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christian mom christianity Faith & Self Care

Disconnected Community

I haven’t done a FaithFueled™ Friday in a long time it’s been so busy with school that writing is the last thing I want to do lately.  After a phone call with my friend I had to dust off the keyboard and share my thoughts. The other day I was speaking to a friend who just moved to a new state. She is having a hard time making new friends and thought the Church that her family decided to attend would be a great place to look.

The other day I was speaking to a friend who just moved to a new state. She is having a hard time making new friends and thought the Church that her family decided to attend would be a great place to look.

Why wouldn’t she believe that people of the same beliefs would want to fellowship?

She has been there for a few months and has made lots of effort to be apart of the Church community only to find there is no such thing as Church community at her Church at least not how we would have it defined.

“No one hangs out with anyone at Church they come on Sunday’s to worship and then go about their lives,” After she said that; it made me think my Church is very similar. We worship together on Sunday and then don’t check in until the following Sunday unless you’re in Bible Study. It’s kind of like out of sight out of mind which isn’t a real relationship but more of an acquaintance. We know very little about the people we worship with other than surface things. There is no longer that sense of community that the Church once brought to families and towns.

I have been attending my Church for four years and have only been invited to three families homes outside of a Church function; (and I include a Direct Sales party) if not, it would only be two invites in four years, and that’s just sad. Or is it? Is this commonplace? When did the Church stop being a place for believers to fellowship and do a life and a place to just check in every Sunday?

“Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” Acts 2:46-47

The church isn’t what it used to be!

In Biblical days churches, temples and synagogues were the epicenters for most towns. It’s where the taxes were collected, food was given, functions were held, and people gathered together daily to fellowship. Your Church family was like your extended family and the fellowship didn’t end on Sunday you saw these people in your life on a daily basis.

The Church is no longer an integral role in society. It’s not a place where people come to every day but usually on the day of worship. Then we go off to our own lives, friends, and families. The bonds that we uniquely share in our love for Jesus and place of worship is where it ends.

Check in at Church

Now, I have to be fair in the four years that I have been at my Church I have not done my due diligence to grow and foster relationships. In the first two years as I attended my Church I would reach out often. I had IF gatherings in my home, bible study walks. I tried everything to find some Christian friends and invite them to my home. The experiences were great but never really made connections; not long lasting.

Why? We have lives outside of our Church Identity. In our busy society, most of us are too busy for friends much less to deal with people in our Church that we barely know. We get caught up so much in our things to do that we don’t reach out to connect with each other. Not just at Church but in all of the society.

This is another way for the enemy to attack he makes us think that the people at the Church are wrong and we don’t need the Church for our salvation. We do! We need the accountability, reminders, and direction. People can be judgemental, but if you “don’t have any sinners who attend your Church, you may want to find a new Church.” That is why we are their for our redemption we are not perfect we are people we all have our struggles. Jesus loves us all the same and wants us to be together in His kingdom one day.

I can no longer justify other peoples actions affecting my church attendance. I don’t attend my Church for the weekly check-in but to get some time to praise, worship and honor God. Although, I don’t feel community there I still attend because of the Message. Recently, God has been pricking my heart on this subject I can’t continue to be like others and not followup. It’s one of those situations it’s never the job it’s always the people. There will always be people but if you expect people to treat you like you’d treat yourself you’re going to be disappointed. You must show grace to fellow members and even sometimes mercy.

Above everything, love one another earnestly, because love covers over many sins.

1 Peter 4:8

A lonely society

We are living in a lonely world. We can be surrounded by people but disengaged on our phone. We can stand in a crowd but feel utterly alone because we as a society are isolating ourselves. Filling our time with things to do instead of meaningless relationships when we are all seeking a meaningful relationship. We were meant to be with each other, lead each other, teach each other and do life together. The sad part is most of us feel alone yet we won’t reach out to each other to fill the loneliness.

“I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.”

1 Corinthians 1:10

Disconnected Community
It’s also apparent with the amount of time spent on Social media to fill our need for relationships. I am very guilty of that after I went to countless Bible studies, events, and opportunities to fellowship. I would leave each time knowing that the connection ended there so, I went to the internet.

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Romans 12:16

Need more than a Virtual Relationship

I am intentionally (and unintentionally) in lots of Facebook groups for all of my interest with the common motivator for joining is to connect with like-minded people. I have also been in Virtual Bible Studies, Mentorships, Accountability Groups and we all were there for the same thing companionship but if you were to get us in a room together not one of us would exchange numbers. Or, actually, follow up to get to know the person better.

