grace based parenting – FaithFueled™ Mom

FaithFueled Friday

Changing old habits

When I first came back to Christ, I was a stressed, worried mess. I worried about everything I had no control over, (which is everything) making myself physically sick. It may even have been the cause of me losing one of my twins in my last pregnancy. I would go over scenarios over and over again in my mind, making things worse each time. Then, after speaking with an excellent friend and mentor about my constant anxiety; She suggested a “God Box.” A “God box” is to place all my worries. First, I would write down my issues, pray, and then deposit it in the box. Anytime I began to worry, or what she likes to call “mentally masturbate” (that’s why I love her so) I would look at my box and acknowledge that I had already given it to God.

Matthew 6:34 (NIV) ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Growing Faith Muscles

This small gesture brought me great peace. At the time it was hard for me to trust completely in the Lord. I still sometimes struggle with this. In the world, you are so used to leaning on yourself for solutions when problems arise. In Christ, He will carry your burdens (Who does that? Not your fellow man!) which are something I am not used too. Breaking old habits is hard. Being a child of God, is just that, a child where you must learn new skills.

Matthew 11:28 (NIV) “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

Pumping My Muscles

Faith, Grace, and Mercy seem to be a like a muscle you need to grow; You must continually exercise it to see results. My friend’s suggestion of a “God Box”, which I now call my “prayer box” was exactly what I needed to increase my faith and truly understand God’s grace. Constructing my first box was simple. I took a tissue box covered it in shimmery paper and cut a hole in the top. All my worries were placed in it. I would still worry; it wasn’t an instant fix, but instead of continually going over the scenarios the box reminded me to pray.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)¹⁶Rejoice always, ¹⁷pray continually, ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus

GrowingYourFaithMuscle

Seeing Results

Eventually, my stomach subsided, things began to get better, prayers were being answered, and I wasn’t worrying. Months went by, and I continued to exercise my new coping mechanism. One day, in the midst of prayer, God told me to open the box. First, I didn’t realize how much stuff I worried about. Secondly, I didn’t know how many prayers God had answered in less than three months. His grace and mercy brought to fruition in my life. Rewind two years later, prayer (and of course God) has changed my life, health, and stress. I still break out the box when I need to release my burdens. I also use it to praise Him when I open it up to see all the things that he has done for me. If only I knew of His sovereignty sooner (not just in theory but actual application) in my adult life.

GrowingYourFaithMuscle.

How do you handle your stress? How do you strengthen your faith?

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“Fear Based” vs. Grace Based” Parenting

Now that I look back I feel that my parents did the best that they could. A lot of their parenting were to create fear so that I would not have to endure some of the hardships they experienced due to their own mistakes. As parents we want our children to better than us and try to lead them in the right direction.

We love our children so much and we don’t want them to succumb to the world so we do the best we can to keep them away. We teach our children John 3:16 NLT “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. Sometimes being interpreted as we have follow Jesus not the world and those who do are bad or evil. We often forget about John 3:17 NLTGod sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

Fear and judgement is pervasive and condemning and does not create an attitude of love. My understanding is that we are to be disciples and follow God’s way which is loving, graceful and inclusive not exclusivity and discriminant.

We are surrounded by the lost and as Christians we are here to be a light for God. You can’t be a light for someone else if you are to busy putting out there light to let your own shine; by condemning or judging their behavior, conduct or appearance. Even if there actions are offensive we should be graceful. Rather than looking at what we don’t like or want for our family maybe we should see how we can teach or grow from these situations or circumstances. Maybe we can to teach our children how to be disciples of Christ to that “bad influence” instead of the “steer clear” attitude.The only way that we can do that for our children is to be that example.

Our job is to teach our children to love God and love others. We have to remember Mark 12:30-31 NLT ³⁰And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. ³¹The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Showing our incredible love for God that overflows to our incredible love for other people. We can teach our children how to be good disciples.

“Grace Based Parenting” it is defined as treating your kids as God’s treat His-with grace. There is a fine balance between teaching them to Fear the world and using legalistic standards of parenting; and total abandonment of the foundation of God by becoming so accepting that you do not create a environment for your children that sets a standard of how to live. Every situation needs checks and balances.

Think of what John 1:14 (NLT) ¹⁴So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness.And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son. You must have grace but still stick to God’s truth. They go hand in hand. By being a walking reflection of God’s love will condition your children to act within those limits. Without feeling that by falling short of His grace that the love is conditional on living beyond a level that is attainable.

Try to remember to be graceful with your love because if it wasn’t for God’s grace we would be in trouble. With all the dumb things as adults that we do and the fact that He still loves us. We can cut our children a little slack and strive to be just as graceful. Yes, teach your children about the Bible; set a acceptable living standard but reinforce it with grace.

I would define the difference of a “Grace Based” Christian Family as a family that shows God’s heart,a kind family, generous family, shows kindness and love in all that they do, they serve others, most importantly they are humble. The “grace based” Christian family is a loving family that loves and cares for others no matter what or how they live, they care about others and wants the best for others, they improve others quality of living by focusing upwards and outwards versus inward.

I would define “fear based” Christian family of fearing or being “sin managers”; by making sure that sin stays away from your family. Versus living and growing from situations where we innately fall into sin. If we strive to have Jesus loves for others, be merciful, gentle, and not fault others when they struggle through temptations, nonjudgmental.

Remembering Christ loves ALL no matter their disappointments, short givings.There is victory in Jesus who is the only way that we will overcome sin and grow and learn. When correcting your children do it through love.

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