Tag: christian mom blogger

Breaking up with Busyness

Post author By De
Post date September 9, 2019
12 Comments on Breaking up with Busyness

Breaking up with busyness

September is National Self-Care month. Self-care is not about massages and manicures but about doing the things that help you operate at your best self. For me, that means breaking up with busyness. For the last several months, I have been busy with no results. The things that I invest time in has not brought fulfillment. The things that my busyness is taking away from is falling by the wayside. This month I decided to self-care I need to stop being busy and do the things that are going to bring fulfillment.

Psalm 62:1 (NIV) Truly, my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.

What I knew

I was taught, “idle hands are the devils’ playground.” It has stuck with me throughout my life. Still busying myself with a task, some meaningful and some meaningless. Then, I became a mother and applied that to my children. Signing them up for classes, keeping their weekly calendar full with outings, play dates and activities. Teaching them that they should always have something to do and not allowing them to have the time of rest or leisure. After rereading the story of Mary and Martha I came to an epiphanie- “I need to break up with busyness.”

Luke 10:41-42 (NIV) “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

For the first time in my adult life, I wanted to be a “Mary.” Previously, I took pride in the fact that I was an exceptional multitasker and exemplary at time management. I realized slowing down and taking time to “be still” was an admirable trait.

Why is Busyness Applauded?

Many people are always on the go until they reach exhaustion. Busyness is considered tremendous, and stillness is deemed to be lazy. When we are still, we can hear God, be closer to Him, and use His guidance.

Mark 6:31-32 (NIV)
³¹Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”³²So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

Are we valuing our relationships?

Being busy also keeps us from having meaningful relationships with others. We are so wrapped up in the go-go; we aren’t fostering our communities and fellowship, which is very important.

Hebrews 10:24–25

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and ball the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Are we meaningful and present in our significant relationships, like our spouse or children? Are we filling our time and presence with stuff and activities? Is it worth the stress and isolation to be task-oriented?

Three Ways I plan to break up with Busyness

Say “No” more. I often say, “yes” before even thinking of how it will add or take away value from my life. I plan on saying, “Not Yet” and “No” more and see if the situation or task will take away from my life.
Get over FOMO. I often say, “Yes” because I don’t want to miss out on anything. I have always been like that but I am starting to realize that I don’t have to be part of everything and that is okay. Age brings you the wisdom I guess.
Knowing my Why. If I stayed focused on the “why” I am doing something than “what” I am doing will either have more or less meaning. Being rooted in my “why” will help me discern of the things that are meant for me.

My “Aha” Moment

The story of Mary and Martha was an epiphany for me. I discovered I wanted to fellowship, devote more time to God and my family and friends. Have a more meaningful and present relationship with the people in my life. It gave me permission that I needed to slow down and reduce so that I could be more like Mary. When I am planning for my children now, it’s memorable experiences versus expertise in activities. I spend quality time in the Word, with my husband daily, my family, my dog and my stress level are low. I am living the “Mary” lifestyle and enjoying the moments instead of calculating my time. So, the last part of the year I am going to be doing less and enjoying more. This life was not meant to cram as much as we can into every hour but to enjoy every hour that we have. That’s the plan let’s see if I stick with it.

Does busy equal important? Which would you prefer the “Mary” or “Martha” lifestyle?

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Tags busy, choices, chrisitanity, Christ, Christian, Christian Family, christian mom, christian mom blogger, christian parenting, decisions, devotion, faith, faith journey, families, priorities, prioritizing, slowing down, task oriented, time management

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We Left the World

Flash Back Friday calls for a post that was originally published June 2015! Through our faith we have managed to find a steady foundation for our family to stand. We have lost some friends, gained some and opened our eyes to a new life in Christ. Together as a family we work steadfast to be a light for God in all we do. Although, we may fail we are no longer living in the world that we once were.

I have not always been a mother fueled by her faith. Not long ago, I was a mother trying to raise two little girls to be the best they could be in this lost world. We were living in the world. We were believers but we didn’t have a relationship with God. We would say our goodnight prayers but that was about all I had taught my children about God.

As our family grew from just one little girl to two little girls and then three. A yearning of fullfillment plagued me. Living in the world was no longer satisfying. I needed more purpose, more substance, I needed God in my everyday life. My life changed from needing God in my life; to wanting God in my life. Once my mindset changed life how I knew it quickly transformed.

One day, I decided that praying for God to be apart of my families life wasn’t going to cut it. We needed fellowship, praise and education. I began searching for a church to attend. It didn’t take me long because God already had a home for me.

Guided by Him I went to church one Sunday which was different for me because I was raised to attend church on Saturday. Although, I was raised different everything felt so right.

During the last worship song the Holy Spirit took over. I was filled with overwhelming joy. Then, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me clearly “you are home”. That was the beginning of my family leaving the world and beginning to serve Christ.