I feel we are all living surface lives just doing enough to touch the surface never really getting to know someone. If we did if we followed up with connections, made phone calls and not text or emails. Sat down in person one on one and got to know somebody we may find that best friend that we crave.

So, what is keeping us from continuing these connections?

Get Up and Do Something

Effort and energy we have become such a lazy society that we don’t want the work of building and maintaining relationships we want surface friends. You can log on and log off when you want. You can only share the good and never the bad. There is no threat of if they’ll like you for who you are because you give them the who they want to see. The same goes for Church you show up dressed nice, proclaim your hallelujahs, make small chat before and after church and never follow up. Never put the extra effort or work it takes to create a community.

“For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ, we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.”
Romans 12:4-5

Why not start now?

We need to unite people and not just over what hot political topic there is but we need to unite amongst ourselves if we are going to be God’s army. The enemy wants us to live separate, be surface and vain. He is trying to make us think “we’re connected” through our disconnected online relationship, but we are fooling ourselves. God has told us to fellowship together, sharpen each other and prepare to do battle together.

One day at Church invite someone over for brunch, get to know someone a little better than Sunday chit-chat. Reach out to them for coffee or a park date to learn and possibly grow in Christ together. Behind the screen, connections can be valuable, but we need to be with people in real time and do real life.

Don’t wait for the next Church function to reach out to your brother or sister in Christ. Although, the Church is no longer the epicenter of our life. Christ is, and we need to love each other as Jesus loves us. We need to know each other because we need to be prepared to unite and stand up when called. We must mend the brokenness of our Christian communities and keep the tight-knit and secure. The way we do that? You, start today and reach out to someone in your Church. Let’s start living a life of a real community.

How do you maintain community in your church? Do you find it hard to maintain relationships?

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Faith & Self Care Family Gluten Free Mealtime Monday Sugar Detox

Gluten Free Expo 2017

It’s that time of year again the air is getting cooler and crisp. The lil divas are back in school and despite whether we want to or not the Holiday’s are quickly approaching. It’s the perfect time for the Gluten Free Expo to come to town.  Last year, my sister and I were able to explore all the newest allergy friendly items from food to skin care.  It was a great opportunity to see all that Gluten-free has to offer. Also, to get some ideas for my gluten-free holiday baking which went well last year. I have been mostly Gluten Free for two years.  I have my slip ups, and I always suffer, and that is why I am grateful for how far gluten-free has come in the marketplace.  Now, not all gluten-free items some are still made of way too many processed ingredients. You can find some quality products if you look hard enough.  That is a great reason to come to the gluten-free expo it’s like a try and find all the newest and great allergy-friendly finds.  Last year, I discovered some treats that my family uses today.

This year I am really excited because the entire family is mostly allergy friendly now.  We found that living a gluten-free/allergy friendly diet has helped all of my daughters with their seasonal allergies and digestive issues and allowed me to stop making two meals. The only way this can be possible sometimes if we amazing gluten-free and allergy-friendly products that don’t make you miss Gluten or other allergens.

Last year, I discovered BFree Foods and Udi bread which is my go-to for my girls.  It tastes pretty great and it’s gluten-free, AND it doesn’t have a lot of junk in the ingredients label.  I also learned some great, baking tips from some of the vendors.  Another thing that I have been considering is the household and skincare products that we used. I never realized how many skincare products contain wheat until my allergies which has a direct effect on my complexion.  I find that when I use products without wheat, I have clearer skin and don’t have itchy flare-ups. For my teenage daughter using wheat-free skincare products has also cleared her skin she rarely has flair ups or outbreaks any longer. I also contribute wheat free hygienic products to my younger daughters no longer have eczema issues which I have written about before too.  It’s funny how eliminating one common culprit can improve your quality of life.

The beauty about expo’s online google that you get to try, smell and taste everything right there and talk to the exhibitors who produce the products. Some of the stories on how it has helped their families or where the product came from can be inspiring as well as mind-blowing on how changing your food can change your life.Is your family Gluten Free or Allergy Friendly? Would you consider trying it and why?

Is your family Gluten Free or Allergy Friendly? Would you consider trying it and why?

