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Family Marriage

4 Ways Praying for My Deployed Husband Helps Our Marriage

I want to introduce Elaine Sinott a devouted women of God, mother and wife.  We met through Social Media and after reading her blog Military Wife After God I knew that she needed to share on FaithFueled Mom!  February will be our Family First February month and Elaine is a great example of just that. Our military families make such a sacrifice for our freedom. I am so grateful for their services and the support of their family!

 

I recently learned through the Unveiled Wife’s devotionals Wife After God: Drawing Closer to God & Your Husband and 31 Prayers for My Husband: Seeing God Move in His Heart the extreme importance in praying for your husband. These devotionals (which I HIGHLY recommend-they truly changed my life!) taught me that praying for your husband not only has an incredible impact on him as a person but also for your marriage!

The 4 things I learned from praying for my husband daily are:

  1. It has helped me to see him through God’s eyes. Praying daily for my husband has softened my heart towards him and has helped me to let go of things in the past that have been hurtful. It has helped me to begin to see him through our Heavenly Father’s eyes meaning I am much more willing to choose love over anger and I am willing to extend grace. It has helped me to learn how to forgive, that I should be quick to forgive when I am hurt because God does that exact thing for us over and over! And it has taught me the importance of forgiveness in marriage! When you forgive your spouse, and begin to see him through God’s eyes, you learn true intimacy.
  2. It has helped my marriage significantly! Yes, believe it or not, it has made a difference in our marriage even through a deployment! Imagine the changes that can happen when your husband is next to your every day! (I cannot wait until he’s home for me to experience that feeling J) I have noticed that our conversations are much calmer, loving, and attentive towards each other throughout this deployment (probably because my anxiety has been almost non-existent since I began a relationship with our Heavenly Father!). When he is upset about something, I am more attentive to how it makes him feel and I’m less concerned about myself (something I wish I would’ve known for our last two deployments as well). When he is excited about something, I’m more attentive to why it makes him happy and I share in that joy with him! We have truly grown closer despite the 6,000 miles between us!
  3. It has taught me to RESPECT my husband! Respect for men is like the need to feel loved for women – our husbands need respect to thrive! They need it to be happy in life, every day. When a man is not respected, resentment builds and it will be difficult for him to be in tune you’re your needs. What does respecting your husband mean? It means letting go of the sarcastic comments. It means letting go of the things you think he is doing “wrong” if he isn’t doing them your way (my mistake there-correcting him too many times when taking care of the kids!) It means listening to him. It means trusting in his decisions and supporting him. It means not gossiping about your husband. You are your husband’s partner in life and he is yours – your job is to build each other up, not tear each other down. I have learned how to truly respect my husband with my words and my actions and it has made a world of a difference in our marriage.
  4. It has taught me to become more intimate with him! Intimacy is often thought of as a sexual thing but intimacy actually means “making yourself known.” Praying daily for my husband has taught me to step out of my comfort zone and talk to him about things we never used to talk about enough, like God and our feelings. We talked a little about them but after becoming closer to God this past fall for the first time in my life, I have learned a whole new level of communication with my husband and it’s been AWESOME! We don’t hold anything back, there are no questions about anything. We’re honest and open with each other about every little thing. Communication is ridiculously important in a military marriage especially, as you can imagine, because that is all we have for months at a time. This whole new level of intimacy with my husband has been the start of something beautiful! Prayer has such power – you won’t realize it until you try!

Being your husband’s wife, your prayers for him are the most powerful. God wants nothing more than for your marriage to be centered around Him. And He promises when two or more gather in His name, He is there with you! What a beautiful and comforting promise our Heavenly Father makes!

One of the most intimate acts you can ever do with your husband is pray WITH him! Sit in your bed together at night before falling asleep, hold hands, and talk to God. Ask Him to bless your marriage – to let His will be done through it! Pray aloud for your husband, ask God to protect him emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally every day. Ask God to help your husband fulfill his duty of being a leader in Christ for you and your family. Ask Him to help your husband be the warrior in Christ he was created to be. And ask God to help you become to wife you want him to be – for you to love your husband the way God wants you to love him and to always forgive and love without conditions.

Praying for your husband can move mountains in your marriage. It can bring healing, understanding, forgiveness, love, security, compassion, kindness, gentleness, joy, and so much more. When you pray for your husband, you invite God into your marriage and, when God is the foundation of your marriage, you and your husband can conquer anything the world throws your way!

