one another – FaithFueled™ Mom

I don’t think I realized my need for a community or friends until I left college. When you’re in a social setting that surrounds you with opportunities to create friendships, it’s easy. Then I got married, had a baby, and moved six hours away from my friends, family and the life I had made. I went through seasons of life in a flash. We lived in Massachusetts and my husband was following his career aspirations and worked long hours. I stayed at home with our newborn daughter and although I wasn’t alone I felt very much alone. It took years to make friends, which were just mom friends of children that my daughter grew up with. There were a few lasting bonds as our children grew older but nothing like my good ole college days.

A change of heart

Six years later, we moved back to my hometown and I reconnected with old friends from high school. Then, I began to follow Christ and suddenly my love affair with the Lord began to come between my friendship. As I became more acquainted with Christ the people I chose to spend my time with weren’t those old high school buddies.

1 Corinthians 15:33 ³³Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

I needed to be with people who had similar interests and beliefs and had more to offer me than a high bill at the bar during happy hour. I needed people who believed in what I believed, Jesus. Again, that yearning for companionship began and I started to look at the only place I knew, church.

Being new to Christ, I was amazed at how hard it was to find people who I could connect with beyond the pleasantries of chit chat at church. I finally thought I had connected with another mother of three children who ages were the same as mine. It was great to have someone to relate to on multiple levels. I confided in her struggles and suddenly she severed ties. I am still not sure why and it is very awkward at church; I could have questioned myself, what I say? Did I do something?

There are no perfect people: Especially Christian church goers

Matthew 15:8-9 “‘These people honor me with their lips,but their hearts are far from me.⁹They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’

Of course, there is more detail to the story but it’s not worth getting into. I did learn though, not every one at church has the same heart; others have ulterior motives. I later learned that this women has a history of befriending new members and then abruptly ending the friendship; using the guise of friendship to help grow her direct sales business and then inexplicably moving on. (We all have our issues, no perfect people right?)

Needless to say, I was disappointed but we shouldn’t give up.

Hebrews 10:24-25 ²⁴And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Someone for everyone

I began attending women’s bible studies at our church, hoping I could find women in Christ to learn, grow and bond with.”Turning the other cheek,” on my past experiences and moving on. Through women’s bible stduy, I would fullfill the need for fellowship while growing in Christ-win-win, right? In my group their was a good mix of new believers and old but I couldn’t relate to the women personally (spiritually,yes) and it wasn’t the companionship I was seeking.

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise,for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Although, the knowledge was what I needed in my spiritual walk. After a year with the study group, I did find someone that was also seeking a group of women to fellowship with. We had similar personalities but in different seasons of life. God kept connecting us in various ways to fulfill our need for a friendship with a women in Christ. She wasn’t what I thought I was looking for but she was exactly what I needed.