Category: christian mom

Through the Seasons

Reflecting back I realized what I’ve been through; how I got through; is why I am who I am today. When I was in school, my professor asked, “In ten years from now do you think that you are going to have the same belief system and values? Or, are you pretty much going to remain the same? Two of us said, “No” the majority of the class said, “Yes, the would have the same beliefs and values.” I was one of the two who said, “No.”

I know that I will value and believe some of the same things in 10 years, but I don’t think I could be the same. You get older, wiser, have more to value or a better definition of what it is and then I thought back to who I was ten years ago. That girl and this woman do not have the same values.

Apparently, I have a conviction and a strong belief in God now which I didn’t have before. I wasn’t always a Jesus Girl. The same enthusiasm I have for my faith I had in living in the world. I was a party girl searching for peace and comfort in all the wrong places and things. I was living daily anxious and frustrated, and then I tried something different. It happens we grow up, and we experience life and the seasons and looking back I have to say that through the seasons I have learned a few things that I will keep through the next ten years and hope to add more:

Season of Trust

There was a season that my family went through that we had nothing but to rely on and trust in God to get us through. When I say nothing, I mean that very literally “we had nothing.” Everything had been stripped from us along with our pride and humility. I like to say, “we ran as far as the world could take us.” Living like the “Jones‘” left us at our rock bottom. Only then did we begin to trust in God how we should with total and complete confidence because we didn’t have anything other option.

Looking back it was that “Fix it Jesus” mentality like, “Okay, Lord I’ve done everything that I could do. I’ve messed everything up, and I could use your help to bail me out.” Like the kind, good Father that He is He not only delivered us but that reliance and trust in Him brought my family into an intimate relationship with God. It was when we became FaithFueled.

Season of Be Still

Through God’s mercy we began to rebound, but then God started to prune another area in my temple; obedience. God sat me down, shut me up, and through devotion, Bible study, prayer, and worship taught me to wait on God.Through much persistence, God asked me to “Be Still.” I was speaking with a good friend one day, and she said something that made me think of this season.

Before Jesus kept the 12 disciples very close to Him before He would be crucified and then send them out into the world to evangelize. During my season of stillness, all I had was to take care of my family and dive headfirst into the Word. I studied inductively, attended Bible Study I submerged myself in the Word and learned so much about “learning the Bible.” It is now how I study daily, and I feel crucial in my daily walk with God. I look back on those two years and remember being ungrateful for the season of rest and God continually reminding me it was but a moment. Hindsight 20/20 because I don’t think I’d have the stamina for that season. It’s also when I was very depressed and abused food for comfort. Then I learned about prayer.

Season of Prayer

Everyone knows how to pray. There’s all kind of prayers: rehearsed prayers you say for grace or your kids know, “fix it Jesus” prayers, “genie” prayers, and then there’s prayer. Having an intimate conversation opening your heart to God with your gratitude and appeal. At the time, of course, I didn’t realize the power of prayer. I knew praying was talking to God but until I started journaling, researching and doing some heavy praying; it’s all that people say and more. Like anything you have to practice the skill often and do it often in this case-pray often or (“Pray without ceasing,” 1 Thess 5;16)

I used to be one of those people who say, I’m praying for you and honestly, didn’t always do it. Then I started reading, praying and reading more and praying more and learned. Praying for someone is the easier yet most powerful thing you can do for a person.

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” Matthew 21:22

Now, if I say I am praying for you if I don’t do it that moment which I usually do because it only takes a moment. We waste our time on so many other things taking 2-3 minutes to pray for a friend, family, peace; strength isn’t much. When you journal or track them and realize that God is busier than you think because He does answer. I have a journal and a prayer box.

Boxing it all Up

My journal idea came from a friend, Antracia Mooring who writes on her blog Unfolding Words. I adopted the approach and journal often, (not daily I’m working on that” and looking back on answered prayers is such an uplifting feeling. Then my prayer box came from a friend and mentored introduced me to the idea of putting my prayers in a box and then giving it to God. Well, I went through that box, and the amount of answered prayers was so confirming. All but one had been answered at the moment and some I had forgotten. It made me appreciate my season even more.

