Tag: parenting

Categories
christian mom christianity Faith Journey Family raising family

We Left the World

Flash Back Friday calls for a post that was originally published June 2015!  Through our faith we have managed to find a steady foundation for our family to  stand. We have lost some friends, gained some and opened our eyes to a new life in Christ.  Together as a family we work steadfast to be a light for God in all we do. Although, we may fail we are no longer living in the world that we once were.

I have not always been a mother fueled by her faith. Not long ago, I was a mother trying to raise two little girls to be the best they could be in this lost world.  We were living in the world. We were believers but we didn’t have a relationship with God. We would say our goodnight prayers but that was about all I had taught my children about God.

As our family grew from just one little girl to two little girls and then three. A yearning of fullfillment plagued me. Living in the world was no longer satisfying. I needed more purpose, more substance, I needed God in my everyday life. My life changed from needing God in my life; to wanting God in my life. Once my mindset changed life how I knew it quickly transformed.

One day, I decided that praying for God to be apart of my families life wasn’t going to cut it. We needed fellowship, praise and education. I began searching for a church to attend. It didn’t take me long because God already had a home for me.

Guided by Him I went to church one Sunday which was different for me because I was raised to attend church on Saturday. Although, I was raised different everything felt so right.

During the last worship song the Holy Spirit took over. I was filled with overwhelming joy. Then, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me clearly “you are home”.  That was the beginning of my family leaving the world and beginning to serve Christ.

My daughter’s love our Church and participate and serve wherever they can. I too serve in the Children’s Ministry and attend small groups and Bible study. I have made fast friends and had some deep connection with some women. My husband is also more faithful and leads our family everyday in prayer before we go our separate ways.

It’s all so amazing what God has done in our lives. My husband once said, “we used to have a happy home but now our home is filled with pure joy.” The difference is uncanny and hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it. My marriage is stronger than ever and I now feel that I am living in purpose instead of day to day. This journey that my family is on through God’s grace is only getting started.

Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on things above not on earthly things.”

How did you bring your family to Christ? Were you always a Christian family or did you make come from living in the world too?

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
Categories
Self

What About Me (time)?

 

FaithFueled Friday

1 Timothy 4:8
For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

As a Mom of three little diva’s (Divine, Inspirational, Virtuous, Anointed). I find that daily “Me” time with the Lord is essential to raising them, but short little momcation is a bonus. I used to fill every aspect of the day to managing my household. My only break would be a few necessary bathroom breaks, a quick shower or maybe five hours of sleep that I would get each night. That would leave me spent, stressed, resentful and often a “not nice” mommy often.

Mommy time

My middle daughter often says “What-about-me;” it’s one word for her. Anytime her sister gets something, does something, or goes somewhere; My Lailah pipes up, “Whataboutme?”. During a particular day, where many prayers of patience and wisdom were said, it dawned on me. “Whataboutme”? When do I get me time? What would I do with it? What do I need from it? I need some peace, serenity, clarity and sometimes guidance in my life. Where can I find that for free (therapy is not cheap)? Time with God.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

After rearranging my days, waking up a little earlier. I now start my day off devoting to the Lord for 30 minutes, if I am lucky an hour. The results are amazing. I began reading a chapter of Proverbs and reflecting. Then, I started buying women’s book Bible studies and doing those. Then I graduated to inductively studying books of the Bible. Every morning I retreat to my space on my back porch early in the morning when it’s just me and the birds chirping. There I get exclusive “Me” time with my Father. Pure soul contentedness when I take the time to devote with Jesus gives me the peace the I need to overcome the daily annoyance of mommyhood.

Mommy.time

Psalm 95:6 Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;

We are taught to spend time in our Bible daily, but when I devote for 30 minutes in the morning somehow, it gives me the tools to use later that day. Sometimes it is exactly what I need other times it is exactly what I am going to need.

2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has given us everything needed for life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us by his glory and goodness.

Now, I don’t feel so warned down, short tempered I can show people and especially my children in the most pivotal moments. I feel like I am a priority in my families life even though sometimes they don’t express their appreciation because I know I am a child of God’s and His priority. That 30 minutes a day fills me up so I can tackle the next 16 hours of hard labor as a little diva’s household manager.

There are still days I am holding on by a prayer (because divas’ can be divas sometimes). Stressful days are less frequent, and I now can show grace. Each morning I am reminded of His grace.

I can show unconditional love and patience with my husband because of the unconditional love and patience God shows my family and me every day. All because I give myself a little me time every day. I feel when honoring your temple it doesn’t mean just to eat right and physical activity. It’s also your mind and your spirit which is an important part of who you are. Those things need nurturing and exercise too.

Mommy.time

Colossians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

How do you deal with parenthood stress? Do you get me time and how do you like to spend it?

Share
Pin1
Share
1 Shares
Categories
Faith Journey

“Fear Based” vs. Grace Based” Parenting

Now that I look back I feel that my parents did the best that they could.  A lot of their parenting were to create fear so that I would not have to endure some of the hardships they experienced due to their own mistakes. As parents we want our children to better than us and try to lead them in the right direction.

