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Lost in Pursuit

roadlesstraveled

Matthew 7:13 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy[a] that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.

Pursuing Popularity

My life has changed so much in the years that I have found Jesus.  I used to live my life as a popularity contest.  Who could I please, impress so that I could be a part of the crowd, a crowd? What could I say or do to gain their acceptance? It was how I lived my life.  Then I found Jesus and it wasn’t an immediate change it was a slow transition that picked up momentum as I grew in Christ.   Some people have the “come to Jesus moment” its and immediate change and I have witnessed it, I am just not one of those people.  The more I grew in my relationship with Jesus, the less I needed to be accepted by people and crowds.

John 15:5-8 (ESV) 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.

Limiting myself through misconceptions

I thought being a follower of Jesus would result in restrictions and confinement to live under rules and regulations.  If only I would have done my research and realize there is freedom in Jesus.  Living in the world we are bound by rules; social, moral, ethical, political, society and governing rules. Living in Jesus we are bound by love, unconditional love.

Galatians 3:23-25 (NIV) 23 Before the coming of this faith,we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed. 24 So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. 25 Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian.

Just like my quest to be popular and I wanted to do, say, and act a certain way. The same can be said for my quest for the kingdom. I still want to do, say and act a certain way but it’s not because of rules, it’s because of a change of heart.  There is a switch when you choose to follow and accept Jesus as your Savior.  I always thought people were romanticizing the idea but now that I follow, I realize its not all that I had made it up to be, it’s so much better.

Lost Among People

Unconditional Acceptance

God really does change you for the good. One of the best part is that God changes you no matter where you are, what your past was or how you got here.  He can change stubborn 80 year old man, a rebellious 19 year old young adult, or a now humbled 30 something year old women who has ran from God for years (me).  It can be like a light switch off and on or can be a gradual appreciation and acceptance.  It’s never to late and no one is excluded. Unlike people, God takes you for who you are.  Flaws welcomed; foul mouths, step on up; addicts, He has something for you too; those seeking acceptance, you have come to the right place! He loves us unconditionally, although we were made in His image there is nothing like the original, God.  The biggest fear I had about being too “religious” was guilt, judgement and condemnation of people in the Church. My concerns were misplaced and not about God but was still people pleasing and how those in the Church would accept me.  The very same people who are flawed enough to judge and condemn someone trying to enter his kingdom, even though they walked and lived in sin daily themselves was the ones I was concerned about.

Galatians 1:10 (ESV) For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Pursue God

Don’t let people ruin it for God

I feel like people sometimes ruin it for God. They make it harder for those who are new to get to Him. I think that is why televangelist are so popular and accepted. You don’t have to go through the trials of the people of the world to receive a message. You can turn on your television, podcast and over streams of media and received the message directly. If you are new to Christ and you are struggling sometime people of the Church can make it intimidating by being judgmental or unwelcoming.We have to overcome this and just go to the source, God, that’s where you will find the unconditional love and total fulfillment. You will never be fulfilled by people they will always let you down. I still pursue acceptance and still want to join the crowd but it’s a different crowd that is made up of only three.  I am living and pursuing the acceptance on the Son, Father and Holy Spirit and in return it is make me whole, builds me up and completely satisfies all my needs. Have you ever sought popularity? How is God helping you overcome your pursuits of the wrong things?

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Battle of Motherhood christian mom christianity Faith Journey Family raising family

Raised in the Church not Christ

Church Rules

Colossians 2:20-23 (NIV) 20 Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules:21“Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”?22 These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings.23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

Raised in the Church

The legalistic church I grew up in focused on rules; You had to do this, dress like this,eat this, say this to get into the kingdom of heaven. For a rebellious teen and young adult this was something I had no interest in. It wasn’t until I became an adult started studying Gods word that I realized Jesus didn’t care about the rules. The rules were meant for people to follow to control them. Jesus cares about the inside your heart and where you faith lies by following man made rules; keeps you focused on the outside and doesn’t allow you to grow on the inside.

Girl Pretending

Playing the Part

Matthew 23:5a (NIV) “Everything they do is done for people to see:
Some people like me inherit their faith; born into their faith but not something that they have chosen for themselves.  You grow up learning how to act like a Christian, talk like a Christian and you are honoring your heritage.  You are learning how to play the part but never surrendering your heart to Jesus and falling in love.  Then, there are those who learn how to be a Christian. They can recall scripture, dress modestly, know the prayers and how to pray. They are simply going through the motions never really committed but just keeping up appearances. Either way, whether they are inheritance or reluctant participants of Christianity; they are just following the rules and not truly serving God.
People don't want to hear the truth
Hypocrisy in the church
Just because you call yourself a Christian doesn’t mean you are a follower of Christ.  Hypocrites, yes I said it, hypocrites is probably one of the reasons I left my faith when I was a young adult. I was apart of a startling statistic about Christian youth; 69-94% of Christian children raised in the faith leave the faith within 2 years after high school. The number one reason those young adults leave is due to “hypocrisy”. When I was growing up I was apart of the “drug problem”  that families who pass on the legacy of Christianity subject their children to. I was “drug” to church every week to dress up and show up but never having that same experience at home through study or prayer. My family was Monday-Friday sinners and weekend Christians. When it came to having my own freedom to choose I chose the world and not to my faith.
Raised in Christ
Matthew 23:3b But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach.
Now, that I have found my way back to Christ and am in love. I am making a conscious effort not to repeat the cycle with my children. I am trying to teach them to have the armor of God and learn and know the truth for themselves; so that they may not be led astray.  I want to teach them to show grace to others just as Jesus shows us grace everyday. I want them to see that I have a relationship with God and not just going through the motions. Now when you are in love, everyone knows it. Not only is it written all over your face, your acts but it’s all that you can talk about. Children are very observant and they pick up quick. The easiest way to see if you’re expressing your love is to ask your children;They will tell you right away.
We as Christian parents, must encompass being a Christian as an identity something that cannot be separated from us. Not a character we play at Church but a person we are day in and day out our identity. We have bad days as parents and as people and that is when I express God’s unconditional love. I show them how prayer can help you in times of stress, forgiveness, as well as, times to rejoice and praise. I am determined to give my girls the tools they need so that they do no become a statistic.
As we live our lives as Christian parents are we showing our love for God?
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Living in or on purpose?

Kind of Choice

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

What I thought I wanted

Day in and day out, we are moving, are day and our lives by choices.  From the moment we wake up, till the moment we rest; Each day a set of new choices.  What do I wear? eat? Do I exercise? Stay in bed? Do I say this or that?   When I was living in the world,  my choices were impulsive. I was getting by day-to-day just trying to get through the day, moving ahead and living in purpose. I didn’t stop to take into account what I was doing till after it was done.  I could easily be influenced by outside circumstances and was going with the masses.  Looking back I was living a very meaningless life not making a true difference. Although, my intentions were to make a difference and I thought I was achieving. I wasn’t making true connections with anyone or thing.  When you live in purpose,you are just going through the motions; doing what is popular.  It wasn’t until I woke up and chose more for my life, a legacy for my daughter and a positive contribution to society.

Day to Day

What I really wanted

When I started living on purpose the mundane day-to-day became something more.  I am not going to lie it became difficult in all the right ways. I had to be more conscious in my actions, speech, dress. I had to think ahead and plan more and I had to place more direction and guidance in God.  Living by impulse is easy, living intentionally is hard; you might set out daily to tackle your to do list but that is not intentional. Tackling your to do list is just taking care of your daily task that need to be done.  How does that impact your salvation? How does that encourage others to consider their salvation? I thought I was positively  contributing to society but in all actuality I was serving myself.  Getting the things done to make me more comfortable to achieve my goals and to execute my plans.

Accepting I was wrong

When I found God it was self-serving at first, I was looking for a ways to ease my pain. Make my life better, fix my life but as I started to grow in Him I discovered that was not fulfilling. I wasn’t really content until I started spreading His word, shining His light was much more powerful, purposeful and that contribution to society that I was looking for.

Psalms 63:1 You God, are my God, earnestly I see you; I thirst you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.

I think the hardest part was realizing that my own desires and dreams weren’t getting me where I thought I wanted to be. It’s hard to think of others and not myself.  When I realized that His dreams far exceed anything that I could dream myself.

Different Choice

It’s better than you think

To live day-to-day thinking, how can I be a light while check off my to-do’s? Years ago, if someone would have said to me, “Leave all you know,dreams,aspirations and follow Jesus. It will be the most fulfilling thing you’ve ever done and you will still achieve all your dreams and more. I would have said, “Put down the purple kool-aid,” but I am here today to tell you, it’s true! (I don’t even like Kool-aid, so I am not sipping, I promise just sharing what I have found to be true.) It’s hard following, learning, being obedient, going against your nature but it’s the best thing that I have ever done.  My days are no longer mundane they are meaningful and rich. My dreams are not a struggle its just a different path and I am no longer living in purpose. I am living on purpose-this is the life I was meant (we were meant) to live.

Psalm 71:8 My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long.

Are you willing to make a sacrifice for Christ and take a leap of faith? If not, what is holding you back?

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christian mom christianity Faith Journey Mommie Support

Meant to be together

alone

I don’t think I realized my need for a community or friends until I left college.  When you’re in a social setting that surrounds you with opportunities to create friendships, it’s easy.  Then I got married, had a baby, and moved six hours away from my friends, family and the life I had made. I went through seasons of life in a flash. We lived in Massachusetts and my husband was following his career aspirations and worked long hours. I stayed at home with our newborn daughter and although I wasn’t alone I felt very much alone.  It took years to make friends, which were just mom friends of children that my daughter grew up with.  There were a few lasting bonds as our children grew older but nothing like my good ole college days.

