bad habits – FaithFueled™ Mom

mistake

I made a delicious, nutritious, and fat loss friendly meal for breakfast. Nothing extravagant Apple Chai (Sugar Free) Oatmeal and Hard boiled Eggs. Something very simple after an intense workout. Ate my serving, that was measured out and a perfect portion, then I did the unthinkable. A habit that I have had since my lil diva’s started eating table food. I am usually mindful but you know how things go, sometimes you slip back into old habits. So, what did I do that is so heinous? As I am clearing the table, I…..yes, I did it. I scarfed down the leftover food from my littlest diva’s plate. (The horror-insert scared emoji here) I went from being completely satisfied with my meal, portion, and calories being in a healthy range. To the feeling of being stuffed and adding probably a good 100-200 calories extra to my meal, (maybe less) which I can’t totally calculate because I didn’t measure out my child’s leftovers. Now, am I going to totally freak out and do more pushups, jumping jacks, and burpees. Um, no I am way to worn out for that. Thank God there is such a thing as grace. But, I am going to be mindful that these bad habits although innocent is little things that make it harder for me to get to my goal. A healthier, physically fit body. That I work very hard on 30 minutes a day 4 days a week. While doing dishes I was thinking, “I know other mother’s do the same thing but I wonder how many innocent habits do we do that hamper our progress?” I came up with five and I would love for you to add more that I don’t think about and maybe not even aware of that these little nuances exist. Pointing them out will help us to stay focused and not derail our hard efforts. Time and pushups are very valuable things to me and if I can reduce both that is a good thing.

Derail

5 Habits Mom do to derail progress

Eating remaining food off your children’s plate. Let’s start with today’s offender. I try to be mindful of this but being the overseer of our food budget and working hard to provided nutritious meals for my family. When I see perfectly good food on its way to the trash my first instinct is to just eat it. You know the saying, “there are poor children starving in Africa.” My instinct to save the waste is counterproductive to my goal to live a healthier lifestyle. Those little bit of calories can add up, considering you feed your children 3-5 times a day. A great solution is to serve your children less. They can always get more and that way they are not wasting as much food and you are not adding to your daily intake by saving food from the trash.
Not sitting down to eat. Again, most of these are just going to be my confession. Up until recently especially in the morning before school. I would eat on the go and have my children sit at the table for breakfast, lunch and I usually sit down during dinner. But, sometimes I am trying to throw something in my mouth and tackle, chores, phone calls, or something while I have them sitting there quietly (somewhat) eating a meal. This too allows you to make poor food choices, portion control and just add unnecessary stress. Sit down, chill, enjoy the meal you have prepared and take a little time out in your day to talk with your children. Teaching moments of “abc’s” or just to sit for 10-20 minutes. This can help reduce your stress which helps reduce your cortisol so, it’s a triple win; Stress reducer, nourishment and calorie control.
Don’t drink enough water. I am in that weird mom stage, I am either on the go with my two older school age children or I am on alert with a very curious toddler. Regardless, I am not attentive to my own needs most of the time. Somedays, I am just on auto pilot getting through the to-do’s of the day. We are supposed to drink half our weight in ounces of water. If I am conscious I am doing that but that requires lots of fill ups and lots of pit stops, if you know what I am saying. But, proper hydration is key to good nutrition so it is something that must be added to the to-do list until, it becomes a great habit.
Don’t make time to workout. Again, this was a mistake of mine. So, beginning of 2015 I had the best intentions. Gym membership, resolution motivation and a 6 month old baby and two active lil school aged divas. My husband works most of the time so, although I intentionally signed up with a 24-hour gym I never seemed to make it in there at all within 24-hours. I am just hanging on by a prayer after 8 pm when my husband usually comes home during basketball season, so night time workout don’t work. Although, I get up at five in the morning for devotion. The idea of getting up at 4 am to devote and then workout seemed like pure insanity to me. I think it would be safe to say that as a mother we do not always prioritize ourselves in life. That is a mistake. We need to take care of ourselves. Physical inactivity leads to so many things that cause us to poorly do our job. Small things like lack in energy, poor immune system; To big things like stroke, obesity, diabetes and other life threatening ailments. We must be active for at least 150 hours per week according to the American Center for Disease Control, however you break that down in your week. It’s a must! So, not adding your time to devote (I find that essential in self-care and honoring your temple) and exercise is a major no, no to weight loss and a healthy lifestyle.

Deuteronomy316

5. Rely on your self.

How do you do better?

The second best thing I ever did for myself was canceled my gym membership, invested in weights and found an awesome workout that could be done in less than 30 minutes. It has double the benefits of going to the gym, an hour of cardio, or an hour workout DVD. If you have an hour of to devote to working out make sure you schedule it in and pop in that DVD. Whatever you do get your 150 hours a week in any way that you can. With kids, without kids but just honor your temple with intentionally avoiding habits and mistakes that you have become accustomed to. I know that I am doing it and although the journey is not as fast as I like, “if I stop now, I will soon be back where I started, 40 pounds heavier, 56 more inches wider. And when I started, I was desperately wishing I could be where I am now.”

The best thing that I did to help me see my mistakes and have strength to change them was bring my goal to live better and healthier to God. After trying too long and too hard I gave it to Him and He has helped me overcome so much. Even though old ugly habits will rear there heads. I was able to instantly recognize it and now will make a conscious effort to overcome it.

Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid of them! The Lord your God will goes ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

I know I am not crossing a river to go into warfare but I am going into battle with my own sinful nature. And the ways that I have become accustomed and where I am trying to do better in my life. So, get out there and honor your temple better. What mistakes or habits do you have that are derailing you from honoring your temple better?

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Old Habits Never Die

journey

We can change a old habit but it will never die. The definition of change is to become something different. I had a love-hate relationship with fitness. When I first met my husband, my husband (not at the time but soon to be) was a personal trainer and I was one of those very skinny fat people. A good metabolism and no children made a body good but I was very unhealthy. I ate so many bad things, I smoked (secretly from my then boyfriend who hated it), I drank socially, I hated working out but my husband inspired me to change some of my ways-smoking, physical inactivity. It was great! I began forming new habits I began to change and become something different. Just like any journey we take we start off somewhere and we end up somewhere completely different. But just because we are in that new place doesn’t erase where we came from. Habits are just like that, never dying always there but new ones can be formed that are better for you and what you want to continue.

What do we know?

I am sure you have heard that it takes 21 days to create a habit. Why is that? A habit is basically a pattern of behavior that gets “worn into our brain.” Everything we do (and think, for that matter) is governed by impulses firing across synapses, or spaces between certain cells that guide communication.

That is why sometime when you are driving home from work and you can seem on autopilot. For instance, say you add something to your schedule such as “pick up milk before I get home.” You mentally remind yourself before you leave your office yet, you drive straight home only to open the refrigerator and realize; “I forgot to pick up the milk before I came home.” We have all done something like that because we are in the habit of doing certain task one way and when we add something different we have to make a conscious effort to change that habit.

When any behavior or pattern is repeated enough, the synaptic pathways associated with that pattern get used to being accessed. As a result, it becomes easier for impulses to travel along those pathways, and the behavior seems “natural.” In other words, to the brain, drive straight home, is practically instinctive. One action triggers the next.

I am sure that you have tried other programs and they have told you “In three weeks this will become second nature” and you have been skeptical, first how can you make a drastic change in your life so quickly and second, how are you going to be able to stay on track for 3 weeks or 21 days. It is possible but it all depends on “how bad do you want it?”

So, is this kind of making sense to you? Let me give you some scientific background of how and why you need more than three weeks to create a lifetime habit?

autopilot

What don’t we know?

The pattern-enforcing synaptic pathways are able to be programmed. There is no real known origin of the 21 day rule, there is a book called “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz, which was a self-help book that was published in the 1970s reprinted in 1989. Psycho-Cybernetics, stated that it takes 21 days to create or break a habit. The evidence gathered from that book was based on practical experiences and not clinical experiences. It has been used in a most programs since then. It has been proven that most people can adapt or change a bad habit in 21 days but as far as brain waves, and any other research to back up the claim there is no known origin.

We all know that is easier to pick up a habit then it is to break a habit. Especially, if you enjoy it or it relieves some form of stress or anxiety such as nail biting, smoking, over eating, etc. If you repeat a behavior often enough your synaptic pathways are going to become programmed. The human brain is an adaptive organ and adapts to its surroundings very easily. Does it actually take 21 days, who knows, sometimes it takes 15 days others it take 25 days but generally speaking by the 21^st day a habit becomes second nature. Everyone is different and every brain is different but a key to habit formation is dependent on the experience and the personality of the individual. If it goes against the grain it might take longer for you to adapt hence why you may “fall off the wagon.” It’s not because you didn’t program your brain you are not enjoying the experience which is why when trying to break a habit you need to find something that is pleasurable to you to replace it and allow new synaptic pathways to form.

Breaking a habit is a lot more complicated, because while parts of those worn-in pathways can weaken without use, they never go away [source: Rae-Dupree]. They can be reactivated with the slightest provocation [source: Delude]. If you’ve ever tried to quit smoking, you already know this. You can go a year without a cigarette, and then give in one time and BANG, the habit comes right back.

The best you can do, then, is to form a new, parallel pattern, like exercising when you feel stress, rather than indulge the old pattern, which triggers “cigarette” in response to stress. I also find that praying is comforting and stress relieving and as I reflecting in my Honor Your Temple Prayer Challenge is an optimal solution to help you break a bad habit. This is also, why “falling off the wagon” becomes so easy. You have already programmed yourself and unfortunately creating new and better habits is not a reset button it is more of a pause button on those habit that you no longer desire but don’t know how to break and re-record.

Let’s be real it is really going to probably take 60 days to truly break a habit. 21-30 days (Take into account personality differences) to change the habit and then another 30 days to reinforce that change and create a strong synaptic pathway that will be sustaining.

When I used to work in professional organizing I would work with my clients for a minimum of 60 days. I created a new habit timeline for them to follow that may help you form a new and better habit this year too.

Habittimeline

Week 5-8: Find an accountability partner, group, etc. someone to check in with weekly and tell you them of the success you have made. It’s easier to be held accountable once you have already made the change versus while you are trying to change. It is less discouraging if you have change or setbacks. Also, this is a personal change and you can’t let outside influences effect inside transformations. Continue this transformation. Continue to keep track and expand on it if possible. Sign up for cooking courses, 5k’s, competitions, or something to practice your new change with. Reward yourself at the end of each week with something of value to you. By Week 8 you should have two habits; one is the habit you’ve wished to transform; the other is a new habit. Once you achieve that keep in mind that “Old habits don’t die!”

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