Meet Elaine

Elaine Sinnott is a military wife to Luke of 5 years, a mommy to 4 beautiful little boys, and a daughter of God, eager to learn and share what she learns about God’s purpose for marriage! She also wants to help the military wives out there know that they’re never truly alone when the lifestyle seems that way – that God is always with them! She credits the devotional Wife After God: Drawing Closer to God & Your Husband by Jennifer Smith (@UnveiledWife) for changing her life and saving her marriage.

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Babies christian mom Faith & Self Care Fitness Fitness and Health Self self-care Weightloss Journey

5 Habits Mom’s do to derail progress

mistake

I made a delicious, nutritious, and fat loss friendly meal for breakfast. Nothing extravagant Apple Chai (Sugar Free) Oatmeal and Hard boiled Eggs.  Something very simple after an intense workout. Ate my serving, that was measured out and a perfect portion, then I did the unthinkable. A habit that I have had since my lil diva’s started eating table food. I am usually mindful but you know how things go, sometimes you slip back into old habits. So, what did I do that is so heinous? As I am clearing the table, I…..yes, I did it. I scarfed down the leftover food from my littlest diva’s plate. (The horror-insert scared emoji here) I went from being completely satisfied with my meal, portion, and calories being in a healthy range. To the feeling of being stuffed and adding probably a good 100-200 calories extra to my meal, (maybe less) which I can’t totally calculate because I didn’t measure out my child’s leftovers. Now, am I going to totally freak out and do more pushups, jumping jacks, and burpees. Um, no I am way to worn out for that. Thank God there is such a thing as grace. But, I am going to be mindful that these bad habits although innocent is little things that make it harder for me to get to my goal. A healthier, physically fit body. That I work very hard on 30 minutes a day 4 days a week. While doing dishes I was thinking, “I know other mother’s do the same thing but I wonder how many innocent habits do we do that hamper our progress?” I came up with five and I would love for you to add more that I don’t think about and maybe not even aware of that these little nuances exist. Pointing them out will help us to stay focused and not derail our hard efforts. Time and pushups are very valuable things to me and if I can reduce both that is a good thing.

Derail

5 Habits Mom do to derail progress

  1. Eating remaining food off your children’s plate. Let’s start with today’s offender. I try to be mindful of this but being the overseer of our food budget and working hard to provided nutritious meals for my family. When I see perfectly good food on its way to the trash my first instinct is to just eat it. You know the saying, “there are poor children starving in Africa.” My instinct to save the waste is counterproductive to my goal to live a healthier lifestyle. Those little bit of calories can add up, considering you feed your children 3-5 times a day. A great solution is to serve your children less. They can always get more and that way they are not wasting as much food and you are not adding to your daily intake by saving food from the trash.
  2. Not sitting down to eat. Again, most of these are just going to be my confession. Up until recently especially in the morning before school. I would eat on the go and have my children sit at the table for breakfast, lunch and I usually sit down during dinner. But, sometimes I am trying to throw something in my mouth and tackle, chores, phone calls, or something while I have them sitting there quietly (somewhat) eating a meal. This too allows you to make poor food choices, portion control and just add unnecessary stress. Sit down, chill, enjoy the meal you have prepared and take a little time out in your day to talk with your children. Teaching moments of “abc’s” or just to sit for 10-20 minutes. This can help reduce your stress which helps reduce your cortisol so, it’s a triple win; Stress reducer, nourishment and calorie control.
  3. Don’t drink enough water. I am in that weird mom stage, I am either on the go with my two older school age children or I am on alert with a very curious toddler. Regardless, I am not attentive to my own needs most of the time. Somedays, I am just on auto pilot getting through the to-do’s of the day. We are supposed to drink half our weight in ounces of water. If I am conscious I am doing that but that requires lots of fill ups and lots of pit stops, if you know what I am saying. But, proper hydration is key to good nutrition so it is something that must be added to the to-do list until, it becomes a great habit.
  4. Don’t make time to workout. Again, this was a mistake of mine. So, beginning of 2015 I had the best intentions. Gym membership, resolution motivation and a 6 month old baby and two active lil school aged divas. My husband works most of the time so, although I intentionally signed up with a 24-hour gym I never seemed to make it in there at all within 24-hours. I am just hanging on by a prayer after 8 pm when my husband usually comes home during basketball season, so night time workout don’t work. Although, I get up at five in the morning for devotion. The idea of getting up at 4 am to devote and then workout seemed like pure insanity to me. I think it would be safe to say that as a mother we do not always prioritize ourselves in life. That is a mistake. We need to take care of ourselves. Physical inactivity leads to so many things that cause us to poorly do our job. Small things like lack in energy, poor immune system; To big things like stroke, obesity, diabetes and other life threatening ailments. We must be active for at least 150 hours per week according to the American Center for Disease Control, however you break that down in your week. It’s a must! So, not adding your time to devote (I find that essential in self-care and honoring your temple) and exercise is a major no, no to weight loss and a healthy lifestyle.