My daughter’s love our Church and participate and serve wherever they can. I too serve in the Children’s Ministry and attend small groups and Bible study. I have made fast friends and had some deep connection with some women. My husband is also more faithful and leads our family everyday in prayer before we go our separate ways.

It’s all so amazing what God has done in our lives. My husband once said, “we used to have a happy home but now our home is filled with pure joy.” The difference is uncanny and hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it. My marriage is stronger than ever and I now feel that I am living in purpose instead of day to day. This journey that my family is on through God’s grace is only getting started.

Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on things above not on earthly things.”

How did you bring your family to Christ? Were you always a Christian family or did you make come from living in the world too?

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Modesty doesn’t define faith

Post author By De
Post date July 7, 2015
4 Comments on Modesty doesn’t define faith

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.” Matthew 5:13

This is typically not the Bible verse used when discussing the way Christian women should dress. I think that since we are representing ourselves within society that it could appropriately be considered as part of what God calls us to do. He appointed us to be the means of preventing or curing the growth of that corruption which prevails in the world, and of seasoning people’s minds with wisdom and grace.* Typically, when discussing the way women should dress;
1 Timothy 2:9-10 (NIV) ⁹I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, ¹⁰but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

I could go on and on about how literal some people take this verse without doing their research. Paul the apostle, had no problem with jewelry or dressing nicely. He was referring to women dressing like the non believing women of his time and how they dressed, more specifically Roman women of the time.

I grew up in a very legalistic religion that had a doctrine for all the different facets of life. It took this verse by verbatim to define the way women should dress. When I became a young adult I left my faith for a variety of reasons. As a rebellion my modesty was one of the first identities of the world that I adorned. I got my ears pierced and would wear obnoxiously large Cubic Zirconia that sparkled from miles away. Plastered my face with way to much makeup (one thing was because I could; The other, I did not know how to properly apply it.) I bought midriff, form fitting, low cut tops; (that was the criteria: must be form fitting, low cut, midriffs.) Way to short, shorts and skirts. Now that I have been born again, I have a yearning to represent Christ. A struggle I have is finding a suitable definition of modesty.

1 Corinthians 12:23 (NIV) and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,

I was raised that to be modest you need to be covered from your neck to your ankle, preferably in a skirt; (definitely when attending church) but not required. Makeup, jewelry, and fancy hairstyles were not acceptable or appropriate. That lead me to do research of a new definition of modesty. In the last week, I have read conservative to liberal Christian perspectives. Observing other Christians, people in my church and leaders as well as celebrity public Christian personalities. Then, I had a conversation with a sister in Christ on the issue of bathing suits at the beach, which led me to this post. After reading some strong opinions and fear based views. I turned to the source the Bible and Bible commentaries. I have a definition of what my family and I will teach my three daughters as being modest or representing Christ.

Godly women can be fashionable and attractive and I don’t mean sexually attractive. I mean the dictionaries definition of having beneficial qualities or features that induce someone to accept what is being offered. What is being offered in our case is the truth of Christ. This doesn’t mean that we should be dress for other peoples approval. That we are not sloppy or frumpy and take care of our appearance. I do believe modesty is something which families need to take a very close, careful, prayerful look at for themselves. Then determine to be a woman after God’s own heart and what that would outwardly look like to represent their inward beliefs. “Your clothing should be tight enough to show that you’re a woman, but loose enough to show that you’re a lady!”

Even if you dress the part doesn’t mean that you have a corner on truth. It’s possible to have a modest outward appearance while having the immodest heart of (critical, self-righteous, and judgmental towards those who do not see things the way you do).

1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV) Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

Showing grace to everyone no matter what they appear to look like. Whether, you are wearing tank tops, shorts, skirts, dresses, and a bathing suit. Yes, my daughter wear bathing suits, to the pool or beach, I just don’t feel a bikini is essential to them becoming faster swimmers. Respect your body, your family and most important honor God in all that you do including what you wear.

Do you feel that modesty has an effect on your faith?

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Birth of a Calling

Proverbs 16:9 In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.

Eighteen months ago a baby was born; Faith fueled Mom. God had put this on my heart a few months before my third daughter was born. We will be celebrating her first birthday on Friday, July 3rd. Being the Mompreneur for 10 years prior, when I received the idea for FFM I had instantly decided that it could be a new business venture. (Haha can you hear God laughing?) I quickly drew up the business plan, pieced together a logo, created a make shift website and BAM! I would add this to my plate too.

Then, I actually became a mother for the third time and unexpectedly my life changed. Unlike, with my other daughters this time I resisted this life change. At the time, I was building my “empire”. Working towards following my dream to own a multi-million dollar business. I was going to strap this baby girl on and keep moving forward, fast and furious. I had planned to be a mom, a wife, pursue my dreams, and work on FaithFueled Mom on the side. If anyone could do it it would be me because “I am Superwoman!” God had other plans.

For months, I continued to busy myself getting busy. Just a hamster in a wheel consulting with God in times of great despair and/or during hardships, setbacks but never to lead my footsteps. Psalm 119:133 Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.

One day, I began to pray for my business, in addition to my normal prayer but this time for God’s guidance and provisions. Well you know that saying, “be careful what you pray for?” God answered mine and I didn’t like the response.

Road blocks went up in my business. I am not one who gives up so I prayed harder. I was called again but I still wasn’t ready to give up my plans. I acted as if i didn’t hear what direction I was told to take. More things started to go wrong with my business.

I began to pray more and specifically for God’s guidance. Again, very clearly stated I was called. God told me (not asked) to put my business on hold and to “be still!” Then there were confirmations that from unlikely sources. Again, I played deaf; kind of like a child with selective hearing.

Now there is nothing wrong with being a mom. It is so much harder than being a kind-of-present work at home mom; but I thought I had mastered that role. It was time for me to pursue other dreams. Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.

I continued to do just that as if I didn’t hear God’s calling. He began to strip more away till the writing was on the wall. Evidently clear with bright neon glitter paint (because as I have said before that is the only way to get my attention). Reluctantly, I put everything on hold and I began to “be still”.
Psalm 46:10 Be still for I am God.

I dove head first into study of the word. I felt if I couldn’t devote to my business I would devote to God. (Maybe that would make Him happy and give me my business back; Again, do you hear him laughing?) Every study I did was a little piece of the puzzle. Yet, I didn’t have a box to see what the picture was I was putting together. In the back of my mind I knew I was still playing hard to get.

My studies led me to Divine Interruption, Being a Disciple, I attended Beth Moore’s Living Proof Conference. Everything that I did my heart screamed “put your business on hold be present for your girls.” Then, I signed up for a Online Bible Study and it led me to finally surrender.

During Online Bible Study and week after week; were more confirmations. More pieces to my map to follow. God’s guidance was clearly stated. Then, I read “We must choose to leave first. We must see by faith the rewards ahead and then move forward.”

This time when neon glitter paint was presented I had no choice but to be obedient and submit.
I first spoke with my husband literally in overwhelming tears, who confirmed my step. I prayed about it and confirmed my steps. I spoke to my sisters in Christ they confirmed my steps and so I began. I am pretty headstrong when it comes to something I want or in this case don’t want.

Beginning the journey of following was the easiest thing I ever done. A path had already been forged ahead for me. The entire time that I was ignoring God, things were happening with FFM without me. I was receiving hits on the website I had hastily built when I first got the idea. Organizations were reaching out to me to offer the members of my groups benefits, tickets, etc. Now, here I am daily trying to create a stable Christian environment for my daughters to thrive. While creating a community of caregivers who are fueled with faith and want to raise their children in faith, grace and love.

We have successfully completed our first Walk & Study; a six week fitness and bible study for moms. We have hosted a couple Mom’s night outs. For the first time I feel more than just satisfied and content I feel fulfilled or shall I say faith fueled. More than I ever was with my business I couldn’t put on hold.

As for my business, I continually get sales through my affiliates that allow me to follow this Godspiration. I now willingly am guided by God daily and devote to Him. I have a strong relationship with the Lord, my family and my husband which is better than I ever dreamed.

Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Have you heard your calling? Did you run and hide or did you fully submit? How far did that take you?

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My Need for Discernment

This Or That Way Directions On A Wooden Signpost According to the dictionary, discernment means “the quality of being able to grasp or comprehend what is obscure.” This is not a strong trait of mine. That saying, “can’t you just take a hint?” NO! I am very black and white; concrete thinker. When it comes to picking up on clues that’s what I need God for. I have to pray everyday for his help in this department, sometimes several times a day depending on the day that I am having.

Now we (and I am referring to saved Christians) know God leads we follow, whether we actually follow that is another blog post. Some of us stumble along and others confidently go on our way. He opens doors we graciously or reluctantly walk or bump into them. I wish there was always a clear cut path to take. I struggle with this in parenting too. If we could just have a “how to” or instruction manual for each child and their particular personalities. Then I could confidently raise my girls and wear the badge as the “best mom ever”, couldn’t we all? I am the type of person who reads the instruction manual cover-to-cover before proceeding to tackle the complicated Ikea furniture. When I begin to struggle with discernment I go to the life instruction manual; Yes, I am referring to the Bible.

Proverbs 2:6-8 ⁶For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. ⁷He holds success in store for the upright,he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, ⁸for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.

There it is was as if God had sprinkled glitter (of course in my favorite color) on the pages just for me to see. The words wisdom, knowledge, understanding, success, shield, guards, protects all stood out to me. Now, when I need a magnify glass to grasp and comprehend the obscure. I call on knowledge and wisdom from God. Sometimes I need understanding because although I think of myself very intellgient. Sometimes I just don’t get it. When I care to much I may need a shield, guard and protecton of my heart. No matter what it is or what I need it’s comforting to know God’s got me covered.He has provided me with the discernment to see the way and the decision or choice to be made. Leading me while protecting me the entire way.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 ⁹But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Do you think of discernment as something you choose to see or a natural gift?

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