We love our children so much and we don’t want them to succumb to the world so we do the best we can to keep them away. We teach our children John 3:16 NLT “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. Sometimes being interpreted as we have follow Jesus not the world and those who do are bad or evil. We often forget about John 3:17 NLT God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

Fear and judgement is pervasive and condemning and does not create an attitude of love. My understanding is that we are to be disciples and follow God’s way which is loving, graceful and inclusive not exclusivity and discriminant.

We are surrounded by the lost and as Christians we are here to be a light for God. You can’t be a light for someone else if you are to busy putting out there light to let your own shine; by condemning or judging their behavior, conduct or appearance. Even if there actions are offensive we should be graceful. Rather than looking at what we don’t like or want for our family maybe we should see how we can teach or grow from these situations or circumstances. Maybe we can to teach our children how to be disciples of Christ to that “bad influence” instead of the “steer clear” attitude.The only way that we can do that for our children is to be that example.

Our job is to teach our children to love God and love others. We have to remember Mark 12:30-31 NLT 30 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. 31 The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Showing our incredible love for God that overflows to our incredible love for other people. We can teach our children how to be good disciples.

“Grace Based Parenting” it is defined as treating your kids as God’s treat His-with grace. There is a fine balance between teaching them to Fear the world and using legalistic standards of parenting; and total abandonment of the foundation of God by becoming so accepting that you do not create a environment for your children that sets a standard of how to live. Every situation needs checks and balances.

Think of what John 1:14 (NLT) 14 So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness.And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.  You must have grace but still stick to God’s truth. They go hand in hand. By being a walking reflection of God’s love will condition your children to act within those limits.  Without feeling that by falling short of His grace that the love is conditional on living beyond a level that is attainable.

Try to remember to be graceful with your love because if it wasn’t for God’s grace we would be in trouble. With all the dumb things as adults that we do and the fact that He still loves us. We can cut our children a little slack and strive to be just as graceful. Yes, teach your children about the Bible; set a acceptable living standard but reinforce it with grace.

I would define the difference of a “Grace Based” Christian Family as a family that shows God’s heart,a kind family, generous family, shows kindness and love in all that they do, they serve others, most importantly they are humble. The “grace based” Christian family is a loving family that loves and cares for others no matter what or how they live, they care about others and wants the best for others, they improve others quality of living by focusing upwards and outwards versus inward.

I would define  “fear based” Christian family of fearing or being “sin managers”; by making sure that sin stays away from your family. Versus living and growing from situations where we innately fall into sin. If we strive to have Jesus loves for others, be merciful, gentle, and not fault others when they struggle through temptations, nonjudgmental.

Remembering Christ loves ALL no matter their disappointments, short givings.There is victory in Jesus who is the only way that we will overcome sin and grow and learn. When correcting your children do it through love.

 

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
Categories
Faith Journey Mommie Support

Where are we creating faith in our families?

Where are we creating faith in our families? I ask this question because I heard a sad but not startling statistic which I feel that I was apart of it one point in my life.  69-94% of Christian children raised in the faith leave the faith within 2 years after high school. The number one reason those young adults leave is due to “hypocrisy”. I was one of those young adults. I was raised in a very Christian religious home but when I went off to my Christian college about the middle of my freshmen year I left my faith and sought out my spiritual guidance in the world (and got very lost for 13 years).

 

I was apart of the ”drug problem” that most families subject on their children. I was “drug” to church every week to dress up and show up but never having that same experience at home through study or prayer. My family was Monday-Friday sinners and weekend Christians. When it came to having my own freedom to choose I chose the world and not to my faith. Now that I am an adult and very faithful I don’t want the same for my children. I want my three daughters to live a life for Christ for the rest of their life so I was again researching how do I break the cycle.

Where do I create faith? I found an answer through a parenting bible study by Tim Kimmel Raising Kids with Faith that Lasts. This lead me to the word Deuteronomy 6:1-2 (NLT) “These are the commands, decrees, and regulations that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you. You must obey them in the land you are about to enter and occupy, 2 and you and your children and grandchildren must fear the Lord your God as long as you live. If you obey all his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life. There is one true God and we are called to live in a loving relationship with God.

Now when you are in love, everyone knows it. Not only is it written all over your face, your acts but it’s all that you can talk about.  As we live our lives as Christian parents are we showing our love for God? Children are very observant and they pick up quick the easiest way to see if you’re expressing your love is to ask your children?  They will tell you right away. So, ask them Who is Mommy in love with? If they are to little you’re in luck you can now start everyday showing your child the love affair that you have with our Lord. They will never know anything different and just like the little sponges that they are they too will be in love.

We as Christian parents must encompass being a Christian as an identity something that cannot be separated with us.  This is where our children’s faith begin. Deuteronomy 6:6-8 (NLT)  6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders.9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. 

I think sometimes we rely on the Church to teach our children because we feel ill equipped but we have more than enough tools to set the foundation of faith for your children.  Be in love with God every single day. Talk about him at home. Show it when you go about your day. Pray with your children, study with them, and show them the love. Do all these things and then also go to church.  This will foster the relationship add fellowship and reinforce the things that you learn and study at home.  Faith cannot be taught to our children it must be caught, similar to a cold. Infect your family with faith and love.

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares