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Reflection of 2018

Reflection of 2018 and Planning for 2019

The last half of 2018 I have slowly begun to rely on my own strength. This is a common mistake of mine that I start to seek God as a backup plan instead of the action plan.  I have let worry and anxiety drive a wedge between my trust and reliance on God.  Even in choosing my “word” for the year initially, I was motivated by my own motives or at least I thought I was until prayer.  Through prayer and scripture, I uncovered my truth for this year and intention for 2019.

My gaze has turned from 2017 focused on the things above and not of this earth.  In 2017, my word was “Focus and Legacy,” and my Verse was Colossians 3:2. 2017 was a phenomenal year. I was amazed at what I achieved. Honestly, I can say, that I focused on God that year and achieved greatness through Him.  Focusing on God and not the girl next to me allowed me to get things done that year.

Then in 2018, almost as a challenge, I believe. I was led to”Gratitude” for my word.  As anticipated there were many circumstances in 2018 where I could have said, “Why God?’ and chose “I am grateful, Lord.” It took intention, but it was a pruning experience. There were a few setbacks, humbling moments and many opportunities to give up but being grateful for what I had for the moment allowed me to persevere.

Practicing Gratitude

This year I felt like I fell from grace. It wasn’t intentional, but it has been made clear in my reflection and the way I felt the last half of the year.  I had let my need for achievement, success, and accolades over my need for the Truth and the Light.  There were brief periods of anxiety, depression, and loneliness especially at the beginning of the year when I was homebound with my ankle injury.

I felt like the things that I have worked so hard for began to crumble under my own strength. There were lots of setbacks in my life personally. I think the most significant blow was my husband tearing his Achilles at the peak of his busy training season.  We have had several roadblocks this year. We have had to pull back on some things. Change the way we lived for a while because of finances.

Despite my despair, I knew God was with me the entire time. He had never left me but allowed me my own free will to seek Him in all things.  If it weren’t for my desire to serve and be with God, I would never come to this realization. I also probably would have given in to the doubt like in the past.

Instead, I chose to trust in hope and wait in faith. It was also my reminder to be grateful even for a little bit which humbled our family this year.

Bringing it back to Prayer

I preach to honor your temple, but that can only be done and begin with prayer.  When I act first without prayer I always make a mess of things. So, here I am planning another year an in bright, bold neon letters- (God knows that’s the best way to get my attention). He has led me to a new beginning and time to learn from the previous year and set a new intention as I work to the next year.

 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 

My “Word(s)” for this year.

I founded FaithFueled™ Mom on the foundation of my intent to Glorify God.  Only through Him will it build community and grow but only if I connect with Him.

My three words for this year are “Community, Connection and Growth” initially my sinful nature defined them as,

CONNECTION with others who are on a similar mission to grow MY business.

Build a COMMUNITY of women who glorify God through honoring their temple. (Aka. FaithFueled™ mission statement)

and

GROWTH in all areas of life, finances, relationships, and business.

When God gives you a wake-up Smack

Then (yes afterward) I looked to Scripture to support MY intentions (not God).  Then as if I was smacked in the face

“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15 

That is not what I intended, but without God, my sinful nature took over my second nature. After spending time in the Word. I was set on a better path and given an opportunity to begin the year in the way of my heart’s desire.

My “Word (s)” Redefined

CONNECTION will be through Christ. He will lead me to the people to carry out His plan and not my own.

James 4:8 “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

COMMUNITY will continue to be my mission to grow a community of women who are glorifying God through honoring their temple.

“Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

GROWTH spiritually that will trickle into all aspects of my life.

“Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. 18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.” 2 Peter 3:17-18

My Word for 2019

I really want to keep it simple this year, so I am going to group these three under CHOSEN. Totally off my initial thought of my word(s) or is it?

One thing that I have felt this year is unqualified and unworthy. I think its time to realize that I am worthy and completely qualified. Only through God because He chose me to live this life.

“just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons and daughters through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will to praise the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:3-6

I have been chosen and this year I want to accept it. I want to connect with the God who chose me, build a community and share with other chosen women and grow and feel qualified through Him and not others opinions.

No longer living in doubt and question of my purpose. I want to walk in my life knowing that I was handpicked by God to bring Him glory.