I think God likes to surprise us like we want to give to do for our kids or loved ones. We do those things for the look of excitement on their face and the joy. When we’re blessed with an answered prayer, I don’t know about you, but I jump around dancing and singing like a child who just got a surprise. Its unexpected out of the blue and nothing that I have expected that’s when I know, “Yep, God that was you and thank you!” I have grown in patience and intimacy with God through this season and continue to glean from it.

Season of Focus & Legacy

I am now in a season of focus it’s what was my “word” for 2016 and has carried on into 2017. With all that has fone on this year (College, Started working after 12 years of staying at home, three daughters and Prepping for my first Figure Competition). I need to remember moment by moment to focus on God first and foremost and let Him lead me through the rest. This year in prayer and different conversations and signs the word “legacy” has presented itself. With all life busyness, I don’t have much hindsight about this season as of yet, but I have been learning some new “skills” for strengthening my focus and will probably be sharing my journey. Regardless of what season looks like; doing life with God has made it worth every trial and triumph.

“Set your eyes on the things above and not the things of this earth.” Colossians 3:2

When looking back do you see a theme to your seasons in life?

Original Post 1.16.17 updated

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Tags faith, God, Jesus, look back, pray, prayer, reflection

christian mom christianity Faith & Self Care

Disconnected Community

I haven’t done a FaithFueled™ Friday in a long time it’s been so busy with school that writing is the last thing I want to do lately. After a phone call with my friend I had to dust off the keyboard and share my thoughts. The other day I was speaking to a friend who just moved to a new state. She is having a hard time making new friends and thought the Church that her family decided to attend would be a great place to look.

The other day I was speaking to a friend who just moved to a new state. She is having a hard time making new friends and thought the Church that her family decided to attend would be a great place to look.

Why wouldn’t she believe that people of the same beliefs would want to fellowship?

She has been there for a few months and has made lots of effort to be apart of the Church community only to find there is no such thing as Church community at her Church at least not how we would have it defined.

“No one hangs out with anyone at Church they come on Sunday’s to worship and then go about their lives,” After she said that; it made me think my Church is very similar. We worship together on Sunday and then don’t check in until the following Sunday unless you’re in Bible Study. It’s kind of like out of sight out of mind which isn’t a real relationship but more of an acquaintance. We know very little about the people we worship with other than surface things. There is no longer that sense of community that the Church once brought to families and towns.

I have been attending my Church for four years and have only been invited to three families homes outside of a Church function; (and I include a Direct Sales party) if not, it would only be two invites in four years, and that’s just sad. Or is it? Is this commonplace? When did the Church stop being a place for believers to fellowship and do a life and a place to just check in every Sunday?

“Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” Acts 2:46-47

The church isn’t what it used to be!

In Biblical days churches, temples and synagogues were the epicenters for most towns. It’s where the taxes were collected, food was given, functions were held, and people gathered together daily to fellowship. Your Church family was like your extended family and the fellowship didn’t end on Sunday you saw these people in your life on a daily basis.

The Church is no longer an integral role in society. It’s not a place where people come to every day but usually on the day of worship. Then we go off to our own lives, friends, and families. The bonds that we uniquely share in our love for Jesus and place of worship is where it ends.

Check in at Church

Now, I have to be fair in the four years that I have been at my Church I have not done my due diligence to grow and foster relationships. In the first two years as I attended my Church I would reach out often. I had IF gatherings in my home, bible study walks. I tried everything to find some Christian friends and invite them to my home. The experiences were great but never really made connections; not long lasting.

Why? We have lives outside of our Church Identity. In our busy society, most of us are too busy for friends much less to deal with people in our Church that we barely know. We get caught up so much in our things to do that we don’t reach out to connect with each other. Not just at Church but in all of the society.

