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Breaking up with Busyness

Breaking up with busyness

September is National Self-Care month. Self-care is not about massages and manicures but about doing the things that help you operate at your best self. For me, that means breaking up with busyness. For the last several months, I have been busy with no results. The things that I invest time in has not brought fulfillment. The things that my busyness is taking away from is falling by the wayside. This month I decided to self-care I need to stop being busy and do the things that are going to bring fulfillment.

Psalm 62:1 (NIV) Truly, my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.

What I knew

I was taught, “idle hands are the devils’ playground.” It has stuck with me throughout my life. Still busying myself with a task, some meaningful and some meaningless.  Then, I became a mother and applied that to my children. Signing them up for classes, keeping their weekly calendar full with outings, play dates and activities.  Teaching them that they should always have something to do and not allowing them to have the time of rest or leisure. After rereading the story of Mary and Martha I came to an epiphanie- “I need to break up with busyness.”

Luke 10:41-42 (NIV) “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” 

For the first time in my adult life, I wanted to be a “Mary.” Previously, I took pride in the fact that I was an exceptional multitasker and exemplary at time management.  I realized slowing down and taking time to “be still” was an admirable trait.

Why is Busyness Applauded?

Many people are always on the go until they reach exhaustion.  Busyness is considered tremendous, and stillness is deemed to be lazy.  When we are still, we can hear God, be closer to Him, and use His guidance.

Mark 6:31-32 (NIV)
31 Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”32 So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

Are we valuing our relationships?

Being busy also keeps us from having meaningful relationships with others.  We are so wrapped up in the go-go; we aren’t fostering our communities and fellowship, which is very important.

Hebrews 10:24–25

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and ball the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Are we meaningful and present in our significant relationships, like our spouse or children? Are we filling our time and presence with stuff and activities? Is it worth the stress and isolation to be task-oriented?

Three Ways I plan to break up with Busyness

  1. Say “No” more. I often say, “yes” before even thinking of how it will add or take away value from my life.  I plan on saying, “Not Yet” and “No” more and see if the situation or task will take away from my life.
  2. Get over FOMO. I often say, “Yes” because I don’t want to miss out on anything. I have always been like that but I am starting to realize that I don’t have to be part of everything and that is okay. Age brings you the wisdom I guess.
  3. Knowing my Why.  If I stayed focused on the “why” I am doing something than “what” I am doing will either have more or less meaning. Being rooted in my “why” will help me discern of the things that are meant for me.

My “Aha” Moment

The story of Mary and Martha was an epiphany for me. I discovered I wanted to fellowship, devote more time to God and my family and friends.  Have a more meaningful and present relationship with the people in my life.  It gave me permission that I needed to slow down and reduce so that I could be more like Mary. When I am planning for my children now, it’s memorable experiences versus expertise in activities. I spend quality time in the Word, with my husband daily, my family, my dog and my stress level are low.  I am living the “Mary” lifestyle and enjoying the moments instead of calculating my time. So, the last part of the year I am going to be doing less and enjoying more. This life was not meant to cram as much as we can into every hour but to enjoy every hour that we have. That’s the plan let’s see if I stick with it.

Does busy equal important? Which would you prefer the “Mary” or “Martha” lifestyle?

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Understanding God’s Love

Psalm 127:3 (NIV) “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”

He Gives Us Real-Life Examples

Sometimes, I wonder does God give us children to understand His frustrations, unconditional love, empathy, and desire for more than we want for ourselves. I can remember my mother telling me, “I can’t wait till you have children of your own.” Of course, it wasn’t until I had children of my own; I could understand her perspective.

Reminders in the Word

When reading the word, I sometimes relate to motherhood. It is something that is a part of my identity and that I can easily relate and understand. For example, my children’s selective hearing. I will tell my daughter specific instructions, at which she will do something entirely different or my favorite, nothing at all. Then, it ends up messed up, and I either have to help her or tell her again. Then by “GODcidence”, I am reading Jonah how God told him to flee Ninevah.

[“Cliff Notes” version, although Jonah is a very short yet powerful chapter in the Bible] He does his own thing deliberately disobeying God and sets out for Tarshish (for those new to the story which is thousands of miles in a different direction). Jonah ends up in the belly of a big fish (aka whale). God the Father delivers Jonah and again tells his hard headed child to go to Ninevah and deliver a message.

Jonah 3:1-2 (NIV) “Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.”