My Faith fuels me

My intent is not to come across as a Saint because I am not a Saint.  I am a Child of God who was chosen in love to bring glory to His kingdom. I enjoy it; it brings me passion and drive to do what I do and help other people.  When I lose sight of Him, I lose my way, and that’s when I feel anxiety, worry, depression and not my best self.  So, I have to remember what I learned a few years ago and what got me so far. I need to

“Set my mind on the things above and not the things of this world.” Col 3:2

He will give me the clarity to fuel my journey as He has in the past and will do it again an again. Open the doors of opportunity and make the path straight. Whenever in whatever capacity I need.

Instead of “living my best life” I plan on “living the chosen life.”

It may mean a different course of action this year but I know that with God it ultimately, be in my favor, It always is when I seek and trust in Him.

My anticipation for 2019

When it is all said and done even if I don’t make it to a New Year. I want to live every day of 2019 connecting with God and seeking His purpose. Growing my faith and being in a community that is adding women to His kingdom. Living as if I was already chosen by Him to live a life of purpose. What do you think too lofty? You’ll just have to stay tuned and see how He manifest His goodness this year.

” For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:5-8

If you feel lost in your way seek God for guidance. He will give you direction and peace on your path.  Praying you to have a Happy Healthy New Year.

What did you learn in 2018 that you are going to use in 2019? What is your word?

 

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Through the Seasons

Reflecting back I realized what I’ve been through; how I got through; is why I am who I am today. When I was in school, my professor asked, “In ten years from now do you think that you are going to have the same belief system and values? Or, are you pretty much going to remain the same? Two of us said, “No” the majority of the class said, “Yes, the would have the same beliefs and values.” I was one of the two who said, “No.”

I know that I will value and believe some of the same things in 10 years, but I don’t think I could be the same. You get older, wiser, have more to value or a better definition of what it is and then I thought back to who I was ten years ago. That girl and this woman do not have the same values.

Apparently, I have a conviction and a strong belief in God now which I didn’t have before. I wasn’t always a Jesus Girl. The same enthusiasm I have for my faith I had in living in the world. I was a party girl searching for peace and comfort in all the wrong places and things. I was living daily anxious and frustrated, and then I tried something different. It happens we grow up, and we experience life and the seasons and looking back I have to say that through the seasons I have learned a few things that I will keep through the next ten years and hope to add more:

Season of Trust

There was a season that my family went through that we had nothing but to rely on and trust in God to get us through. When I say nothing, I mean that very literally “we had nothing.” Everything had been stripped from us along with our pride and humility.  I like to say, “we ran as far as the world could take us.” Living like the “Jones‘” left us at our rock bottom.  Only then did we begin to trust in God how we should with total and complete confidence because we didn’t have anything other option.

Looking back it was that “Fix it Jesus” mentality like, “Okay, Lord I’ve done everything that I could do. I’ve messed everything up, and I could use your help to bail me out.” Like the kind, good Father that He is He not only delivered us but that reliance and trust in Him brought my family into an intimate relationship with God. It was when we became FaithFueled.

Season of Be Still

Through God’s mercy we began to rebound, but then God started to prune another area in my temple; obedience.  God sat me down, shut me up, and through devotion, Bible study, prayer, and worship taught me to wait on God.Through much persistence, God asked me to “Be Still.” I was speaking with a good friend one day, and she said something that made me think of this season.

Before Jesus kept the 12 disciples very close to Him before He would be crucified and then send them out into the world to evangelize.  During my season of stillness, all I had was to take care of my family and dive headfirst into the Word. I studied inductively, attended Bible Study I submerged myself in the Word and learned so much about “learning the Bible.” It is now how I study daily, and I feel crucial in my daily walk with God.  I look back on those two years and remember being ungrateful for the season of rest and God continually reminding me it was but a moment.  Hindsight 20/20 because I don’t think I’d have the stamina for that season. It’s also when I was very depressed and abused food for comfort. Then I learned about prayer.

Season of Prayer

Everyone knows how to pray.  There’s all kind of prayers: rehearsed prayers you say for grace or your kids know, “fix it Jesus” prayers, “genie” prayers, and then there’s prayer.  Having an intimate conversation opening your heart to God with your gratitude and appeal. At the time, of course, I didn’t realize the power of prayer.  I knew praying was talking to God but until I started journaling, researching and doing some heavy praying; it’s all that people say and more.  Like anything you have to practice the skill often and do it often in this case-pray often or (“Pray without ceasing,” 1 Thess 5;16)

I used to be one of those people who say, I’m praying for you and honestly, didn’t always do it. Then I started reading, praying and reading more and praying more and learned. Praying for someone is the easier yet most powerful thing you can do for a person.

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” Matthew 21:22

Now, if I say I am praying for you if I don’t do it that moment which I usually do because it only takes a moment. We waste our time on so many other things taking 2-3 minutes to pray for a friend, family, peace; strength isn’t much.  When you journal or track them and realize that God is busier than you think because He does answer.  I have a journal and a prayer box.

Boxing it all Up

My journal idea came from a friend, Antracia Mooring who writes on her blog Unfolding Words.  I adopted the approach and journal often, (not daily I’m working on that” and looking back on answered prayers is such an uplifting feeling.  Then my prayer box came from a friend and mentored introduced me to the idea of putting my prayers in a box and then giving it to God.  Well, I went through that box, and the amount of answered prayers was so confirming. All but one had been answered at the moment and some I had forgotten.  It made me appreciate my season even more.

 

I think God likes to surprise us like we want to give to do for our kids or loved ones.  We do those things for the look of excitement on their face and the joy.  When we’re blessed with an answered prayer, I don’t know about you, but I jump around dancing and singing like a child who just got a surprise.  Its unexpected out of the blue and nothing that I have expected that’s when I know, “Yep, God that was you and thank you!” I have grown in patience and intimacy with God through this season and continue to glean from it.

Season of Focus & Legacy

I am now in a season of focus it’s what was my “word” for 2016 and has carried on into 2017. With all that has fone on this year (College, Started working after 12 years of staying at home, three daughters and Prepping for my first Figure Competition). I need to remember moment by moment to focus on God first and foremost and let Him lead me through the rest. This year in prayer and different conversations and signs the word “legacy” has presented itself.  With all life busyness, I don’t have much hindsight about this season as of yet, but I have been learning some new “skills” for strengthening my focus and will probably be sharing my journey. Regardless of what season looks like; doing life with God has made it worth every trial and triumph.

“Set your eyes on the things above and not the things of this earth.” Colossians 3:2

When looking back do you see a theme to your seasons in life?

 

Original Post 1.16.17 updated

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Family Marriage

4 Ways Praying for My Deployed Husband Helps Our Marriage

I want to introduce Elaine Sinott a devouted women of God, mother and wife.  We met through Social Media and after reading her blog Military Wife After God I knew that she needed to share on FaithFueled Mom!  February will be our Family First February month and Elaine is a great example of just that. Our military families make such a sacrifice for our freedom. I am so grateful for their services and the support of their family!

 

I recently learned through the Unveiled Wife’s devotionals Wife After God: Drawing Closer to God & Your Husband and 31 Prayers for My Husband: Seeing God Move in His Heart the extreme importance in praying for your husband. These devotionals (which I HIGHLY recommend-they truly changed my life!) taught me that praying for your husband not only has an incredible impact on him as a person but also for your marriage!

The 4 things I learned from praying for my husband daily are:

  1. It has helped me to see him through God’s eyes. Praying daily for my husband has softened my heart towards him and has helped me to let go of things in the past that have been hurtful. It has helped me to begin to see him through our Heavenly Father’s eyes meaning I am much more willing to choose love over anger and I am willing to extend grace. It has helped me to learn how to forgive, that I should be quick to forgive when I am hurt because God does that exact thing for us over and over! And it has taught me the importance of forgiveness in marriage! When you forgive your spouse, and begin to see him through God’s eyes, you learn true intimacy.
  2. It has helped my marriage significantly! Yes, believe it or not, it has made a difference in our marriage even through a deployment! Imagine the changes that can happen when your husband is next to your every day! (I cannot wait until he’s home for me to experience that feeling J) I have noticed that our conversations are much calmer, loving, and attentive towards each other throughout this deployment (probably because my anxiety has been almost non-existent since I began a relationship with our Heavenly Father!). When he is upset about something, I am more attentive to how it makes him feel and I’m less concerned about myself (something I wish I would’ve known for our last two deployments as well). When he is excited about something, I’m more attentive to why it makes him happy and I share in that joy with him! We have truly grown closer despite the 6,000 miles between us!
  3. It has taught me to RESPECT my husband! Respect for men is like the need to feel loved for women – our husbands need respect to thrive! They need it to be happy in life, every day. When a man is not respected, resentment builds and it will be difficult for him to be in tune you’re your needs. What does respecting your husband mean? It means letting go of the sarcastic comments. It means letting go of the things you think he is doing “wrong” if he isn’t doing them your way (my mistake there-correcting him too many times when taking care of the kids!) It means listening to him. It means trusting in his decisions and supporting him. It means not gossiping about your husband. You are your husband’s partner in life and he is yours – your job is to build each other up, not tear each other down. I have learned how to truly respect my husband with my words and my actions and it has made a world of a difference in our marriage.
  4. It has taught me to become more intimate with him! Intimacy is often thought of as a sexual thing but intimacy actually means “making yourself known.” Praying daily for my husband has taught me to step out of my comfort zone and talk to him about things we never used to talk about enough, like God and our feelings. We talked a little about them but after becoming closer to God this past fall for the first time in my life, I have learned a whole new level of communication with my husband and it’s been AWESOME! We don’t hold anything back, there are no questions about anything. We’re honest and open with each other about every little thing. Communication is ridiculously important in a military marriage especially, as you can imagine, because that is all we have for months at a time. This whole new level of intimacy with my husband has been the start of something beautiful! Prayer has such power – you won’t realize it until you try!

Being your husband’s wife, your prayers for him are the most powerful. God wants nothing more than for your marriage to be centered around Him. And He promises when two or more gather in His name, He is there with you! What a beautiful and comforting promise our Heavenly Father makes!

One of the most intimate acts you can ever do with your husband is pray WITH him! Sit in your bed together at night before falling asleep, hold hands, and talk to God. Ask Him to bless your marriage – to let His will be done through it! Pray aloud for your husband, ask God to protect him emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally every day. Ask God to help your husband fulfill his duty of being a leader in Christ for you and your family. Ask Him to help your husband be the warrior in Christ he was created to be. And ask God to help you become to wife you want him to be – for you to love your husband the way God wants you to love him and to always forgive and love without conditions.

Praying for your husband can move mountains in your marriage. It can bring healing, understanding, forgiveness, love, security, compassion, kindness, gentleness, joy, and so much more. When you pray for your husband, you invite God into your marriage and, when God is the foundation of your marriage, you and your husband can conquer anything the world throws your way!

Meet Elaine

Elaine Sinnott is a military wife to Luke of 5 years, a mommy to 4 beautiful little boys, and a daughter of God, eager to learn and share what she learns about God’s purpose for marriage! She also wants to help the military wives out there know that they’re never truly alone when the lifestyle seems that way – that God is always with them! She credits the devotional Wife After God: Drawing Closer to God & Your Husband by Jennifer Smith (@UnveiledWife) for changing her life and saving her marriage.

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Growing Faith Muscles

 

FaithFueled Friday

Changing old habits

When I first came back to Christ, I was a stressed, worried mess. I worried about everything I had no control over, (which is everything) making myself physically sick. It may even have been the cause of me losing one of my twins in my last pregnancy. I would go over scenarios over and over again in my mind, making things worse each time. Then, after speaking with an excellent friend and mentor about my constant anxiety; She suggested a “God Box.” A “God box” is to place all my worries. First, I would write down my issues, pray, and then deposit it in the box. Anytime I began to worry, or what she likes to call “mentally masturbate” (that’s why I love her so) I would look at my box and acknowledge that I had already given it to God.

Matthew 6:34 (NIV) 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Growing Faith Muscles

This small gesture brought me great peace. At the time it was hard for me to trust completely in the Lord. I still sometimes struggle with this. In the world, you are so used to leaning on yourself for solutions when problems arise. In Christ, He will carry your burdens (Who does that? Not your fellow man!) which are something I am not used too. Breaking old habits is hard. Being a child of God, is just that, a child where you must learn new skills.