This is another way for the enemy to attack he makes us think that the people at the Church are wrong and we don’t need the Church for our salvation. We do! We need the accountability, reminders, and direction. People can be judgemental, but if you “don’t have any sinners who attend your Church, you may want to find a new Church.” That is why we are their for our redemption we are not perfect we are people we all have our struggles. Jesus loves us all the same and wants us to be together in His kingdom one day.

I can no longer justify other peoples actions affecting my church attendance. I don’t attend my Church for the weekly check-in but to get some time to praise, worship and honor God. Although, I don’t feel community there I still attend because of the Message. Recently, God has been pricking my heart on this subject I can’t continue to be like others and not followup. It’s one of those situations it’s never the job it’s always the people. There will always be people but if you expect people to treat you like you’d treat yourself you’re going to be disappointed. You must show grace to fellow members and even sometimes mercy.

Above everything, love one another earnestly, because love covers over many sins.

1 Peter 4:8

A lonely society

We are living in a lonely world. We can be surrounded by people but disengaged on our phone. We can stand in a crowd but feel utterly alone because we as a society are isolating ourselves. Filling our time with things to do instead of meaningless relationships when we are all seeking a meaningful relationship. We were meant to be with each other, lead each other, teach each other and do life together. The sad part is most of us feel alone yet we won’t reach out to each other to fill the loneliness.

“I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.”

1 Corinthians 1:10

Disconnected Community
It’s also apparent with the amount of time spent on Social media to fill our need for relationships. I am very guilty of that after I went to countless Bible studies, events, and opportunities to fellowship. I would leave each time knowing that the connection ended there so, I went to the internet.

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Romans 12:16

Need more than a Virtual Relationship

I am intentionally (and unintentionally) in lots of Facebook groups for all of my interest with the common motivator for joining is to connect with like-minded people. I have also been in Virtual Bible Studies, Mentorships, Accountability Groups and we all were there for the same thing companionship but if you were to get us in a room together not one of us would exchange numbers. Or, actually, follow up to get to know the person better.

I feel we are all living surface lives just doing enough to touch the surface never really getting to know someone. If we did if we followed up with connections, made phone calls and not text or emails. Sat down in person one on one and got to know somebody we may find that best friend that we crave.

So, what is keeping us from continuing these connections?

Get Up and Do Something

Effort and energy we have become such a lazy society that we don’t want the work of building and maintaining relationships we want surface friends. You can log on and log off when you want. You can only share the good and never the bad. There is no threat of if they’ll like you for who you are because you give them the who they want to see. The same goes for Church you show up dressed nice, proclaim your hallelujahs, make small chat before and after church and never follow up. Never put the extra effort or work it takes to create a community.

“For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ, we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.”
Romans 12:4-5

Why not start now?

We need to unite people and not just over what hot political topic there is but we need to unite amongst ourselves if we are going to be God’s army. The enemy wants us to live separate, be surface and vain. He is trying to make us think “we’re connected” through our disconnected online relationship, but we are fooling ourselves. God has told us to fellowship together, sharpen each other and prepare to do battle together.

One day at Church invite someone over for brunch, get to know someone a little better than Sunday chit-chat. Reach out to them for coffee or a park date to learn and possibly grow in Christ together. Behind the screen, connections can be valuable, but we need to be with people in real time and do real life.

Don’t wait for the next Church function to reach out to your brother or sister in Christ. Although, the Church is no longer the epicenter of our life. Christ is, and we need to love each other as Jesus loves us. We need to know each other because we need to be prepared to unite and stand up when called. We must mend the brokenness of our Christian communities and keep the tight-knit and secure. The way we do that? You, start today and reach out to someone in your Church. Let’s start living a life of a real community.

How do you maintain community in your church? Do you find it hard to maintain relationships?