As I am reading this, of course, I think “man Jonah sounds like my daughters’.” There is a difference, though; our God has so much more compassion and patience than I. He is slow to anger (which I am working/praying on).

More than I deserve

Jonah 4:2, 4-5 (NIV) 2 “He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.

4 But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”5 Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city.”

It even angered Jonah to think after all he had done God still provided. Even though Jonah had no right to be angry, God still provided Him shade from the sun. Just like when my twelve-year-old gets mad at me for doing what’s right for her but not the way she wanted me to. Doesn’t make me stop loving or caring for her. I am her mother, who still loves her and will always do anything to provide.I sometimes sit back thinking I am so undeserving of His grace. God reminds me of the grace and unconditional love through my girls. Comparing God’s love to a mother’s love is the only way I can make sense of His unwavering love.

None Like Him

Now, I know the story of Jonah is not about how to love your children, rather obey the Lord and to forgive everyone. Comparing it to my kids helps me gain perspective. (Since, coming back to my faith I have found several different applications of the story of Jonah.) There is no man that would give their Son for me much like how I would give up everything for my girls, (which “Godcidentally” God has given me them too). I am grateful for my Heavenly Father’s unconditional love and although sometimes I feel I am not worth it or don’t like how things are done. At the end of the day, He loves me for who I am, and that will never change.

What helps you understand God’s love?

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We Left the World

Flash Back Friday calls for a post that was originally published June 2015!  Through our faith we have managed to find a steady foundation for our family to  stand. We have lost some friends, gained some and opened our eyes to a new life in Christ.  Together as a family we work steadfast to be a light for God in all we do. Although, we may fail we are no longer living in the world that we once were.

I have not always been a mother fueled by her faith. Not long ago, I was a mother trying to raise two little girls to be the best they could be in this lost world.  We were living in the world. We were believers but we didn’t have a relationship with God. We would say our goodnight prayers but that was about all I had taught my children about God.

As our family grew from just one little girl to two little girls and then three. A yearning of fullfillment plagued me. Living in the world was no longer satisfying. I needed more purpose, more substance, I needed God in my everyday life. My life changed from needing God in my life; to wanting God in my life. Once my mindset changed life how I knew it quickly transformed.

One day, I decided that praying for God to be apart of my families life wasn’t going to cut it. We needed fellowship, praise and education. I began searching for a church to attend. It didn’t take me long because God already had a home for me.

Guided by Him I went to church one Sunday which was different for me because I was raised to attend church on Saturday. Although, I was raised different everything felt so right.

During the last worship song the Holy Spirit took over. I was filled with overwhelming joy. Then, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me clearly “you are home”.  That was the beginning of my family leaving the world and beginning to serve Christ.

My daughter’s love our Church and participate and serve wherever they can. I too serve in the Children’s Ministry and attend small groups and Bible study. I have made fast friends and had some deep connection with some women. My husband is also more faithful and leads our family everyday in prayer before we go our separate ways.

It’s all so amazing what God has done in our lives. My husband once said, “we used to have a happy home but now our home is filled with pure joy.” The difference is uncanny and hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it. My marriage is stronger than ever and I now feel that I am living in purpose instead of day to day. This journey that my family is on through God’s grace is only getting started.

Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on things above not on earthly things.”

How did you bring your family to Christ? Were you always a Christian family or did you make come from living in the world too?

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Raised in the Church not Christ

Church Rules

Colossians 2:20-23 (NIV) 20 Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules:21“Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”?22 These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings.23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

Raised in the Church

The legalistic church I grew up in focused on rules; You had to do this, dress like this,eat this, say this to get into the kingdom of heaven. For a rebellious teen and young adult this was something I had no interest in. It wasn’t until I became an adult started studying Gods word that I realized Jesus didn’t care about the rules. The rules were meant for people to follow to control them. Jesus cares about the inside your heart and where you faith lies by following man made rules; keeps you focused on the outside and doesn’t allow you to grow on the inside.