Matthew 11:28 (NIV) “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

Pumping My Muscles

Faith, Grace, and Mercy seem to be a like a muscle you need to grow; You must continually exercise it to see results. My friend’s suggestion of a “God Box”, which I now call my “prayer box” was exactly what I needed to increase my faith and truly understand God’s grace. Constructing my first box was simple. I took a tissue box covered it in shimmery paper and cut a hole in the top. All my worries were placed in it. I would still worry; it wasn’t an instant fix, but instead of continually going over the scenarios the box reminded me to pray.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus

 

GrowingYourFaithMuscle

Seeing Results

Eventually, my stomach subsided, things began to get better, prayers were being answered, and I wasn’t worrying.  Months went by, and I continued to exercise my new coping mechanism. One day, in the midst of prayer, God told me to open the box.  First, I didn’t realize how much stuff I worried about.  Secondly, I didn’t know how many prayers God had answered in less than three months.  His grace and mercy brought to fruition in my life.  Rewind two years later, prayer (and of course God) has changed my life, health, and stress.  I still break out the box when I need to release my burdens. I also use it to praise Him when I open it up to see all the things that he has done for me. If only I knew of His sovereignty sooner (not just in theory but actual application) in my adult life.

GrowingYourFaithMuscle.

How do you handle your stress? How do you strengthen your faith?

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Roller Coaster of Peace

FaithFueled Friday

When things look bad

Have you ever had one of those “Rotten, terrible, no good, very bad days?” Weeks? Months?  I have to say that most days I am highly blessed and favored.Then there are those few moments in life where I feel like God was working on something or someone else that day? week? and sometimes even months? I know better but sometimes I let my feelings rule. On those days my annoyances get in the way it’s very hard to see anything else. The way I handled those days before Jesus is much different than how I would handle it today.

Girl in Time Out

James 1:2-4 (NIV) Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

What to do on the bad days

Say you had one of those days when by the time you eat lunch you are begging for a do over. Scared to proceed because you are asking yourself, “How could this day get any worse?”  Just as you completed your thought the unthinkable happens;  it gets worse.  Sometimes, on days like this the old me, the before Jesus me, comes out. I react with anger, anxiety, frustration, and get myself all worked up over things I have no control over. When I react like that I make bad decisions which go against who I am now with God.  I never achieve God’s purpose.  This is when I need to take steps to walk in God’s peace before I fly off the handle. God can handle anything, even the up’s and down’s of my emotions and He is there to give me peace when I can’t find it within myself.

Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always,.  I will say it gain: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do no be anxious about anything but in every situations, by prayer and petitions with thanksgiving, present your request to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends  all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in the Christ Jesus.

Peace.

 Steps to Walk in God’s Peace

1. Rejoice be happy in any and all circumstances. Sometimes it seems as if it can’t get any worse but trust me and it can. God is allowing you to be right where you are just for a moment; it may seem longer but if you look at the grand scheme of eternity we are only here for a moment. These blips are just a micro second in time even if the blips go on for months and months. Praise Him for His way is always better than your own and He will get you through whether you deserve it or not.

2. Be Gentle to those around you, you can sometimes blame them or take things out on them but that is not showing God’s love nor making the situation any better. Be gentle to show those around you God’s way. 

3.  Recognize His Presence I find this probably the hardest part when you are in the thick of the muck. Psalms 73:23 says: “Yet I am always with you;you hold me by my right hand.”  God is always with you and is your right hand even if you don’t feel His presence recognize that its that there.

4.  Pray If I forget the previous three steps I always know to pray; no matter where I am emotionally God’s peace always takes over me in prayer. His grace and His goodness will get me through anything even if my prayers are not answered immediately, just the peace I receive from prayer allows me to make better decisions.

Psalms 139:23-24 Search me God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way me; and lead me in the way everlasting.

 Peace

Up’s and Down’s of Faith

My faith is like a seesaw at the playground; as I get to know the Lord more, my faith goes up.  Then the old me can react badly and can jump on the other end but I will continue to look to Him for my balance and peace.  Every situation and circumstances is giving me more maturity in the Lord to learn how to persevere.  He knows what we need to bring us peace in every situations. How do you handle a stressful day? How did you used to handle it or is it the same?

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