Deuteronomy316

5. Rely on your self.

How do you do better?

The second best thing I ever did for myself was canceled my gym membership, invested in weights and found an awesome workout that could be done in less than 30 minutes.  It has double the benefits of going to the gym, an hour of cardio, or an hour workout DVD. If you have an hour of to devote to working out make sure you schedule it in and pop in that DVD. Whatever you do get your 150 hours a week in any way that you can. With kids, without kids but just honor your temple with intentionally avoiding habits and mistakes that you have become accustomed to. I know that I am doing it and although the journey is not as fast as I like, “if I stop now, I will soon be back where I started, 40 pounds heavier, 56 more inches wider. And when I started, I was desperately wishing I could be where I am now.”

The best thing that I did to help me see my mistakes and have strength to change them was bring my goal to live better and healthier to God.  After trying too long and too hard I gave it to Him and He has helped me overcome so much. Even though old ugly habits will rear there heads. I was able to instantly recognize it and now will make a conscious effort to overcome it.

Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid of them! The Lord your God will goes ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

I know I am not crossing a river to go into warfare but I am going into battle with my own sinful nature. And the ways that I have become accustomed and where I am trying to do better in my life. So, get out there and honor your temple better.  What mistakes or habits do you have that are derailing you from honoring your temple better?

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Children Family Product Review Product Reviews

Cleaning is a Family Game

HomeyApp

 My Full Disclosure Policy 

BoltonDivas

The chore struggle

I have three little diva’s. When I refer to them as “lil diva’s” people always think that they are temperamental entitled little girls. When I am referring to my diva’s I think of them as divine, inspired, virtuous, anointed little girls that are being molded to be a powerful witness’ for God.  But they can also be very temperamental especially when it comes to cleaning chores around the house. The attitude that I get when I ask if their room is clean or the living room is vacuumed could be considered “diva”.

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GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA

Techniques used in the past

I have tried several different strategies to make chores enjoyable in my house and less of a fight. We believe in grace based parenting but there is so much grace you can show for a poorly executed chore time and time again.  I have charged a variety of strategies, the chore chart. It started off well the first week and by week 3 and 4 there was little to know pleasure from receiving a gold star for a job well done.  Then we tried the chore sticks. It was like a lottery choice for the lil divas.  A variety of chores written on a Popsicle stick placed in a jar. They would choose there chore for the day and once it was completed would received a check mark. Once they accrued enough check marks they earned there allowance or reward.  I thought the spontaneity of chores and not being responsible for the same chore week after week would add some more fun to chores.  That lasted for a moment. My husband and I are trying very hard not to add to the entitled generation that is becoming an epidemic. Showing grace and creating standards of excellence all at the same time.  This parenting stuff really does get harder as they get older. Its so much easier raising my toddler than it is my tween and eight year old.  But, apparently part of bringing them home from the hospital was that I was responsible to create positive contributions to society.

I recently got to try out a very cool app, called Homey App, that has created a new and refreshing approach of assigning chores and completing them.  This app allows my husband I to be on the same page with chore assignment. It also allows him to help manage our children’s completion of chores while he is away at work.  This is very important because honestly I sometimes get tired of always being the bad guy.  Being virtual has other perks too. When I was away a few weeks ago, my husband was a little perplexed on how I wanted something done. I could keep track of my oldest daughters diligence all from my phone. After a few attempts she was able to receive her point.  That’s how this work on a point system.

Homey App

Why the Homey App works for us

This cool new way of chore management, the Homey app. It makes chores competitive which my family is highly competitive. My husband is a basketball coach. I am a former all star cheerleader and softball player. And my oldest is into field hockey and lacrosse. So we are very motivated by friendly competition.  There are multiple reasons that the Homey app is going to work for our family.

First, there are scores and our competitive nature that is a motivator in itself.