A change of heart

Six years later, we moved back to my hometown and I reconnected with old friends from high school.  Then, I began to follow Christ and suddenly my love affair with the Lord began to come between my friendship. As I became more acquainted with Christ the people I chose to spend my time with weren’t those old high school buddies.

1 Corinthians 15:33 33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

I needed to be with people who had similar interests and beliefs and had more to offer me than a high bill at the bar during happy hour.  I needed people who believed in what I believed, Jesus.  Again, that yearning for companionship began and I started to look at the only place I knew, church.

Being new to Christ, I was amazed at how hard it was to find people who I could connect with beyond the pleasantries of chit chat at church.  I finally thought I had connected with another mother of three children who ages were the same as mine.  It was great to have someone to relate to on multiple levels.  I confided in her struggles and suddenly she severed ties.  I am still not sure why and it is very awkward at church; I could have questioned myself, what I say? Did I do something?

fellowshipb

There are no perfect people: Especially Christian church goers

Matthew 15:8-9 “‘These people honor me with their lips,but their hearts are far from me.9 They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’

Of course, there is more detail to the story but it’s not worth getting into.  I did learn though, not every one at church has the same heart; others have ulterior motives. I later learned that this women has a history of befriending new members and then abruptly ending the friendship; using the guise of friendship to help grow her direct sales business and then inexplicably moving on. (We all have our issues, no perfect people right?)

Needless to say, I was disappointed but we shouldn’t give up.

Hebrews 10:24-25 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

fellowship

Someone for everyone

I began attending women’s bible studies at our church, hoping I could find women in Christ to learn, grow and bond with.”Turning the other cheek,” on my past experiences and moving on. Through women’s bible stduy, I would fullfill the need for fellowship while growing in Christ-win-win, right?  In my group their was a good mix of new believers and old but I couldn’t relate to the women personally (spiritually,yes) and it wasn’t the companionship I was seeking.

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise,for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Although, the knowledge was what I needed in my spiritual walk.  After a year with the study group, I did find someone that was also seeking a group of women to fellowship with.  We had similar personalities but in different seasons of life.  God kept connecting us in various ways to fulfill our need for a friendship with a women in Christ.  She wasn’t what I thought I was looking for but she was exactly what I needed.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,just as in fact you are doing

Do you think it is important to have Christian friends or it doesn’t matter what they believe? Is it hard for you too to find Christian friends?

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Giving Glory not Seeking Attention

Road

1 John 2:15-17 (NIV) 15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

The Wrong Road to Success

When I was in the world, I constantly sought acceptance and recognition from others. Striving to keep up with the Jones’ to prove to others I was equal to them and their success.  Never measuring up to the constantly raising ceiling of status and fearing mediocrity.  Then, I accepted Jesus who unconditionally loved me whether I was poor or rich.  No matter my social status I was perfection in His eyes. My desire to possess things I couldn’t afford put my life and marriage under emotional and physical stress.  The more I focused on what I didn’t have the more anxious and depressed I became.  Then, I grew more in Jesus.  I realized that only He could create the wealth and comfort I sought. Only through Him what I yearned was easily possible.  Jesus fed thousands with only 5 loaves and 2 fishes; made wine out of water. He could surely help me pursue my dreams.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

crossroads

Finding My Way

All I had to do was connect with Him he was all the acceptance I need. All I had to do was glorify Him for all He has done, which should be easy since He has been the only one to actually do something for me by giving His life.  Then, I realized Jesus love for me. With His unfailing love my life and has been renewed.  I now am grateful for His sacrifice which has brought contentment and harmony to my life. I no longer have to prove to man I am worthy.  I have to praise Him for making me worthy.  I am now content with wherever I am in life because I know that no matter what I achieve or have on this earth, the best is yet to come. With that understandings brings a new awareness of how beautiful my life truly is and makes me want to be a light for Jesus. To show how God’s glory is shining through me.

Isaiah 55:12-13(NIV)12 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown,for an everlasting sign,that will endure forever.”

glory

Continuing on the right path

Now that I know this realization, I still struggle with staying focused on Christ. Old habits are hard to break and I still sometimes look at the greener grass on the other side of the fence. Although, I know that it is the same grass I am tempted to want it. I have to rely on Christ to keep me focused. I need him daily in my life to keep me from my own desires to want what others have. I try to find encouragement in the word. Being new to Christ I try to learn the word and am amazed at how that day’s devotion or a post I see on Social media is calling me back to where I need to be. I have asked mentors when will the struggle end and it won’t. “The struggle is real” but God’s grace is redeeming and without the struggle I don’t think that I would have the appreciation that I have.

Galatians 5:16 (NIV) 16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Is it hard to put your own pride aside and do for God? Do you seek guidance from God when setting to achieve goals? What do you do when you find yourself falling into old habits?

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