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christian mom christianity Faith & Self Care Faith Journey Weightloss Journey

Dressing the New Me

I remember when….. always dates you when you start off something like that, but I do; I remember when I was a self-proclaimed fashionista. I don’t know if I was stylish, but had a sense of style, and then I became a Mom. With each lil diva, I fell into a different sense of style. It happens, you change, your lifestyle changes, your body changes and so does your wardrobe.

Getting Summer Ready

So, here I am looking at the summer fashions thinking I am finally smaller its what I have worked for; right? I’m going to go to the store grab an Easter dress and a few things that don’t come in Small, Medium or Large or my personal favorite One Size Fits all (which anyone who has been bigger girls it should be One Size Fits Most). You know the clothes you just pick your favorite color and put it on. The “oh so forgiving” stretchy material and go about your day. Well, here I am again shopping for the summer season while currently in a new life season.

Misperceived “Small” Section

Although, last year when I was hoping to be thinner to shop in the “smaller” girl section this year it’s just overwhelming and I have no clue where to begin. I thought shopping for a smaller body in the smaller section with the old perception that the smaller clothes are better but guess what? Nope, there is not a new sense of satisfaction with the smaller section.

Mama was right, “I hate that!”

The fitting room mirrors are the same in the smaller sections as they are in the plus size section. Unforgiving, unflattering and self-esteem were demoting. So, does that mean that they reflection in the mirror doesn’t depend on a size but depends on a person in the clothes? Didn’t our Mama say that to us maybe once or twice before, I hate it when my Mama is right. In this case, though I wish she were wrong I wish that my outside reflection would silence my inner thoughts.

1 Peter 4:12 12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.

Anxiety Robs Your Joy

I was diagnosed with anxietybdisorder when she was 25 I understand the demon that can turn good intentions into mental breakdowns. Anxiety disorder looks different on everyone and is handled differently by everyone. As of lately, my anxiety has been at all time high. I have a lot of things going on in this season of my life. I have also realized that although my faith has grown in many areas of my life trust, dependence, and reliance. Anxiety is where I allow the enemy to get to me. Especially, lately since recommitting myself to Christ until January.

I hadn’t had a panic attack in years (probably 3 or 4) and the in January before taking my NASM Certification I had a full out, time stopping panic attack before I left to take my test. It’s been a long while like I said since that has happened and I had forgotten how debilitation they can be it took days to get back to my positive mindset and ever since I have, to be honest, I have had a fear of my old friend anxiety creeping back in.

Growing through Disorder

I received two reminders; one, I realize how far I had grown in Christ because my instant reaction was unceasing prayers until the overwhelming feelings of fear, uncertainty, inadequacy and tears lots of tears went away. Second, it was a wake-up call on how I need to cling to God and get closer to Him. The snooze button has been shortening my time more and more in the morning with God, and my life has continued to go nonstop meaning I probably should be waking up earlier instead of later to give me the peace, clarity, and direction I feel I receive from my morning studies.

John 10:10 (ESV) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Getting back to my Basic Needs

I am in the homestretch of finishing my associates in Fitness and Exercise Science. I have decided to continue to get a Bachelor’s Degree in the field. I am still training to compete in an NPC Figure Division Competiton in October. I will am teaching a few group fitness classes in the next few weeks, launched my soul project (I do believe it will change women’s lives) Bibles and Bootcamps and I am a mother of a 13,9 and two-year-old and wife of a teacher, basketball coach, and entrepreneur.

Let’s just say my anxious moments are more frequent and my time is more limited which is probably why something fun and exciting as clothes shopping is bringing overwhelming anxious feeling; because that’s what anxiety does, takes something meant to be harmless and makes it so much more. I was reminded that prioritizing my time with God is essential these days.)

Finding Peace in Jesus

No matter what I put on if I don’t have peace on the inside then it is all meaningless.

That shopping trip was so discouraging. I got my Easter dress and decided to try again later. I spoke with a friend who encouraged me to give it another try to see myself through Jesus’ eyes. To find the joy in shopping again, trying on different options, having things fit. Now, I don’t believe I found a special pair of “Jesus glasses” the next time as I looked in the mirror but I do know that a different perspective some time with the Father and I found the joy in shopping again much to my husband’s dismay.