If you’re in the Seacacus, NJ area in October 14-15th, I am giving away TWO Tickets to gain access to the Expo.  Winners will be announced on 10/1/17 for TWO 1 Day Adult Passes. Enter below for a chance to win! I hope to get to meet you at the event!


a Rafflecopter giveaway

You can also get your tickets at a 20% discount with code “ADVANCE” until October 13th. 

 

 

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Figure Competition Fitness Fitness and Health Self

My Figure Update: Overcoming a Quitters Mentality

I have quit a lot of things in my life. It’s actually my go-to exit plan. If it’s hard just give up and move on, right?  I’ve quit relationships, ideas, business ventures, and opportunities.  Moved on and never looked back.  I am also one of those people who acts on ideas. I don’t always research what I am getting into I get an idea in my head and I just go for it until it gets hard and then I quit and move on to the next big idea.  A pattern that I didn’t even realize until recently. My impulsive decision making has had its advantages and allowed me to do some pretty fun and amazing things but long term goals is where I tend to fall short. As you know I have been doing this Figure Competitor journey.  I originally thought that it would help me to get in the best shape of my life which it has but I also did it because it was a fun idea that I have had in the back of my mind for many years and had an opportunity to take advantage.  

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.

1 Corinthians 9:24

 When the Sparkle Wears off

Like anything, new things are fun and exciting. You usually are all in and zealous to achieve your goal.  It’s the hard work, disappointments, and length of time that led to where I often go. I’ll just quit and move on until something happened with my daughter that made me step back and reflect.  I have three little diva’s that keep my life full, active and yes, drama filled as you can imagine.  My middle I see a lot of me in her maybe a little too much. Like her Mama she approached life with a let’s try something new mentality and like her Mama she gets bored and moves on easily.  We were riding in the car one day and my daughter was telling us how she wanted to quit camp.  My husband and I were stressing the importance of finishing what you started when a comment my husband made struck me.  I had said, “She always quits when she loses interest in something.” without hesitation, my husband said, “Yea, she gets that from you.” OUCH! But honestly, he is so right.  So, then as any good Mama guilt struck and self-reflection.  Yep, another similarity that we share.  

Too Far to Quit

So, here I am at the end of my Figure Journey well approaching the end maybe and things have gotten less fun and more challenging. The thing about Fitness Competition is nutrition is probably the most important part it allows you to look a certain way. This sport is also about aesthetics and a lot of competitors have a poor body image although they have amazing physiques.  I’ve started to learn how to pose and I am not a fan.  I love lifting weights I’ve gotten used to the nutrition but as far as the posing not only is that not fun it doesn’t serve me in anything but competing. I don’t really care about the makeup and the bikini part I am not that kind of girl. I just want to do it and get it done and said “I did it!” and move on. So, as I struggled with posing my immediate reaction was aw that’s okay I’ll just move on and try something else but that conversation in the car with my husband replayed in the back of my mind.  

Work in Progress

In the past few years, I have been refining my life making different choices and trying to live my best life.  We are always evolving and changing and as you have witnessed through my journey I have spiritually, mentally and physically changed my body but I am nowhere near being the complete package. Nor do I think I ever will be like everyone else I have things to work on, lots and lots and lots of things to work and overcoming a quitters mentality is one of them. So, how? How do I change a habit and replace it with a better one?  Any habit that can be successfully changed has to be replaced with something that you enjoyed. This is no different. I have decided to quit my quitter’s mentality by quitting. Say what? Stay with me!

You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them,

2 Timothy 3:14

How I am overcoming quitting

I am quitting setting up roadblocks to achieving my goals.

I am quitting acting on impulse and doing more research.

I am quitting putting limits on my ability.

I am quitting putting a time frame on my goal.

I am quitting thinking that I have to be the best at everything the first time.

I am quitting setting the example to my girls that when you get bored or discouraged to move on.

Things are hard and you often want to bail and move on I know I do but I have experienced the results of persevering and seeing something through to the end and so that is what I plan on striving to do.

 

“Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:12-14

Do you have any suggestions for a quitters mindset?

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Faith & Self Care Faith Journey Fitness Fitness and Health Weightloss Journey

Not an Overnight Success: 7 things I’ve learned on my journey to lose 80 lbs.

I can’t believe that it has been another year. It seems both fast and long. For last years anniversary post check it out here! Two years seem like a long time but looking back it has flown. I started this blog three years ago as a Christian Mom Blog I didn’t know what I was doing then, and I still don’t know what “Christian Mom Blog” means but it has evolved over the last two years it has become a faith and fitness blog.