Girl Pretending

Playing the Part

Matthew 23:5a (NIV) “Everything they do is done for people to see:
Some people like me inherit their faith; born into their faith but not something that they have chosen for themselves.  You grow up learning how to act like a Christian, talk like a Christian and you are honoring your heritage.  You are learning how to play the part but never surrendering your heart to Jesus and falling in love.  Then, there are those who learn how to be a Christian. They can recall scripture, dress modestly, know the prayers and how to pray. They are simply going through the motions never really committed but just keeping up appearances. Either way, whether they are inheritance or reluctant participants of Christianity; they are just following the rules and not truly serving God.
People don't want to hear the truth
Hypocrisy in the church
Just because you call yourself a Christian doesn’t mean you are a follower of Christ.  Hypocrites, yes I said it, hypocrites is probably one of the reasons I left my faith when I was a young adult. I was apart of a startling statistic about Christian youth; 69-94% of Christian children raised in the faith leave the faith within 2 years after high school. The number one reason those young adults leave is due to “hypocrisy”. When I was growing up I was apart of the “drug problem”  that families who pass on the legacy of Christianity subject their children to. I was “drug” to church every week to dress up and show up but never having that same experience at home through study or prayer. My family was Monday-Friday sinners and weekend Christians. When it came to having my own freedom to choose I chose the world and not to my faith.
Raised in Christ
Matthew 23:3b But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach.
Now, that I have found my way back to Christ and am in love. I am making a conscious effort not to repeat the cycle with my children. I am trying to teach them to have the armor of God and learn and know the truth for themselves; so that they may not be led astray.  I want to teach them to show grace to others just as Jesus shows us grace everyday. I want them to see that I have a relationship with God and not just going through the motions. Now when you are in love, everyone knows it. Not only is it written all over your face, your acts but it’s all that you can talk about. Children are very observant and they pick up quick. The easiest way to see if you’re expressing your love is to ask your children;They will tell you right away.
We as Christian parents, must encompass being a Christian as an identity something that cannot be separated from us. Not a character we play at Church but a person we are day in and day out our identity. We have bad days as parents and as people and that is when I express God’s unconditional love. I show them how prayer can help you in times of stress, forgiveness, as well as, times to rejoice and praise. I am determined to give my girls the tools they need so that they do no become a statistic.
As we live our lives as Christian parents are we showing our love for God?
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Giving Glory not Seeking Attention

Road

1 John 2:15-17 (NIV) 15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

The Wrong Road to Success

When I was in the world, I constantly sought acceptance and recognition from others. Striving to keep up with the Jones’ to prove to others I was equal to them and their success.  Never measuring up to the constantly raising ceiling of status and fearing mediocrity.  Then, I accepted Jesus who unconditionally loved me whether I was poor or rich.  No matter my social status I was perfection in His eyes. My desire to possess things I couldn’t afford put my life and marriage under emotional and physical stress.  The more I focused on what I didn’t have the more anxious and depressed I became.  Then, I grew more in Jesus.  I realized that only He could create the wealth and comfort I sought. Only through Him what I yearned was easily possible.  Jesus fed thousands with only 5 loaves and 2 fishes; made wine out of water. He could surely help me pursue my dreams.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

crossroads

Finding My Way

All I had to do was connect with Him he was all the acceptance I need. All I had to do was glorify Him for all He has done, which should be easy since He has been the only one to actually do something for me by giving His life.  Then, I realized Jesus love for me. With His unfailing love my life and has been renewed.  I now am grateful for His sacrifice which has brought contentment and harmony to my life. I no longer have to prove to man I am worthy.  I have to praise Him for making me worthy.  I am now content with wherever I am in life because I know that no matter what I achieve or have on this earth, the best is yet to come. With that understandings brings a new awareness of how beautiful my life truly is and makes me want to be a light for Jesus. To show how God’s glory is shining through me.

Isaiah 55:12-13(NIV)12 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown,for an everlasting sign,that will endure forever.”

glory

Continuing on the right path

Now that I know this realization, I still struggle with staying focused on Christ. Old habits are hard to break and I still sometimes look at the greener grass on the other side of the fence. Although, I know that it is the same grass I am tempted to want it. I have to rely on Christ to keep me focused. I need him daily in my life to keep me from my own desires to want what others have. I try to find encouragement in the word. Being new to Christ I try to learn the word and am amazed at how that day’s devotion or a post I see on Social media is calling me back to where I need to be. I have asked mentors when will the struggle end and it won’t. “The struggle is real” but God’s grace is redeeming and without the struggle I don’t think that I would have the appreciation that I have.

Galatians 5:16 (NIV) 16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Is it hard to put your own pride aside and do for God? Do you seek guidance from God when setting to achieve goals? What do you do when you find yourself falling into old habits?

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