have something to do and not allowing them to have the time of rest or leisure. After rereading the story of Mary and Martha I came to an epiphanie- “I need to break up with busyness.”

Luke 10:41-42 (NIV) “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

For the first time in my adult life, I wanted to be a “Mary.” Previously, I took pride in the fact that I was an exceptional multitasker and exemplary at time management. I realized slowing down and taking time to “be still” was an admirable trait.

Why is Busyness Applauded?

Many people are always on the go until they reach exhaustion. Busyness is considered tremendous, and stillness is deemed to be lazy. When we are still, we can hear God, be closer to Him, and use His guidance.

Mark 6:31-32 (NIV)
³¹Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”³²So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

Are we valuing our relationships?

Being busy also keeps us from having meaningful relationships with others. We are so wrapped up in the go-go; we aren’t fostering our communities and fellowship, which is very important.

Hebrews 10:24–25

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and ball the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Are we meaningful and present in our significant relationships, like our spouse or children? Are we filling our time and presence with stuff and activities? Is it worth the stress and isolation to be task-oriented?

Three Ways I plan to break up with Busyness

Say “No” more. I often say, “yes” before even thinking of how it will add or take away value from my life. I plan on saying, “Not Yet” and “No” more and see if the situation or task will take away from my life.
Get over FOMO. I often say, “Yes” because I don’t want to miss out on anything. I have always been like that but I am starting to realize that I don’t have to be part of everything and that is okay. Age brings you the wisdom I guess.
Knowing my Why. If I stayed focused on the “why” I am doing something than “what” I am doing will either have more or less meaning. Being rooted in my “why” will help me discern of the things that are meant for me.

My “Aha” Moment

The story of Mary and Martha was an epiphany for me. I discovered I wanted to fellowship, devote more time to God and my family and friends. Have a more meaningful and present relationship with the people in my life. It gave me permission that I needed to slow down and reduce so that I could be more like Mary. When I am planning for my children now, it’s memorable experiences versus expertise in activities. I spend quality time in the Word, with my husband daily, my family, my dog and my stress level are low. I am living the “Mary” lifestyle and enjoying the moments instead of calculating my time. So, the last part of the year I am going to be doing less and enjoying more. This life was not meant to cram as much as we can into every hour but to enjoy every hour that we have. That’s the plan let’s see if I stick with it.

Does busy equal important? Which would you prefer the “Mary” or “Martha” lifestyle?

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Idolizing Success

FaithFueled Friday

Psalm 31:6 (NIV) I hate those who cling to worthless idols; as for me, I trust in the Lord.

Idols

Chasing the impossible dream

Did you ever have to read the poem, A Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes? I loved it; I used to think of it when things would go wrong in business. It now has new meaning. I used to be an Entrepreneur I was so obsessed with the “Success” of my business; fulfilling my dream. At the time, I had two little girls 10 and 6 and one on the way. I don’t know if it was the pregnancy hormones, but I was on a mission to put my business on a stable platform before I had my baby. My need to succeed placed on any other priority. I relentlessly pursued every opportunity right or wrong. Looking back I have realized; my business never would be successful because God was not in the equation. I did not commission Him to help me reach my goals. I took it on my shoulders to carry that burden and became weak. Spending wasted ours chasing money and success.

Ecclesiastes 1:14 (NIV) I have seen all thins that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Idol

Flaws in the dream process

Now, the poem has new meaning. What happens to a dream deferred? It remains, it’s not going anywhere sometimes it needs to rest and placed for a later time. Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? It all depends on where your heart is. My heart now belongs entirely to God any dream that doesn’t glorify him has shriveled and died. I have new ideas that I am finding out can incorporate some of the old thoughts but unless it’s foundation is placed in the Lord it’s on shaky grounds. Or fester like a sore and then run? It did rot, I thought about “What will people think?” “What about all that energy I put into it?,”What about others who can obtain their dreams?” at one point all sore points but I have now found contentment in God and those wounds have healed.

idol.

Gaining the focus I need

Does it stink like rotten meat? Not anymore that has been thrown away. There is a new dream, one that involves God who can make it better than anything I could have done on my own. Or crust and sugar over– like a syrupy sweet? The peace I have, the lack of angst, the new focus is so much more pleasing. I sit back and look at those who I used to run with towards the shiny gold medal. I see the error of our ways and rather than be sore or smell the agony of defeat, I feel contentment. That is so much sweeter than being in the rat race. Maybe it just sags like a heavy load? Not for me I have someone to help me carry that burden, someone to give my yoke to so that I can be free from burdens. Or does it explode? Only through his grace has my business taken on new heights. The delivery has changed, but it is far exceeding anything that I could have done on my own. All because I put my idol of “success” away and leaned and relied on God. Is there something that you are making a priority over God? Is there something that you’ve done a priority and want to give it over to him now? Either way, what were your results?