August 4, 2015

Devise your strategy, but it will be thwarted; propose your plan, but it will not stand, for God is with us. Isaiah 8:10

Two years today after trying on my own to figure out this daunting weight loss thing joined an online exercise program   It was exactly what I needed to get started a plan and some guidance. She also encouraged her members to take pictures to show progress, and I am grateful for those to look back at and see my progress. I would have never thought to do that. At the time I hated the idea, and the cost of a gym so, at home workouts worked for me. I also said that I would “never work out at a gym again,” haha.

Fast Forward

Fast forward two years and what I thought was going to be a temporary fix; I was going to get real skinny quick. Little did I know not only was I going to “get skinny” but it was going to be a roller coaster of highs and lows expectations and disappointments and an internal journey as well. It hasn’t all been bad.

Blessed through the Journey

This has also given me the opportunity to have fun adventures like working out with celebrity trainers and trying all kinds of new equipment, supplements, and tools.

 

Never Say Never

I am teaching group fitness classes at 5 am in the morning which I never imagined I would be up and moving at 5 am much less teaching other people too. I told my friend who kept referring me that I would never do group fitness and now that I have I absolutely love it.

A passion ignited

I am 10 weeks away from obtaining my degree in Fitness and Exercise Science, and I am working at an amazing gym (which I also said that I would never do; “work at a gym)”. I am learning so much from a great group of passionate trainers.

FaithFueled is a Lifestyle

Honoring my temple has now become my way of life how I live my life. The choices I make how I plan my day involves my mental space, health, exercise and healthy eating.

More than just a weight loss journey

I started on Periscope and Instagram just sharing about my journey which turned into a 30-day personal prayer challenge that I gave myself to honor my temple.  Those 30 days completely changed my perspective of how I can use God in my life. I had always put boundaries and limits on what I could pray.

Change in Purpose

I didn’t think God cared if I wanted to be skinny or not but through my prayers and devotion my want to be skinny changed for want to be healthy both including spiritually, physically and medically.  It gave me a passion for honoring my temple meaning what I put into it, how I treat it, who I involve in my emotional life and I went to the Bible for the lead in everything.

Stronger Together

I had a relationship with Christ before this journey but the peace I and intimacy that I never knew I craved has been met and continues to grow through this journey. When you turn to God for the little things you begin to turn to Him for everything and having a daily passionate relationship with God has been more fulfilling than being skinny or lifting a weight. The most exciting part of this journey is that I pray every day that I can be a light and bring glory to God through all that I do.

Humbled to be used

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship. Romans 12:1

God has shown me in the last two year many women and some men that I have inspired through my journey. I am humbled and honored to serve God through fitness. It is amazing that in two years I have been able to change and transform and it is really truly because of God that I am where I am today. So, today I am celebrating the day that literally changed the course of my life. I can honestly say that I would not be where I am today. So, this is my physical change in the last two years Year to date, but I don’t think you can take a picture for the internal change this experience has had on my family and myself.

The things I have learned in two years

  1. Give it to God first don’t try to do it yourself you’ll save time and stress.
  2. Be consistent even if you don’t see progress.
  3. If it isn’t working try something different you don’t have to stick with the thing you started.
  4. Yes, food is important not only what you eat but how and when you eat it!
  5. Discipline is needed and accountability
  6. Regardless what stage you’re at love and appreciate where you are right now while you are working towards what you want and always remember your Why!
  7. The only fix is your mindset that quick and easy doesn’t cut it hard work is worth the reward.

What’s Next?

I now have a new goal to compete in a Fitness competition.  Similar to weight loss, the mental is hard, the workouts are hard, and the food is the worse. I want to quit from day to day, and the highs and lows are the same but I know I have the victory. It will take more time than I want but I will get there just like I got here.

Work in Progress

There is a lot I still have yet to learn and work on if not physically then spiritually and emotionally. By no means am I even finished I like to think of it as just getting started on the next chapter, and I am excited to see what is written. If I could leave anyone with any advice is if you haven’t started, start today because it’s just another step closer to your goals. Remember it takes time so give yourself

time!

How can I help you start your journey or encourage you?

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Children Family Family Projects

A Night to Dare to Dream

My Full Disclosure Policy

Dare to dream!