Colossians 1:10 “so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.

Victory in the Fitting Room

I haven’t worn shorts in about three years; well guess what? I got two pairs. I usually buy very flowy tops because flowy hides muffin tops and is what I was used to and became accustomed to with the forgiveness of leggings and the miracle of compression I didn’t realize that I no longer have a muffin top to cover with flowy tanks. When you wear a uniform of workout gear or over sized shirts and leggings, it’s easy not to notice these things.

My anxiety has been a catalyst as well as a hindrance in the past decade of my life. But as I sit in the fitting room staring at the reflection of a girl who worked hard to get to the small section and realizing that the tag number doesn’t matter. Despite my size, if I don’t turn to Jesus to resolve my problematic thoughts I will never have peace.Regardless, of what I look like on the outside. My point is no matter the size you are now enjoying all the victories and don’t let the enemy steal joy from you that you deserve.

What mental roadblock have you had to overcome? What did you do differently to address them?

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Tags anxiety, body dysmorphic disorder, body image, christianity, clothes after weight loss, fitting rooms, mental health, perception, weight loss shopping

Children christian mom Family

Teens and Money

Parenting is getting real, hard!

This school year has been a huge transition for the Bolton’ family. My husband and I are transitioning from parents of littles to parents of biggins and our roles as parents are expounding. We are no longer caring for our children’s safety and teaching them the laws of the land. We now have to deal with another set of issues such as other children, social cues, independence, and responsibility.

It’s hard raising children in this world that are grateful and aren’t entitled. I feel that children are handed a lot of things that we had to earn. Tomorrow my in between diva will be nine and my twelve years old will be thirteen in April. We are at a point especially with my twelve-year-old that we are asking to go beyond our at home playdates. We want to go places, do things and spend money.

Creating entitle diva’s

This is becoming a serious problem in my house, and I have complained about it before but like anything without consistency and follow through my best efforts have been without success. That just means I need a readjustment right? Well, I am starting to realize that as I affectionately call my daughters’ ill diva’s which I intend it to mean (Divine Inspired Virtuous and Anointed) sometimes they are actually what pop culture would refer to high maintenance lil women. I have no one to blame but myself. I have been a stay at home mom for going on 13 years. I have catered to the two of my girls every whim leaving them with little to no responsibilities. Although, I have taught them gratitude they often have to be reminded and can be entitled.

Since I was the one who created this poor work ethic and these little girls who “believing they are inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment” without any labor. My aha moment as I was folding my nine-year-olds (who if I remember my childhood correctly was a skill I had mastered by this age). It dawned on me, these girls need more responsibilities and need to earn their keep. It was either a brilliant idea or my way of lessening my load, but I needed a better chore management system, maybe an app?

We need a solution

In a few weeks, I will have both a nine-year-old and thirteen-year-old. As we approach the lil diva’s Birthday’s, I am starting to see the need to give my girls more responsibility. At this age, the focus is no longer taking as much care of these independent souls and more teaching them skills to use in life.

At least once a week my husband Ed and I admit we have no clue to what we are doing and this parenting thing has reached a climax. It’s gotten real hard now, the solutions to the problems are more thought provoking and creativity is a necessary. I am not an expert parent, I know there are those who claim to be out there, and I am very grateful the next generation has a few experts raising them because I know I fail daily.

Benefits of Showing Kid’s Financial Responsibility

Last year, we explored a new app to make chores seem more enjoyable and easily monitored by me without nagging. Well, Homey App (Check out my Original review of Homey App) has revamped and given us parents, even more, option.

I know it’s been a year so let me give you a basic breakdown of what Homey App used to do and what they do now?|

Parents Capabilities:

Create a household name and password.
Invite your family members to join and set up an account with family members names, pictures/avatars, and passwords.
Once that is all setup then you (the parent) can start assigning chores and value.
You can take a picture of their messy room and create as detailed of a description of what you expect from them to complete the task.