Second, we can all be on the same page. You take a picture of the chore to be done and then the person who is assigned will then take a picture once completed.  This is great for my husband and I because my definition of clean and his is quite different. So, the girls send me the picture of the completed chore to receive the “reward.”My girls are at an age where they get allowance. The allowance is to teach them money management. Stickers and treats are also not as strong motivators as dollars and cents.

Another, great thing is that I can schedule chores in advance. I am a planner addict and nothing gives me more satisfaction than prepping and preparing for things to come.  I like that I can schedule the chores a week in advance (or more) and then not have to worry about the daily nag of “Is this done yet?” No picture, no allowance and when it comes to chores there is no grace.  If they were working in the real work there would be no pay and no grace in termination so somethings we have to be strict about it. Since I am the household manager the way my household is operated is similar to an employer.

HomeyApp

It has been fun working with this app so far. I actually think this is something that can last for our family.  My eight year old recently received a tablet for her eight birthday. She will be added to the Homey app as a family member too.

How it works?

Which is how it works: You (the parent) create a household name and password. Then you invite your family members to join.  They will receive a link, qr code or you can do it old school and give them the Household name and password to search for.  They then get setup with a profile. Basic stuff name, picture (we used Avatars for everyone) and password.  Once that is all set up then you (the parent) can start assigning chores and value. You can do that two ways: use a preexisting picture or description or create your own. You can take a picture of their messy room and create as detailed of a description of what you expect from them to complete the chore.

A little tip: if the chore is multi-faceted for instance my daughters room. I wanted the room and her closet organized. That I did two separate task because only one picture can be taken to complete the task.

Once they feel it is done they take a picture.  Then they receive the point.  I did have a slight problem with this aspect.  I wish that the chore could be approved before they received the point. Just because they think they did a good job doesn’t necessarily mean it is a good job. I overcame this a couple weeks ago by deleting the task and reassigning it. Homey app is still working on this and I made a suggestion for this change.  Also, I like that you can reassign the task once its completed. So, you don’t have to start over you just reassign it for a future date.  All in all it has been interesting taking our chore management virtually I think for my kids its more relateable. For me, the more I work with it the more I find its saves on management and time. It has also included my husband and he typically checks on it with his train commute home. What do you think about managing your household chores with an app? Is your family ready to take your chore chart virtual?

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christian mom Family Fitness Fitness and Health Weightloss Journey

Overweight Physically & Underweight Spiritually

weight loss

First posted 12/2/2015

Embarking on a weight loss journey

God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though He is not far from any one of us, Acts 17:27

Weight loss is a journey. What happens to you when you realized the reason you are overweight physically and underweight spiritually? You do something about it. About 4 months ago, I got fed up with my physical appearance and embarked on a weight loss journey.  The first month was easy mentally. I hired a virtual trainer, I was seeing results and was happy to find something that worked.  Then, the next month came and that beginning puppy love started to wear off.  I had more than being physically overweight to deal with; which is often the case when losing weight.  I had the easy part handled what, when, who and where to do it.  It was the why, that I need to work on.

What is my Why?

That’s when personal reflection came in.  If I was to lose the ideal weight and achieve the body I wanted. What would it be for? There comes a point in your life especially when you’re on a spiritual journey that you need more than just outward appearances to fulfill you.  What do you do, when you’re overweight physically and underweight spiritually?  You tear down walls and rebuild from the foundation.  I achieved this by figuring out my why?

why

 

To submit to such people and to everyone who joins in the work and labors at it. 1 Corinthians 16:11

There are the obvious, family and faith? I have 3 little girls that I have the responsibility of teaching how to be women and they are watching my every move. I want to teach them to honor their temple and be different in this world; Honoring and serving God.  I am also trying to be the best that I can be for my husband as God says to do.

Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the Lord your God. 1 Chronicles 22:19a

Underweight Spiritually

I needed to rebuild my foundation so, my second month I took time out daily to Honor My temple through prayer and challenge myself.  Every day, this prayer challenge created a relationship with God and His word when it pertained to my issues with, exercise, nutrition and faith.  It was an amazing opportunity that helped me clearly define my why? The Bible is the most detailed instruction manual for life.  When women look into God’s word they often go to Proverbs 31 description of a worthy women.  So, after 30 days of personal reflection I went to trusty old Proverbs 31 to see if my why aligned with “Women of Noble Character.”

She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:28-30

weightloss

 

3 Reasons: Why my weight loss is more than appearance

These verses encompass everything I care about.  My faith, my husband, and my children. Breaking these verses down gives me the definition I was looking for in my why, much like my workout plan and nutrition.