What happens to a dream deferred? When you were a child, I am sure that you had a lot of dreams for your adult life. Some were nonsensical like you want to live in a house made out of chocolate. As you got older your dreams became more realistic, you want to be a celebrity athlete or president of the United States.  We all are dreamers at some point in our lives. Some people are bold enough to pursue those dreams, others forget their dreams or defer them because they let their current situation get in the way and then there are those who dream for their entire lives and never put it into action.

Why is that? Why do some people have the freedom pursue while others get stuck just dreaming? Is it that they never received the skills to dream? Is it that no one gave them the resources they needed to attempt their dream. Or someone in their life told them that dreamers were for nighttime sleep and once the sun comes out they need to put those dream back to bed.

 

A Night to Dream

Last Thursday was one of those nights that are good for the soul. I was invited to the Disney Social media Mom celebration, and as soon as I RSVP’d, I was excited I had no idea what to expect but to be in a room full of Magic was all I needed to look forward.  The night was great to see other bloggers I hadn’t seen in a while and some that I had just hung out with in Vegas for the last few days.  It was a great room of familiar faces one face that stood out from the crowd immediately in a room of mostly women was a young well dressed young man whom I later got to know as Jordan.  He was well poised but very young, so I was immediately curious to meet him.

Disney Dreamer Alum Are Making Dreams Come True

Some people’s presence simply shines, and Jordan is one of those people.  I later found out that he is the alum of a decade old organization called Disney Dreamer’s Academy with Steve Harvey and Essence Magazine.  Have you ever heard of the DDA? Until Thursday I was unaware of the opportunities that Disney has been providing our youth to dream. Steve Harvey himself has a very active role in speaking and working with the Disney Dreamer Academy Participants.

The Disney Dreamer’s Academy is something that my daughter Kyhia will be applying for before October 31, 2017, and I encourage you to share this with any dreamer that you may know the ages of 13-17 or high school student.  Dreams are not meant to be contained in dream catchers. In our world of technology, dreams are leading to significant innovations in our society as well as easing hardship for many people all over the world.  Containing a dream is a dangerous thing these days, and that’s why hearing what Walt Disney World has been doing for the last decade needs to be shared with everyone.

Word from an Alum

Jordan Williams owner of Young Mogul Brand according to their website is “an urban clothing line that promotes teen entrepreneurship with positivity through clothing wear.” Jordan is a great example of the potential that is happening with our youth and the encouragement and influence that they can have on our world. Jordan comes from Atlanta, Georgia where from a young age he inherited his father entrepreneurial ambitions. By the time he was a senior in High School not only was he an excellent student but he had three business’ under his belt and currently the owner of a brand for youth entrepreneurs.

Jordan applied for the Disney Dreamers Academy after seeing the effect of the program on his best friend and business partner returned motivated and inspired to follow his dream. Brandon (Jordan’s best friend) encouraged Jordan to apply.  Thousands of teens apply every year, and Walt Disney World and Steve Harvey chooses 100 applicants to attend Disney Dreamers Academy.

 

What happens at Disney Dreamer Academy?

These candidates go to Walt Disney World for four days and learn how to dream; they have a full itinerary working with DDA Alum, professional dreamers, and networking among each other. Exploring what it is to dream truly and how to make those dreams come true. Discovering potential career opportunities in all fields from computers, animations, culinary whatever your little dreamer is dreaming WDW is providing hands on experiences for these high school student.  Walt Disney along with Steve Harvey is empowering our youth to look past what they are given and see what they aspire to have and be.  I love that this 10-year organization has this opportunity for any highschooler with a dream to apply.

Can anyone apply?

The application process is seamless and straightforward. It has three questions for the applicant to share their dream. No high school transcripts required, no letter of recommendations the screening criteria is if you have a dream and if you can articulate those dreams. I am a big dreamer my husband not so much he often gets grounded in reality. I think this opportunity to show my thirteen-year-old Kyhia that not only is it okay to dream but there are other dreamers out there like you.  I want her to get the opportunity to begin to meet the dreamers and the doers of our future. I also want her to know what and how to accomplish her dreams.  We have applied for this year, and it’s not too late for you too.  Application deadlines are October 31, 2017, and you can begin by applying here.

A great night full of laughs

It was so nice to get dressed up have a delicious meal and meet people who are dreamers and doers. It is also exciting to think that my daughter has an opportunity to meet 99 other dreamers who are going to eventually make an impact on our world.  We must encourage our children to dream big, bold and without limits. It’s been proven that dreams do come true for those who only dare to dream.  What are you cultivating in your little dreamer’s life? Fulfillment?

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