How it works now?

I love the new upgrades that Homey App has made it now has:

An allowance management functions teaching children the value of labor and future life skills.
Create savings goals for your child whether they be a short term want like going skating or a long term goal an electronic or game. It helps them see their effort and their money accumulating.
You can transfer money! Say what? I don’t even have to got to the ATM to remember allowance. I am an online shopper and use my debit card often. I have bank accounts set up for the girls (not Mimi yet which is a reminder poor third child) and the difference between paying them in cash and going directly to their bank. They collect interest at the bank, and they will be more likely to use it wisely if it’s not in their hands.

Chore Management Upgrades

Some of the things I suggested before are now available, YAY!

I like the reward/deduction feature.
Skip chores
undo completed tasks in case they weren’t done up to standards
can add or take away points and coins
add photos of the child’s rewards that they are seeking to earn
edit templates that Homey App has available for you and make them your customer chore pack
You can also change the family dynamics too. However, they fit your household for example Grandparents raising children or other family members that aren’t the child’s biological parents..

The free version of Homey App is still available, but this new premium feature will have a subscription fee which covers the bank transfer fees and compliance to enhance your capabilities. You should give this a try for yourself. We have been using it for a few weeks, and it has made the enthusiasm and reminder for my nine-year-old of her compensation for effort. She gets points my oldest receives coins and now knows what she needs to do to go to special places with friends. Now if I am consistent this just may be what the Bolton’s need.

Right now, if you register for Homey Premium, you get a complimentary trial of all the features. This is a great trial to check out all the features and customize it to work for your family. Creating an environment that not only encourages good work ethic but gives my lil diva’s some financial responsibility and management skills I think that’s a good thing. If you’re interested go visit my peeps at Homey App and find out more information.

What do you think?

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Tags children, chore, chore app, chore chart, chore management, kids chores, kids savings app, money, teens and money

christian mom christianity Faith Journey Family raising family

We Left the World

Flash Back Friday calls for a post that was originally published June 2015! Through our faith we have managed to find a steady foundation for our family to stand. We have lost some friends, gained some and opened our eyes to a new life in Christ. Together as a family we work steadfast to be a light for God in all we do. Although, we may fail we are no longer living in the world that we once were.

I have not always been a mother fueled by her faith. Not long ago, I was a mother trying to raise two little girls to be the best they could be in this lost world. We were living in the world. We were believers but we didn’t have a relationship with God. We would say our goodnight prayers but that was about all I had taught my children about God.

As our family grew from just one little girl to two little girls and then three. A yearning of fullfillment plagued me. Living in the world was no longer satisfying. I needed more purpose, more substance, I needed God in my everyday life. My life changed from needing God in my life; to wanting God in my life. Once my mindset changed life how I knew it quickly transformed.

One day, I decided that praying for God to be apart of my families life wasn’t going to cut it. We needed fellowship, praise and education. I began searching for a church to attend. It didn’t take me long because God already had a home for me.

Guided by Him I went to church one Sunday which was different for me because I was raised to attend church on Saturday. Although, I was raised different everything felt so right.

During the last worship song the Holy Spirit took over. I was filled with overwhelming joy. Then, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me clearly “you are home”. That was the beginning of my family leaving the world and beginning to serve Christ.

My daughter’s love our Church and participate and serve wherever they can. I too serve in the Children’s Ministry and attend small groups and Bible study. I have made fast friends and had some deep connection with some women. My husband is also more faithful and leads our family everyday in prayer before we go our separate ways.

It’s all so amazing what God has done in our lives. My husband once said, “we used to have a happy home but now our home is filled with pure joy.” The difference is uncanny and hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it. My marriage is stronger than ever and I now feel that I am living in purpose instead of day to day. This journey that my family is on through God’s grace is only getting started.

Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on things above not on earthly things.”

How did you bring your family to Christ? Were you always a Christian family or did you make come from living in the world too?

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