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30

  1. My faith

I interpret this verse as: A loving admiration for God that includes obedience to God and the commands His word.”  As a Christian women that is something that I want to be synonymous with me.

her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Proverbs 31:28b-29

  1. My husband

Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Her children arise and call her blessed;

Proverbs 31:28a

  1. My Children

My daughter’s ages right now are pivotal in their own right. I have an 11 year old, who is on the cusp of teenage years and womanhood.  A seven year old, who is starting to come into her own.  A 16 month old, who is discovering this world and picking up on social cues. All of them no matter what they’re age continues to look to me to shape their ideas and role as a woman in this world. I strive to teach them how to be a light for God and noble.

Tapping to my why gives me more than the motivation that I need to achieve my weight loss goal. It also gives me a satisfaction that is better than any adrenaline high and keeps me committed to my faith, husband and children.  Some days I may be tired, have nutritional blunders but at the beginning and end of each day. I am praising God for giving me a temple to honor and doing my best to do just that. How are you honoring your temple?

 

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Babies

Toys through the Stages

 

 


Laugh & Learn Smart Stages Car

 

The saying, “they grow too fast”, is truly felt when your the mother of a toddler. My littlest diva just turned one in July and ever since her development has been growing leaps and bounds. The fact that she is the youngest sister of an 11 and 7 year old doesn’t help either. I feel like I was just buying stacking toys, and color/shape sorters and here she is almost 16 months and I am searching pretend toys.  I was so happy to receive some awesome toys that grow with my curious and every day advancing toddler.

We received from Fisher Price two toys, at first I didn’t see the value of the stages but after thoroughly testing them out I do now. Today, as I was going through the toy box to see what toys were consignment store worthy I had an “Aha” moment. Out of all of her toys the Laugh and Learn Stages toys are actually a great investment. When she first started we began at stage 1 (of course) but now she is beginning to progress to about Stage 2  in a matter of 4 months, which is great because I still have about 4-8 more months of use out of these toys.  The Laugh & Learn Smart Stages series is something definitely going on our Christmas Wishlist this year. These developmental progressing toys are going to be my go to when buying toys for my family and friends little ones. They grow with them, genius, finally toy makers are thinking ahead.

At first, I just thought of the stages as buttons to click so I don’t have to hear the little song, after a play session with my 16 month old they are useful.  For example, the purse today I set it on Stage 1 and quickly she mastered the prompts, which were choosing the colors of the shapes. I ask her a color and she would pick it out. Some took a couple attempts but she eventually got it. Then I moved it to Stage 2, I wanted to gauge how smart my little future female president, astronaut, dancer, rock star was in development. (Maybe by the time she grows up she actually could be all those things you never know, doesn’t hurt to dream, right?) The Stage 2 she wasn’t completely ready for, spanish, shapes, numbers but we have some time to grow into that. So, went back down to Stage 1, and now we are working on shapes and colors.

 

Then, I decided to move on to the other Laugh and Learn Smart Stages Car we received, (Now I am in full baby development scientist mode and honestly when you play with a toddler everyday all day using your adult brain instead of your autopilot mommy mode is needed.) She actually initiated playing with the car because she absolutely loves her car. Since the day we put it together she plays with this car at least 2 hours collectively a day. Getting in and out sometimes falling in and out. Jamming shapes in the side, rolling the balls in, throwing the balls, mouthing the balls, lets just say she really likes to play with balls. What she really loves is the keys and the radio. She is pressing the radio, bobbing her head, it’s super cute and lately with her pink little Laugh and Learn smart stages purse on her arm. (Just like mommy.)

Laugh &Learn Smart Stages car

It’s fascinating that at the age of 16 months she is already imitating me. I didn’t realize how much I clean until I saw her wiping down her play kitchen from top to bottom. She is just beginning two word combinations but she is still paying attention and watching my every move. I began exploring  her developmental genius with the car. Beginning at Stage 1, which for the car I think she is a Stage 1-2 but not at 3 yet. I “tested” her with the various functions and loved the results. She actually is learning things with these toys, its not like the Red Coupe I played with when I was little this is asking her things and she is responding,yet again, she doesn’t talk all that much. These toys are great and I am definitely getting some for my niece because I would be handing them down to her but since Milah is only on Stage 1 & 2 we have a lot of months to go. The only thing that we might need are some fresh batteries pretty soon but that definitely beats buying a new toy.

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